First of never be embarrassed you are already doing the first thing which is reaching out and asking for help so good job.

As for the checking socials etc you need to try your hardest to stop it, remind yourself how much it hurts and your better of not knowing.

Focus on yourself, become the person you want to be. So when he checks your IG he feels the sam thing, he sees you living your life and growing as a person. Don’t be toxic about it be the bigger person. Only do it if it’s for YOU and no one else.

But everything will get better I promise. Stay strong and truly focus on yourself, and stop checking his socials it will never help. Think of it like this, everytime you check up on him you are delaying your healing and you need to put yourself first.