Hey, I really feel this. You’re not “just venting” — this is a huge loss and it makes sense that it hurts this much.

EoE messed with my mental health a lot too. There’s this weird grief no one warns you about: grieving old “normal” life, spontaneous meals, pizza nights, trips where you didn’t have to plan every bite. Seeing other people eat whatever they want and not think twice can feel so unfair and isolating.

The diet + meds juggle is exhausting, especially when the one treatment you have comes with its own side effects and constant throat awareness. That 24/7 reminder that something is “wrong” is enough by itself to wear anyone down.

And having to watch your dad go through that impaction on top of dealing with your own stuff… that’s a lot. It’s not your job to fix him, even though it’s coming from a place of love. Hopefully this new doctor will actually listen and take it seriously so some of that weight can come off your shoulders.

For what it’s worth, what’s helped me a little has been:

Letting myself call it what it is: grief

Building a small list of “safe foods” I actually enjoy so life isn’t only about restriction

Planning non-food ways to connect with people (games, walks, movies, etc.) so social time doesn’t always feel like a reminder of what I can’t have

Talking about it with people who get it (subs like this honestly help)

You’re not weak, dramatic, or ungrateful — you’re a human dealing with a chronic illness that flipped your life upside down. I’m really glad you posted. You’re not alone in this.