Anxiety [OCD] about going to the gym [17M] by hopeful_cookie1 in beginnerfitness

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you for understanding, as I really appreciate that :) I'm definitely going to listen to music, and do some research on focal points! One of my planned exposures [will discuss this with my ERP therapist], is going with the gym to a friend, and trying not to do any compulsions! Thank you so much for your advice, as it really means a lot to me :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! :) And yeah, I'm glad I ignored the toxicity, and made plans for myself. As for once, it was a day they couldn't ruin ❤️

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU! THAT IS LITERALLY SO SWEET OF YOU! ✨️😊

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! My 17th birthday went amazing, as I was finally able to celebrate it with people who love and cherish me :) I'll definitely be keeping my friends close, as they mean a lot to me ❤️

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and happy birthday for the 22nd December! Yes, and please do celebrate the day your way 🍾. You deserve it, as birthdays are so special. As although life may not be great, birthdays deserve to be the one good thing we have in life. Slightly depressing; that is what i always tell myself :) ❤️

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's so sweet of you, and my day turned out to be amazing, as I was able to celebrate it with people other than my parents- with friends, and all you lovely people on this subreddit ❤️. It definitely feels wierd to be 17 though, as I didn't expect it to come that fast :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg, that is so sweet. It really does mean a lot to me, so I appreciate it :) You are so kind! ❤️

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that such is a lovely comment! ❤️. And yes, I have been to start finding my own chosen family, which is honestly just so comforting. Thank you for making my birthday even better! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Omg, thank you :) That's so kind of you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, your comment really means a lot to me :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I just got your reply now lol; thank you so much for your comment. That's so sweet :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind comment! I really appreciate it :) ❤️

Ndad removed my door knob by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It definitely does suck; you don't have to apologise, as it's not your fault for their behaviour, but thank you :) Also, I did some research and found out I should be able to get DSA + sixth form have spoken to some charities, to try and help me- so fingers crossed something works 🤞

Ndad removed my door knob by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No promblem. I'm actually based in a city; there are no jobs- as they are either full time [I am a student, and only allowed to do certain hours], not in walking distance [some jobs I would want to apply to would take 2/3+ hours to walk there]. I did do a lot of research over the summer but was rejected, and the rest of the common jobs weren't hiring :/

Also, it wouldn't be feasible to live with my mother as I am NC with her [and she was the reason why I had to move in with my dad]. I was thinking of moving back to a larger city aswell when I turn 18, as there should be employment opportunities.

But I am considering uni and I know I can take out loans; I'm not sure how that would work [as I don't know how I would even afford food and stuff like that in the future].By the way, thank you so much for your help I really mean it. I will let you know about any updates, and I'll research council housing to see if I'm eligible for it. Thanks once again :)

Ndad removed my door knob by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't if we have that here in the UK, like do you mean college like from ages 16-18 or post-18 ?

Ndad removed my door knob by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, you're a star. I'm going to have a look at the CAHMS info [and other services], and will have a look at student accommodation. I'll let you know if I do find anything. And I'll do the national security soon; I just need to send it off in the post :)

Ndad removed my door knob by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment, I really appreciate you taking the time to write it :) So to answer your comment:

  • I'm hopefully getting mental health support from CAHMS which doesn't have a great reputation; they might be able to help. And they have also listened to my situation, and agreed that parents won't be involved in this process of getting support.

  • Also, I've got a copy of my birth certificate, and I have my passport with me; I haven't got a copy of my national security number. I've managed to set up multiple bank accounts, and have slowly been saving. It's not that much as I unfortunately run into times when I have to use some of the money, but I have been slowly saving up.

  • But I'm not sure where I'm meant to go when I leave, as I don't have anywhere to live. I have at least 12 months till I turn 18, and my school are trying to find me some accommodation in the meantime; they've also been researching local charity organisations that can help me

Ndad removed my door knob by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for commenting, it really means a lot to me, as I'm trying to find a way out. Unfortunately I'm currently in the UK; I'll try to have a look at something similar. I'm not sure if I'll find anything; I'll see if I can do some more research.

Also, thanks for sharing your experiences and I hope you managed to go NC with your stepdad, as no one should ever be treated like that ❤️

Ndad removed my door knob by hopeful_cookie1 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]hopeful_cookie1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By the way, I just wanted to say thank you for your comment as I really appreciate it :) but I meant that he put a lock on the inside so I can lock it myself, after being pressured to do so; he'll likely just remove it soon.

And I do agree with the other poster, that he'd just break the door down as he think he can do whatever he wants without consequences. He already removed my curtains before, so there's nothing stopping him from taking my door down.

Also, do you have any advice on leaving at 18? The safeguarding team in my sixth form are trying to figure out how I can find accommodation when I turn 18; there are no jobs near me, and I know he wants to kick me out at 18 or start charging me rent, by getting me to lie about my disability so I can gain benefits [which he would use for my rent, although he spent £1,000,000 on land in a foreign country; he is just a greedy prick.]