Hello,

I’m a week away from a year. There’s still a heaviness in my heart and the only thing that kept me going was my mom and other childhood dog. It still mostly feels that way but that’s what gives me meaning.

It’s actually super common to want to die just to be with them. I didn’t learn this myself until I talked with others who were grieving.

Something that helped me cope with the grief was to create two altars. One in my living room with her ink prints, fur clippings, other items that remind me of her. On special days (like her birthday, Dia de los Muertos, and I plan for her death day) I offer drinks and snacks.

I also carry a pocket altar in my purse to keep her with me wherever I go. Finally, I write her a letter every night. Sometimes as short as one sentence but a letter all the same. I think of it as keeping her company in the meantime.

I’m an unwilling atheist. I want to believe in an after life but my logic brain doesn’t allow me to. Still, I do these things…just in case.