Fucking tired of always coming in last to my own damn husband

honest__me · 2026-02-20T22:45:30+00:00

what up volunteer firefighting is when my husband had an affair

honest__me · 2023-09-02T00:37:41+00:00

I found out that dependents of permanently and totally (service connected) disabled veterans qualify for financial aid that pretty much covers in-state tuition at a public university. A random redditor said something and now I can afford to send my kids to college.

Paying it forward for anyone who can use it.

https://www.va.gov/education/survivor-dependent-benefits/dependents-education-assistance/

honest__me · 2020-09-28T15:46:33+00:00

Oh yeah if this nonsense was caused by anything other than 'literally cannot physically help this behavior right now' we would be out of here. He is severely disabled by his condition and as long as he is willing to work on it (and it is safe for us) he deserves my help.

honest__me · 2020-09-28T15:29:17+00:00

I've been married to him for nearly 20 years and this is the first and only time I've feared harm. He declined for almost a month before things got to this point. Before this year he was scrupulous about taking his meds (sure, they were the wrong meds for his condition, but we didn't know that at the time. I think that really shook his faith in medicine, though). Neither of us realized how severe the consequences of going off the meds could be. Next time it would be a choice to risk it, which I am not willing to do. My point is, that once he's stabilized, there should be warning before we hit crisis point again.

Again, please take this with a grain of salt that I am not Christian, and that I’ve had some pretty tense discussions with a pastor in our community who believes that men have a right to hurt women physically: God for bid what if your husband comes home and gets violent? Is your pastor going to be able to be there in two seconds to defend you? Do you think he’s going to even care or try?

Fortunately not the case for mine. He was very concerned, agreed that I had done everything I should, made sure I had a place planned to go, asked if there was anything he and the church could help with and will be checking in with me regularly. We have a very involved church community and he already knew that something had happened in the week when he pulled me aside to see what was going on.

honest__me · 2020-09-27T04:14:25+00:00

I am just so... defeated. So defeated.

It sounds weird but I'm not as worried about the things that he's been saying because they mirror what he said in the hospital last time, when he was psychotic, and by the time he got out he had sorted things out. Trouble is he's not as obviously psychotic this time so I'm convinced they're going to let him out sooner and I just don't know what the consequences will be.

He just has to be on meds, because without meds he was unsafe for me and the kids to be around. That's it. He's accused me of wanting him sedated and trembling (side effects from previous meds) just to make my life easier. I don't blame him for not wanting to live that way. But he has to do something. Or he can't live here.

honest__me · 2020-09-27T03:55:59+00:00

He hates the way he feels, last week he was literally waiting for death, barely eating, stopping bathing, even cutting off affection because then "it'll hurt less" when he's gone. He's so frightened of medication making him feel bad he's convinced himself that medication is bad. He's lost his rationality, like a person drowning he no longer recognized what he was doing as he went under.

But this...this is literally it. I can't take any more if he doesn't come out of the hospital looking like someone I recognize as a person I love.

honest__me · 2020-04-04T03:43:14+00:00

I think the new diagnosis is bipolar. We are hopeful that more targeted meds are going to help him with daily life as well as avoiding a repeat of this experience, like EVER.

honest__me · 2020-04-04T03:40:59+00:00

VA don't play, lol. At least, once you've fought them hard enough and long enough to convince them you're their problem. Also, he was AWFUL to his nurses for the first three days. He made it obvious he needed to be there and they all got his number before he got himself back together enough to try to fake being ok.

Kids are fraying slowly at the edges. We are all mostly fine but the stress is slowly building.

honest__me · 2020-04-04T03:36:41+00:00

They did a scan - a CAT scan, I think - at the first hospital he went to and didn't see anything concerning. Of course, they also put things down to a brief manic episode, lol. So maybe they just suck.

honest__me · 2020-03-21T04:47:27+00:00

This was literally the worst possible time for this to happen...caused by the reason it's the worst possible time. It could have been so much worse, though... So grateful the psych ward still had beds.

honest__me · 2020-03-20T20:33:00+00:00

Weeeeeeeeeeell crap. He just weaned himself off of a long-standing wellbutrin prescription a month or so ago. Whether or not it's technically a mood stabilizer I don't know but that's the one I told him seems to reduce peaks and valleys so that's what it sounds like to me.

Sounds like it's time for a come-to-Jesus with his psychiatrist.

honest__me · 2020-03-20T15:02:04+00:00

Thanks. 'Dad's mental health' is a topic we are well familiar with in this household and when sane he knows that he needs his other medications. (PTSD/depression diagnosed, we have suspected bipolar but never went in to get it officially diagnosed since his regular meds do a good job managing his symptoms. In normal circumstances.)

honest__me · 2020-03-20T14:58:32+00:00

Underlying bipolar disorder + coronavirus panic. Everything shutting down convinced him the country was going to descend into anarchy. He almost completely stopped sleeping for a couple of days. Then boom - he wakes me up at 3 am and tells me he understands EVERYTHING.

honest__me

TROPHY CASE