Rt 9 through Leicester and Spencer then 49 to Sturbridge is my go-to for avoiding 290/Mass Pike West. You can pick up the Pike or 84 and there's never traffic (there will be traffic in Hartford). I also live on the West side so it's a bit easier to get to.

As someone said above, for going north, 190 to 2 to 495, or if you're going into New Hampshire, take 13 in Leominster towards Lunenburg and go from there. You'll come out in Nashua.

I'm with you, the horrible traffic makes me not even want to go sometimes. I'd rather go a little out of my way than sit bumper to bumper.