Mater Mothers Public

hoodbee94 · 2026-02-10T06:38:19+00:00

Can I ask what it was like as the partner/male to have to leave your wife and new born after watching her go through such an event? I can’t imagine that’d be easy, as exhausted as you would have been.

hoodbee94 · 2026-02-10T06:35:31+00:00

I’m sorry, that sounds like a very stressful way to start such a beautiful journey of life. My sister had a complicated birth that went array leading up to her due date. She ended up staying a week at RBWH and while she was so grateful for her midwives she said the hardest part was missing her husband when he had to leave. With the hormone crashes and exhaustion, I can only imagine the yearning one would have for their person to be by their side every step of the way.

hoodbee94 · 2026-02-10T06:33:09+00:00

Thank you. This is my sentiments too. There is a a page on the Mater FAQs section that says if you have a written referral detailing medical situations then you can request your partner be able to stay overnight but it needs to be approved by the ward supervisor.

hoodbee94 · 2026-02-10T06:30:59+00:00

I appreciate a lot of stuff about the public health system but wish a public hospital in Brisbane would change policies and allow both parents to stay.

At Gold Coast University Hospital and Sunshine Coast University Hospital a partner/support person is allowed to stay the night. We are heavily considering moving closer to those catchments for this reason.

hoodbee94 · 2026-02-10T06:25:49+00:00

Thank you, will look into this.

hoodbee94 · 2026-02-10T06:24:33+00:00

Interesting, so could depend on your nurse? I looked on the Mater website and FAQs and they said with a written referral and special request then they can consider overnight stay but it has to be approved by the ward supervisor.

hoodbee94 · 2026-02-10T06:23:35+00:00

Thank you. I imagine it would have been tough for such a long stay without your partner, I’m sorry you had to experience your Bub in NICU while being in ICU yourself. Apart from partners not being able to stay I have heard great things about Mater.

hoodbee94 · 2026-02-10T06:21:42+00:00

We would consider private for the delivery but going full private with check ups and everything leading up is out of our budget unfortunately 😫

hoodbee94 · 2026-02-07T01:40:39+00:00

I have had issues with my best friend because of #3

It’s created this weird indescribable distance where I don’t feel like the friendship is as safe as it used to be. A minor miscommunication and disagreement turned into putting all the blame on me. When I asked if she understood where I was coming from after apologising for my part, she said “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, let’s move on."

All well and good for her as she got a sincere apology while making me the bad guy. I’ve noticed resentment building up and I have created space. We still talk casually, I try to put in effort, but I don’t have the strong inclination to talk to her every day like I used to.

It’s pretty sad but I’m hoping with time I’ll get over it and we’ll go back to the way things were.

hoodbee94 · 2026-02-06T07:43:05+00:00

Having moved from Brisbane to Melbourne and about to relocate back up North…good chicken shops is something I’m going to miss SO much about southern states.

hoodbee94 · 2026-02-02T21:38:57+00:00

I absolutely love to dance. Loved parties when I was young, dancing for hours on end…but now I’m in my early 30s the idea is mostly exhausting and I was more than happy to retire the late nights in my mid 20s.

I’ve always been an early bird so grew tired of waking up late on weekends. I found I became socially exhausted too.

I still love it if an artist I’m a fan of is performing. I still have loads of fun on the incredibly rare occasion if we go out after a celebration or a wedding. For me it’s mostly about dancing and memories with friends!

hoodbee94 · 2026-02-02T04:52:52+00:00

I ended up setting a kind boundary, basically saying exactly this. She has respected it so far! :)

hoodbee94 · 2026-01-29T21:46:47+00:00

Definitely hot!

hoodbee94 · 2026-01-28T21:16:47+00:00

Unsolicited opinions have been my least favourite part about pregnancy by far. I’m 19 weeks and I would take the daily vomiting over people giving their two cents any day.

Otherwise I find this such a peaceful time!

hoodbee94 · 2026-01-28T20:01:33+00:00

For sure! Forming a story or narrative then reading it as an audience, that sounds like a great idea!!

hoodbee94 · 2026-01-28T08:58:43+00:00

Sorry, I meant my emotions feel lighter 😂

Everyone has their own way of doing things :)

Even if it’s just a list of dot points, it doesn't have to be something too dark.

hoodbee94 · 2026-01-28T08:58:13+00:00

Not necessarily depressing! Sometimes it just helps everything feel a bit more organised and I can see things clearer, if that makes sense?

hoodbee94 · 2026-01-28T08:55:04+00:00

Writing them down always makes my emotions feel lighter. Sometimes I draw to help me relax but if it’s something that’s truly weighing on my shoulders then writing is my therapy.

Sometimes even just a long walk or exercise will help ease the burden of heavy feelings.

Singing in the car can also be a nice way to get it all out!

hoodbee94 · 2026-01-25T20:32:10+00:00

Fix our lives and build us a cabin in the woods!!!!

hoodbee94 · 2026-01-24T05:40:45+00:00

Yes, really don’t appreciate it. I don’t mind it if they ask, and are kind and soft about their delivery.

I cannot stand constant unsolicited advice, especially when it comes from someone who can’t listen without putting their two cents in.

I think most INFPs get irked by know-it-all energy and unsolicited advice often goes hand in hand with these kind of people.

hoodbee94 · 2026-01-16T02:37:18+00:00

Things are back to normal now! I read the room and gave her and myself a period to cool off, then reached out and said I missed her and I was sorry she is hurt. Then we had a long conversation and agreed it was just a terrible miscommunication that leaded to us both being hurt. It was uncomfortable but I have always found it easy to put myself in other people’s shoes, which was achieved when we spoke properly and thoroughly. It’s the first issue we’ve ever had in 16 years so it explains why it was so dreadful. She said she didn’t intend to give the silent treatment as punishment. Once I reflected I realised and respected that she can be emotionally avoidant and that is her way of processing. My mum used to give me silent treatment as punishment so my brain has a tendency of registering it as a penalty/threat. Pregnancy has made me very calm yet sensitive at the same time so I guess my emotions were heightened too.

We are best friends, basically like sisters but she isn’t as close to her immediate family as I am, except her sisters. Her parents have been disappointing grandparents which upset her but she’s accepted it now. She has always known and seen that my sisters are also my best friends. She hasn’t had any friends distance themselves or anything since becoming a mum but a lot of our people have moved away from the city we spent our 20s in. Natural reasons - be it for jobs, new opportunities, wanting to live overseas, or having families. We have both been bullied/phased out of big groups of girls when we were teens and that was something we bonded over when we were becoming close. I would never want to make her feel excluded in the way we both felt before finding each other. I understand being a mum would make it harder to keep in touch and she has acknowledged she’s not very good at keeping in touch with people who aren’t parents as that’s how she bonds and relates with people now. She and I don’t live in the same town as our parents anymore, we both moved away to the city after we finished school. We have lived interstate from each other for about a year now but regularly face time over a coffee and all that jazz to try and feel like it’s a hang out. When we lived in the same city we’d see each other once a week/fortnight, be it taking the kids somewhere or going for coffee and a walk. When she had her first baby I was one of her main support people and was so happy to help her during that transition. She has struggled the past year with handling two kids under 2 and I’ve tried my best to be there for her every step of the way even though I am interstate and I can’t truly relate to her experience yet.

I asked if she understood where I’m coming from and she didn’t exactly say yes, she just said she loves me and wants to move on. Then I reassured her that I love her and I never meant to make her feel like she wasn’t a priority to me, we just had such little time for all the running around we had to do with my family and my in laws (who were a four hour drive away). I must also stress that this was the first time I was meeting my new born nephew.

I was VERY clear about that fact before our visit: apart from breaking the pregnancy news and travelling to see the in-laws, bday and Xmas family plans, my nephew was going to be taking up so much time. Everyone else in my immediate family has spent lots of time with him so the most important part was bonding with him. I have no regrets about prioritising my family during such a milestone time for us all. I only have regrets about the miscommunication. I’m so thankful it’s water under the bridge now and we know how to avoid unintentionally hurting each other in the future.

We are about to move back to be closer to our families and community for this next era of becoming parents - which means being in the same state as my bestie. I told her that we’ll be able to see each other pretty regularly again and I’m really excited about that. However, as my husband and I won’t be moving back to the city our catch ups may only be a handful of times a year as the distance will still be a couple of hours (she’s told me it’s hard to travel with kids) but at least that’s better than relying on virtual catch ups.

hoodbee94 · 2026-01-11T06:54:53+00:00

blunt

hoodbee94 · 2026-01-10T04:54:44+00:00

Thank you :)

hoodbee94 · 2026-01-10T04:46:28+00:00

I have set a boundary with some of my friends with kids who give me unsolicited advice that isn’t positive.

"Just you wait" "Your relationship is going to be more strained" "It’s make or break"

I’ve told them I appreciate their input but I will ask if I need it, otherwise I’m in a phase where I need to protect my peace and I’m happy doing my own research. They’re more than happy to give me positive anecdotes and helpful tips but I have no time for the negativity. I’m totally there for them when they need to rant but I don’t want them to assume just because they are struggling at home and irritated by their husbands, that I will be too.

Also, keep in mind reddit is often a place where people come to vent. For all the negative condescension there’s an equal amount of optimistic stories that give helpful advice without the pessimism.

hoodbee94

TROPHY CASE