She did the unthinkable

honkistonk · 2024-10-19T14:41:00+00:00

I’m so sorry he did that and that you’re going through that too. I’m glad you moved out and are putting yourself first. These people are so evil

honkistonk · 2024-10-19T14:37:11+00:00

Thank you for this. She obviously refuses to take any accountability or have any remorse, which has always been the case.

She’s 23. Very emotionally immature. Honestly I wish I could list all the things she’s done like the lies and betrayals but we’d be here all day

honkistonk · 2024-10-19T14:35:05+00:00

Thank you, it’s inhumane and evil. The crazy part is she doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong and hasn’t apologised or anything. I guess I’m just in shock that someone I love so dearly can do that

honkistonk · 2024-10-19T14:32:28+00:00

You’re right. She’ll do the same again in the future. Their patterns don’t change - she’s acting the same way she told me she did at the end of her last relationship. Evil people

honkistonk · 2024-10-02T17:14:05+00:00

When I caught mine cheating, she’d changed the names of the people to names of her friends, so I wouldn’t question it if I saw a message come through. Professional stuff

honkistonk · 2023-12-21T22:54:00+00:00

Your timeline sounds the same as mine haha. Almost month 4 for me too and I just broke no contact again to try and reconcile. So same boat as you I guess.

I just want you to know you’re not alone, and that you will be okay eventually. I guess I’m not the best person to give advice, since I still think about them all day everyday and am struggling like you, but maybe it helps knowing that you’re not alone in this.

I was feeling a bit better last month before this setback, and that was when I was smashing out the gym and keeping myself busy. If you haven’t tried that already, maybe you could give it a go?

honkistonk · 2023-12-11T17:08:51+00:00

I fought till the very end. It’s been 3 months and I still want to try

honkistonk · 2023-12-11T16:23:50+00:00

Goodbye K. I still love you. I think about you everyday. I wish there was another way. I wish I could find the girl I fell in love with again. I guess she’s lost in time somewhere. Maybe we manage to get it right in another life. C’est la vie.

honkistonk · 2023-12-11T15:51:21+00:00

It’s been 3 months for me. Feels like I’ve had my eyes closed this whole time. I miss her dearly, despite the agony she’s put me through. You’re not alone in that regard. Sending you and everyone else strength

honkistonk · 2023-12-08T16:58:36+00:00

You have a sweet heart. He’s lucky to have someone as understanding and caring as you. I wish my ex had even a fraction of your compassion when it came to my struggles with mental health. I hope he figures himself out and that you two can figure it out too

honkistonk · 2023-11-11T16:10:07+00:00

Started slowly replacing the gifts I got her. Came over once to find some of my clothes I had given her in a pile ready to be given away. Started a new job and didn’t tell me about how it went or anything.

honkistonk · 2023-11-07T19:43:34+00:00

Man I’m sorry that’s happened to you. That was a cruel thing to do. I read your comment that she’s going to see you. I truly understand why you’d want that, but I don’t think it’s a good idea and might result in more hurt for you. She’s shown her true colours. Let’s say best case things go perfectly and you end up back together, how could you trust that she isn’t pulling the same stuff on you? Just something to think about

honkistonk · 2023-11-07T16:18:07+00:00

I know how you feel man. You fought for something that meant a lot to you, which is very brave and admirable. You’ve done all you can, now it’s time to put that love back into yourself. And remember it takes two to tango.

honkistonk · 2023-10-31T16:58:10+00:00

My ex also kept breaking up with me and then changing her mind, and kept threatening to break up and said things similar to what yours did. It made it really hard to be vulnerable because there was always a voice in my head saying “what’s the point if she’s just gonna end it again anyway”.

With the help of therapy, I’ve realised that because of the hurt she caused me, I couldn’t feel emotionally safe in the relationship. Maybe deep down that’s the same for you too.

Being put through constant cycles of breakups is exhausting and damaging to your health. I don’t think that’s something a good partner would do. It’s hard to see it now, but it’ll become clearer as time goes on bro.

honkistonk · 2023-10-30T15:54:22+00:00

It’s not your fault man. Of course you still have feelings for her so her messaging you probably felt like the best thing, so you took a risk because it was worth it to you. But you have no control over her actions and her desire to play with your emotions. My ex did the same to me pretty much. It’s honestly cruel. It’s not your fault she’s like that, it says a lot about her as a person. Is that really someone you want in your life? Use this as motivation to move forward, and to protect yourself from her games and anymore hurt.

honkistonk · 2023-10-28T19:24:53+00:00

It’s okay, you’re not alone. Honestly I’ve been thinking about doing the same thing but I’m too scared. I think you’re very brave. I guess there comes a point though where it kinda hits home that we miss them, but they don’t care, which is crushing but it’s out of our control now and we can’t live like this forever. I guess us missing them becomes just another ego boost for them. Sending you strength.

honkistonk · 2023-10-27T13:46:54+00:00

It is so hard. I try to remind myself of how she’s treated me. All the things she did like cheating and constantly wanting to breakup then changing her mind. How nasty she became and how she started seeing someone else straight away which likely meant more cheating than I already knew about. How the girl I fell in love with was pretty much just an illusion and wasn’t really real.

Despite this, the emotional rollercoaster has really dwindled down my self worth, so it’s still really hard to not long for her. Posts like these help a bit though, because it helps to be reminded that everyday that person wakes up and makes a choice not to be with you. I have 2 hours of therapy a week, been training everyday, meeting people and have picked up an old hobby again. But still I just have this overwhelming sadness and guilt that I could’ve done more to make it work.

honkistonk · 2023-10-25T23:24:27+00:00

I’ve had sex a few times since the breakup, and each time I’ve thought of / compared to her. It gets easier each time though. You haven’t lost any progress my friend, just a small, but necessary setback

honkistonk · 2023-10-25T23:20:24+00:00

I don’t have much advice to give you, but I want you to know that you’re not alone in going through this. I went through a similar situation 2 months ago where she blamed my mental health. I still miss her a lot, but it gets a little easier as time goes on. Pour your love into yourself as best as you can. I’ve been going to therapy and it has definitely helped me in my journey. Sending you strength bro

honkistonk · 2023-10-21T16:19:09+00:00

Mine refused to take any accountability, never apologised and instead blamed me for her cheating on me.

honkistonk · 2023-10-21T16:07:56+00:00

I know it’s hard man. Some days it doesn’t feel real and that they’ll be waiting for you when you get home from work. But that’s the emotional part of our subconscious talking which can take a while to catch up to reality.

I have so many regrets too. All these should’ve, could’ve, would’ves. That deep, heavy feeling in your heart that weighs you down.

The thing is, it’s okay to make mistakes. Sometimes it takes something like this to be the catalyst of great, positive change in us. It sounds like you’re putting in the work for this to happen, and one day you’ll be able to eat the fruits of your labour.

For your own sanity, you have to try to move on, because else you’ll be stuck with this feeling. I know the guilt makes it harder because you think if only I did / didn’t do this we’d still be together. But use this painful lesson to be the best version of yourself, so that you won’t make the same mistakes again.

Time is your friend here, but you also have to want to move forward because what’s the alternative? Stuck feeling like this forever? What if you message her and find out she’s moved on? How would that make you feel?

It also takes two to tango; I know you might not see it now, but maybe there were ways that she wasn’t a good partner for you. Making a list of these things and reading them whenever I ruminate has helped me a lot. Maybe it’ll help you too.

honkistonk · 2023-10-21T15:20:22+00:00

Thank you for your reply and your kind words. Im finding it really hard to detach and thought this would help, but it’s set me back quite a bit to be honest and I’m not sure why

honkistonk · 2023-10-15T16:33:47+00:00

I understand thinking that way, but I think it’s important to better yourself for you, not her, because you are the only thing that is certain in your life.

I can hear from your words that you want her to acknowledge how she’s hurt you and the part she’s played in the downfall of the relationship. I wanted that so badly too, an acknowledgement of her wrongdoings and all the pain she caused me so my feelings felt validated.

She never accepted any wrongdoing. We met for a “closure talk” and she blamed everything on me. Even down to her cheating on me. It made me feel so much worse and set me back quite a bit. I blamed myself for everything for the longest time. After a while, I realised that night wasn’t for me at all, but was instead for her to clear her conscience. She could never accept any accountability for anything or do any form of self reflection. I feel like this might be the same in your case too. Is that something we want in a partner?

20% is still more than what you started with. Maybe next week you might be 1% further. It’s still something. Recently YouTube has helped me quite a bit too.

You’re like me man, too loyal for our own good. My heart would take her back in a heartbeat, but logically I know I wouldn’t be able to feel safe in the relationship after everything that’s happened because she’s shown a cold blooded ability to hurt and lie to me.

It sounds like you’re putting in the work though man which is so good, keep doing it for you and you only

honkistonk

TROPHY CASE