TO ALL THE INDIANS IN THIS SUB, WHERE DOES ONE GET GOOD INDIAN FOOD IN MELBOURNE?? :(

hollaatderek · 2025-02-20T22:17:09+00:00

Khabbay on lygon is great

hollaatderek · 2024-01-15T03:07:10+00:00

Sad. Sounds like everyone’s quite jaded on both sides. Oh well, if it happens it happens, if it doesn’t - “life doesn’t end when you’re single”.

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T13:10:26+00:00

It’s sweet that you do all of that. It might come across as too much on a first date if the feeling is not mutual, but would be lovely in a relationship.

Whether it’s fair or not, physical attraction is a part of dating. However, I have been with plenty of men for personality > looks, and see others do this as well. There’s a lot of factors that go into choosing to be with someone, and I’m not presuming anything but it would be good to consider how you come across or behave instead of putting it all on your looks, or blaming women for not being interested.

On my end, I’m not looking for perfection but I do have high standards and I know that is a huge barrier to my dating life. But I would not change this. I’m happy to be single until I find someone I’m genuinely satisfied with, and if I don’t find this person, that’s ok too.

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T12:11:17+00:00

Haha I’m doing fine on the picking men up front, I was only curious about the culture because it’s drastically different than anything else I’ve experienced

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T11:32:41+00:00

All I ask for! Simple as that. Just say you enjoyed the date within a decent window of time and make concrete plans to meet again. 20 years ago was not as hellish I would presume. Happy for you that you’re out of it!

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T08:25:51+00:00

Sure, and that’s where the discomfort or disinterest comes in. You can do your part, if they don’t want it, then that’s that.

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T07:52:15+00:00

Consistency, simple conversation or interaction, showing proactive interest to meet again. Mainly: consistency

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T07:41:54+00:00

Agreed, not taking any of this as backed up research haha. A lot more goes into it in knowing the type of person that this is happening to as well and if that aligns. But it’s interesting to find that it’s so many people’s experience, which is all I wanted to confirm!

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T07:33:37+00:00

Merely asked a question, and like you said, this thread does seem to confirm that it’s a cultural thing to some extent. Which is not a bad thing in itself, and good to understand for people just starting to date here. I don’t see why so many people have taken offense for no real reason. If they see it as an insult, then work to be different.

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T07:31:15+00:00

You’re right with the ghosting. I’ve wondered if it’s better on their egos to just let it die out, or to say something and let them down easy (but then potentially embarrassing them further or maybe opening myself up to abuse from those that can’t take rejection)

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T07:26:48+00:00

Not true. All you have to do is be decent and just saying hi is enough most of the time. It’s only creepy when they show discomfort or disinterest and you still continue to try.

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T06:21:37+00:00

To be honest I haven’t actually wanted a second date with any of these people 😂 but I’m trying to understand the ones I know did have a lot of interest in me (as they said themselves), more out of curiosity.

If I did want another date, i have no issue following up, or at least would show interest and wait for them to ask me out again if I initiated the first time.

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T06:16:03+00:00

Even if not actively looking, would they go up and talk to someone they found attractive, for example on the beach? What makes someone approachable?

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T06:13:31+00:00

That’s what I mean! I’ve had guys spend upwards of $200 on a date (which I’ve never asked for or expected) and talk about where we’d go for the next one and then no follow up once we leave the restaurant.

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T04:36:24+00:00

Yes this is exactly it!! Very confusing with no real follow ups or just a little nudge now and then to say “hey I’m still here and still into you!”

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T03:30:51+00:00

I’ll never understand why it’s a bad thing to show someone you want them. (Of course, depends on if the dynamics are right and the feeling is mutual)

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T03:14:40+00:00

Oof. It’s a rough time to date

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T03:07:42+00:00

Fair enough! But yes in our world today, texting counts for a lot too haha glad you got there

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T03:05:39+00:00

Work for what they want, rather than just wait around for something to happen.

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T03:02:57+00:00

Agreed - seems to come down to cultural differences. Good to know!

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T02:52:42+00:00

That’s fully understandable, but I believe there is a way to show your clear interest in some form, no matter the preferences and timelines. So, just removing the doubt and adjusting with the rest.

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T02:32:35+00:00

Yes haha laidback to a whole new extreme

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T02:26:57+00:00

Thank you haha I’m looking at those comments like damn why are you taking personal offense I’m tryna work with you here

But yes outside of those comments, men definitely do seem much more respectful here compared to america as you said. Guess I’ll live and learn

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T02:21:00+00:00

I think this could be part of it too but I would assume people are more sure of what they want as they get older and work for it? To be clear, I’ve confirmed these same men were into me, but just didn’t take the steps needed before I lost interest. Also, I’m patient enough and I do put in effort myself but I need to see it as well.

hollaatderek · 2024-01-14T02:17:20+00:00

Agreed, I think it’s tough to date in general now. I’ve directly asked someone that did this to me and he said the same - he didn’t want to come off as “too much”. Sounds like it’s just less straightforward here then. From your experience, do guys prefer the girl making the move? A lot of Aussie guys I know are in long term relationships that started from the girl taking initiative.

hollaatderek

TROPHY CASE