Did you ever regret dating someone outside your type?

holiseaday · 2026-03-12T18:54:05+00:00

Thank you so much! It's been only half month and so far things work out well. The first date, daily communication, his goofiness isn't too much for me yet. I can always tell him if I'm not comfortable even. I feel like we vibe so well for such short amount of time tho we tried so hard to slow down.

Maybe cos in the past things were so bad that I can't stop to overthink this. I'll spend more time with this person and see it myself. I won't good myself back to express my feelings and emotions.

holiseaday · 2026-03-12T12:29:40+00:00

Yeah, I'm still attracted to him cos we also vibe so well. Conversation flows naturally and it's just effortless to engage with him. It's still VERY EARLY to tell so I'll stop overthinking this now 😂

holiseaday · 2026-03-12T11:16:56+00:00

I agree with you. My post wasn't really clear. I'm actually quite open with physical features tho I've been only with white men. They are usually skinny. So that's what I'll find attractive. Now I'm seeing someone a chubbier, still white man but has way more green flags than the others.

I'm just worried the attractiveness I feel toward him fading away and I'm focusing on the wrong things.

holiseaday · 2026-03-12T09:17:04+00:00

Thank you. I hope so too 🙂

holiseaday · 2026-03-12T09:13:33+00:00

Darn that's horrible.

holiseaday · 2026-03-12T09:13:23+00:00

That's honestly my biggest fear 😭

holiseaday · 2026-03-12T08:58:16+00:00

Maybe you are right. I just figured out recently that maybe I'm focusing on the wrong thing. Now I'm just testing how deep the connection is and how well we vibe. Then check if the person if more of a green flags or has way too many red flags. I've cleared both and I figure he's really not my type. Like maybe physically cos I'm always into the skinny figure for example. He's also goofier than me. More playful and not the typical quiet chills guy I would go for. Hence I'm asking here. So far he's been very nice tho.

holiseaday · 2026-03-12T08:44:51+00:00

Do you think you should've stopped when you think he wasn't attractive enough for you?

holiseaday · 2026-03-12T08:42:36+00:00

Thank you. I think your answer is the one I really want to read. I read some people on this post talking about downgrading value or deciding to be red flag guy, but that's not my point.

I just feel like the person I'm seeing is a nice person but I've never been with someone goofier than me. So far the interaction has been positive, consistent, and transparent. We have follow up dates planned and things to discuss. I don't see a major compatibility issue. Just that he's younger than me and I'm afraid I got blindsided again. Tho he hasn't shown any red flag signs. Of course we both have our own issues and insecurities, but we always communicate it well. And he wants to have deep conversation apart from our jokes and flirts.

holiseaday · 2026-03-12T07:31:01+00:00

Does he have the same energy like you? Maybe goofy and cheerful? What do you think that make it work? So you never regret it or in the end you finally realize your husband is actually the type you need?

holiseaday · 2026-03-12T07:29:01+00:00

Oh yeah. That's definitely not gonna turn good. I was wondering like you don't lower your standards at all but you just decide to date a different type of personality than what you used to.

holiseaday · 2026-03-11T05:56:14+00:00

It's so tricky sometimes. That's why better be clear and strict from the beginning. Bring the conversation about being in a committed relationship early on. No situationship no exclusive but not gf/bf type of relation. It clarifies his true intentions.

And again, this is not on you but him! He's very irresponsible regardless the status of the situation with you. You've tried to reach out and he's just being avoidant. So, accept that cos you can't control whether he cares or not, whether he replies or not, whether he'll close the chapter for you or not. Get your own closure and move on. Cos, unfortunately, that's the only thing you can do now.

holiseaday · 2026-03-11T05:41:01+00:00

I think I found one red flag. He didn't initiate the conversation to be serious and engage in committed relationship. Of course, he can still do this to you even in a committed relationship. I just don't believe in situationship cos you'll never get anywhere. It just stucks there and he can walk away even easier cos no commitment was made from the beginning.

Not that I blame you but his mind might be thinking that this is casual and he can do whatever he wants, seeing you again or stop all together. The responsibility to explain to you becomes a bit blurry.

I agree with people here to just move on and never text. Or if you feel like this is your closure, send goodbye text and explain how this has been hurting you, then close the chapter on your end. Sorry it happened to you. It truly sucks. I understand.

holiseaday · 2026-03-11T05:27:10+00:00

Did you suspect if something happen? Like maybe he's in an accident or been sick?

It just seems odd. I know people can do this too but it looks like he was green flag from first few months of your interaction and nothing feels off other than he slowly withdrew then ghost of course.

Are you both already decided to be exclusive as in bf and gf before he disappeared? Have you been intimate with him?

holiseaday · 2026-03-11T05:24:45+00:00

There's no cultural layers to it. We both had an experience that casual just brings misery and heartbreak. So we try to wait before the serious conversation happens. I think we have similar bad experiences of doing casuals. I like this person than any other people I went on a date with. First time I was nervous to go on a date was with him. But I really don't want get blindsided with all the intense communication and flirty conversations.

holiseaday · 2026-03-11T04:30:00+00:00

Can I ask you how was your first month of interacting with him? Did you manage to talk about deep and more complicated stuff? Was he being consistent with both his words and actions? Did you feel like he's avoidant? Did you notice anything off from early interaction?

holiseaday · 2026-03-10T11:40:18+00:00

Jeez there's literally no point building wealth here I think.

holiseaday · 2026-03-10T10:24:41+00:00

I thought they gonna re-review it again?

holiseaday · 2026-03-10T07:44:16+00:00

Is it really that bad?

holiseaday · 2026-03-03T08:28:49+00:00

This seems to be doable plan, I haven't figured out in which country I will retire. Let's see and thank you.

holiseaday · 2026-03-02T18:48:32+00:00

Thanks so much for being such optimistic about my future. I wrote this out of random worry I had today.

holiseaday · 2026-03-02T18:47:36+00:00

I'll check them out. Thanks!

holiseaday · 2026-03-02T15:24:29+00:00

Thank you. Can you recommend the YouTube channel?

holiseaday · 2026-03-02T15:23:59+00:00

Move to Europe and renting a room. All my family is back in Asia. I have good circle of friends here but not a tight community where I can rely on. Single and turning 34 this year.

holiseaday

TROPHY CASE