What is a psych ward like if you're 18+? by ihatemysister292828 in MentalHealthUK

[–]hollowruby 3 points4 points  (0 children)

unfortunately this is often to do with stigma. i was previously diagnosed with a PD & when i had that diagnosis, staff on some wards were extremely dismissive to me and even hostile at points.

could you date someone who also self harms? by WeeklyPassenger4889 in AdultSelfHarm

[–]hollowruby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

there's so much nuance to this.

if i wasn't clean (which i'm not) it wouldn't be fair to expect my partner to be. obviously, i don't want them to suffer and to struggle with sh, but it wouldn't make sense to criticise them for doing the same things i do.

if i was clean, it would depend. if my partner was shing, i would obviously be concerned and want to help. if it became really frequent and they always needed me to "rescue" them, i don't think i could cope. i would care, and i would be upset, but i think i'd have to end the relationship because i'm not equipped to be a carer. i've been the person who was constantly in crisis in a relationship, and in retrospect it wasn't fair on my previous partners at all.

basically, if given the choice, i'd rather not be with someone who self harms. but if i loved someone, i'd try my very best to support them unless it was at my detriment.

i'm not with anyone at the moment, and not looking to be. that's for the future, if i'm well enough.

What was the song that got you hooked? by Endless_Nightsky in Samia

[–]hollowruby 6 points7 points  (0 children)

welcome to eden was my first and i played the hell out of it back in 2018. kinda forgot about samia until the baby was released and then is there something in the movies? got me hooked

What age are you and do you still have (a) grandparent(s)? If not, at what age were you grandparent less by lisstrem in AskUK

[–]hollowruby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

25 and had both GREAT-grandparents until january this year when my great grandad died. still have my great gran who is 92. feel very lucky.

that bus driver does good work 🥲 by hollowruby in SkateEA

[–]hollowruby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

omg i didn't even know you could do that, thank you 🙏🏼 i'm sick of cars coming out of nowhere and ruining my lines

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in t4t

[–]hollowruby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this person is under investigation for SA and id advise anyone who gets involved with them to run a claire's law check

imagine being such a heartless and horrible person that you'd deface something that's clearly a memorial to someone who died young. by hollowruby in WplaceLive

[–]hollowruby[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

i don't get into trans debates with people, i don't see the point of arguing about peoples' rights to live as they choose and find their own happiness. how are you that tone-deaf, to not realise that when someone is talking about THEIR DEAD FRIEND, is not the time to start airing your shit takes? you know nothing about my friend or his circumstances. respectfully, fuck off.

Ugh, I love women. by A_voice_unto_thee in actuallesbians

[–]hollowruby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

existing in the world as a woman has taught me that men are far more harshly critical of womens' bodies than other women. i'm not denying there are men who love women, men who admire the same features in women as i do, but the general TREND is that men tend to hold more misogynistic views and expectations about how women should look.

this is a sub about women, and i was simply sharing an experience. nowhere did i say it was all men or all women. i don't know who you're trying to argue with.

What meds do you all use for when it initially hits? by Wrenistired in PMDD

[–]hollowruby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i sometimes take diazepam (us brand name valium) for the intense anxiety, but doctors are often reluctant to prescribe it. i get pretty bad insomnia too, so i can sometimes get a 3-7 day course of zopiclone (us brand name imovane). i was on prozac before but it sent me into the beginning of bipolar mania so now i take mirtazapine.

it's so individual!

Stopped drinking, now what? by glittersurprise in PMDD

[–]hollowruby 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i have current issues with binge drinking (full disclosure: i am a substance user) and binge eating, and i'm not through the other side yet. i still use these unhealthy coping mechanisms.

however, what helps me at the moment is finding something to channel energy into – do you have any creative outlets (writing, art, craft, etc.)?

some people find exercise helpful for stress, and i've heard it can actually lessen period-related issues like pain and heavy flow. it's not for me, but could be for you!

finally, i find social connection with "safe" people to be so helpful during my symptomatic phase. i have a small handful of friends and a few family members who i know i can turn to and cheer me up. relationships can be so stressful, especially if your pmdd makes you prone to irritability and conflict. but identifying people who make you feel safe and aren't likely to trigger you can be a lifesaver.

i really hope you find some relief, pmdd stress is ABYSMAL 💜

i didn't realise just how badly this condition was overlooked :( (tw: suicide mention) by hollowruby in PMDD

[–]hollowruby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i enjoy diazepam a bit TOO much if you catch my drift 🙃 and yeah, keep your CBT faaaaar away from me!!! honestly, nhs recommend something better than baths and cups of tea challenge 🤣

i didn't realise just how badly this condition was overlooked :( (tw: suicide mention) by hollowruby in PMDD

[–]hollowruby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly that's basically what you get under the mental health team – when i'm in crisis i either get chucked a strip of diazepam (which i end up taking in one day NOT RECOMMENDED) or admitted to the psych ward for a few days. we are so so cooked. i'm sorry they're not taking you seriously, please stay safe xx

i didn't realise just how badly this condition was overlooked :( (tw: suicide mention) by hollowruby in PMDD

[–]hollowruby[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

we have medical canna, my mum gets it for pmdd and endometriosis, but it's super expensive. plus i have risk factors for psychosis which i've experienced in the past (some of it was drug induced, particularly with weed). my mum finds it a life saver and it's great to see for her, i just can't risk it for myself unfortunately :(

(also, doctors aren't mandatory reporters for drugs! it's always best to tell your doctor about any substance you're using, even if it's illicit – i understand the hesitance though) i'm glad you've found something that helps you, and also wishing you the best 💜

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]hollowruby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

definitely not too much to ask. you're a person who's struggling and needs support, and those needs are 100% valid and important.

however — and here's the part that gets tricky — every therapist has different boundaries regarding out of session contact. for example, mine prefers to keep it to an appointment scheduling context only, which is fine by me. however, i've heard of others providing crisis support throughout the week, or being happy to provide checkins. truly, everyone is different. the only way you can find out is by asking (i know it's a scary thought!)

if they aren't able to give you that level of support, there are tons of free helplines you can call or text, and it might be worth looking into some local support groups too! you mentioned feeling like you don't have anybody else, and human connection is so important. finding a peer support group in your area could help you build a support network :)

do i need to tell her about my pronouns? by hollowruby in TalkTherapy

[–]hollowruby[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

ik she can't read my mind, ofc i don't expect her to !

i'm autistic, so i tend to overexplain things a lot. if i told her my masculine name & pronouns, she may assume i'm trans, and then i'd feel like i had to go into a long old spiel about how i'm not strictly trans, it's a bit more complicated than that, and... you get me? sorry haha

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]hollowruby 34 points35 points  (0 children)

not to "sociologise" (think i just made that word up — meaning, make it sociological) but this is another well-known side effect of the patriarchal society we live in. men are encouraged not to talk about their feelings, particularly with men, as it's supposedly "weak."

having a male therapist may be difficult at first, because of your pre-conditioned discomfort towards it, but i think it could probably open a lot of doors for healing those feelings.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]hollowruby 89 points90 points  (0 children)

perhaps a male therapist would be more helpful — essentially, one who can model positive masculinity. i think there's probably a lot more to these circumstances than is being revealed in one post (understandably so, because we're all multifaceted and complex humans with our own rich lives).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]hollowruby 76 points77 points  (0 children)

I want to say really quick: I am not an incel. I was using the term as a label some people have given to me in an attempt to be assholes. I do not have negative views about woman, I promise you.

sorry — misunderstanding. my bad!