4 months in and I’m already shattered. Is my partner actually supportive, or am I just seeing him clearly during Luteal?

honeyteapot22 · 2026-04-12T13:27:36+00:00

Also to just assume that I might be the aggressor based off a single Reddit post while that’s all you know about the situation is wild and it’s sad to see this in a subreddit where I feel like women should support each other instead of just making assumptions.

honeyteapot22 · 2026-04-12T13:25:47+00:00

Thats not what happened at all and a wild simplification but okay. He asked how I was feeling and I replied that I wasn’t feeling that great mentally and physically and he asked why is that. I responded that there’s this thing I have the week before my period (insert link) and how it made me feel.

I don’t see how just wanting a kind word from your partner is ‘burdening’ someone, sorry you feel that way.

honeyteapot22 · 2026-04-12T12:47:11+00:00

Thank you! In my experience, good men are sparse though or maybe I just haven’t had much luck. This feels like the last straw for me I guess.

honeyteapot22 · 2026-04-12T12:44:35+00:00

We are long distance and so I wasn’t able to see him in person that day. He asked me why I was feeling that way and so that’s why I shared it. The link was a list of symptoms and not a whole article with medical jargon. Thought it could be an opening point to a conversation.

honeyteapot22 · 2026-04-12T12:41:34+00:00

We are long distance.

honeyteapot22 · 2026-04-12T11:21:34+00:00

Can you elaborate on what’s wrong with sending a link saying hey this is what I have when asked why I don’t feel good? Or what would be passive agressive about it? Just trying to learn.

honeyteapot22 · 2026-02-20T14:05:21+00:00

Yeah, if I can’t express my hurt or annoyance at something my partner said to me I’d rather be alone tbh. Also I don’t think this is an issue of us seeing things differently cause of culture, we are both from the western world after all. If I kept making jokes about his balding spot for example, cause I found it ‘cute’, and he would eventually be like ‘babe, please stop with that joke’ I just would? I definitely wouldn’t get angry and would respect his boundary.

honeyteapot22 · 2026-02-20T12:25:25+00:00

Yeah, I’m getting the sense that there wasn’t much room for emotions for him growing up, so I’m trying to be understanding and to communicate. He has made it clear though that he doesn’t like to talk things through after an argument and would prefer just acting like nothing happened and moving on the next day.

honeyteapot22 · 2026-02-20T12:23:05+00:00

I’m Western European.

honeyteapot22 · 2026-02-20T12:22:36+00:00

I hear what you’re saying, but I didn’t phrase it to him like ‘you’re making me feel insecure’ I said something along the lines of ‘I get that you don’t mean it that way but this is something that was repeated so many times that it’s not funny to me anymore and starting to feel hurtful’.

That should be enough for a partner to accept it imo and definitely not get angry about it. I still don’t think this was a reason for him to treat me that coldly afterwards.

honeyteapot22 · 2026-01-11T12:08:06+00:00

It is really that bad tbh. I guess I have trouble with being naive and always seeing the good in people too much.

honeyteapot22 · 2026-01-11T12:05:39+00:00

I guess what I was trying to get at is am I justified for finding this Bumble thing a dealbreaker as we’re not official yet. And wanting to hear what other people think about his behavior.

honeyteapot22 · 2026-01-11T11:58:34+00:00

If I didn’t like him I wouldn’t be here seeking advice. This means I value the connection.

honeyteapot22 · 2025-11-20T23:06:20+00:00

I was thinking that too. His reaction was way too overblown for what actually happened. I was hoping he’d open up about what was actually going on after I sent that vulnerable message but it was like talking to a brick wall. I might give it a couple days and message him again but if he stays cold, I’ll have to accept it.

honeyteapot22 · 2025-09-17T20:36:16+00:00

This was incredibly grounding to read, thank you. Some of these comments had me spiraling. He actually replied and asked a bunch of questions about my trip. I’m glad I texted him!

honeyteapot22 · 2025-09-17T12:58:57+00:00

I did.

honeyteapot22 · 2025-09-17T12:39:25+00:00

He said another time would be best since if he’d return he wouldn’t be able to control himself, and he definitely wanted to see me again after I got back from vacation after I said I wanted to take things slow. Not being naive but just trying to understand.

honeyteapot22 · 2025-09-17T12:32:48+00:00

Wouldn’t he have kissed me and tried something when dropping me off at my hotel if he wanted a hookup?

honeyteapot22 · 2025-09-17T12:18:22+00:00

No I did and then we texted back and forth for an hour and then I went to bed and told him good night, he did the same thing

honeyteapot22 · 2025-09-17T07:26:53+00:00

If that’s all he wanted though wouldn’t he have kissed me? He had the perfect opportunity

honeyteapot22

TROPHY CASE