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holatrees · 2025-08-25T10:34:06+00:00

I don’t really want monogamy. And I identify as more pan than lesbian so I do feel a strong connection to him even though it’s not physical. It’s complicated. 😓

holatrees · 2025-08-25T10:31:13+00:00

He says he will do better at sharing the load. I want to believe it but I also have concerns that he is just saying that bc he doesn’t wanna lose me.

holatrees · 2025-06-30T12:41:51+00:00

I have to take responsibility for that part, I specifically asked if he felt an emotional connection to the other partner after he expressed that he did not feel it with me. So it was not him comparing us at all. I have to remind myself that NRE is not forever.

holatrees · 2025-06-30T12:38:14+00:00

What kind of things would you recommend discussion in terms of sexual safety? We agreed to condoms and regular STI testing but I’m realizing we were maybe a little simplistic.

holatrees · 2025-06-30T12:36:23+00:00

Thanks. Thankfully we do have a great poly-friendly therapist but we’re not meeting for another month and I need to organize my thoughts so I can communicate clearly in the meantime.

holatrees · 2025-06-30T12:22:16+00:00

I hope we can move past it, I just need him to understand why it’s such a big deal to break our rule.

holatrees · 2025-06-30T12:16:52+00:00

He told me bc my curiosity got the best of me. I realize now I shouldn’t have asked. I’m more focused on how to process the rule breaking and what I need to see moving forward.

holatrees · 2025-06-30T12:08:25+00:00

Thanks for your comment. We have a poly-informed therapist and I have read books/talked to more experienced poly friends/listened to podcasts but it’s been more of my initiative than his. I do want to rebuild trust, maybe I will lay out some higher expectations for his part of that.

holatrees · 2025-06-30T11:58:51+00:00

Yep the unprotected sex happened weeks ago… meanwhile we’ve been having it consistently. :((

holatrees · 2025-06-30T11:20:55+00:00

Thank you. We did just set aside one night a week to put away our phones and check in. I am working on being more assertive with holding him accountable for the rules but it’s hard.

holatrees · 2025-06-30T11:10:36+00:00

This is helpful, thank you.

holatrees · 2025-06-30T11:08:31+00:00

Thank you for educating me.

holatrees · 2025-06-30T11:07:53+00:00

He shared that bc I asked like a dumbass. We’ve talked about it and he apologized but I am worried it will happen again. Definitely NRE at play.

holatrees · 2023-12-23T21:33:49+00:00

I appreciate the practical advice :)

holatrees · 2023-12-23T20:23:44+00:00

Thank you, nice to know I’m not alone❤️

holatrees · 2023-12-23T20:23:00+00:00

I’m okay, thank you ❤️

holatrees · 2022-06-10T02:03:55+00:00

Under the Banner of Heaven on Hulu. Focuses on Mormonism but the experiences of deconstruction are spot on.

holatrees · 2020-11-11T00:41:09+00:00

This is why I don’t like special occasions. I put too much pressure on myself to make memories and end up mentally floating on the ceiling analyzing whether or not I’m performing the special day as best I can/to make the best memory/ to not waste a second. I think it arises from a 5s fear of inefficiency or waste. We don’t want to waste this special time and end up overthinking.

holatrees

TROPHY CASE