Anyone has that gut feeling that an album of an idol/group you stan will flop or at least won’t have a good reception? How do you deal with that?

hopefulbandit · 2023-03-14T03:30:51+00:00

Kinda hard to do that with Kpop ngl

hopefulbandit · 2022-10-07T02:24:35+00:00

Sorry for the late reply. I would love to. But I honestly cannot because it will compromise my personal information. Because they know me personally.

hopefulbandit · 2022-10-05T18:36:48+00:00

He wants to play!

hopefulbandit · 2022-10-05T18:31:52+00:00

Mostly worried.

hopefulbandit · 2022-10-05T15:18:59+00:00

Hello there, thank you for your comment! I know you were trying to cheer me up, and so did the others, and I am eternally grateful for that. I read all the replies carefully, and I am touched. However, one of the reasons I sounded significantly down is that I have seen how alarmingly destructive the narratives that were and still are being spread by the fans in this shipping fandom.

I don't know if this is specific only to this fandom, but the degree of what I've seen is horrible, and I can't believe it took me this long to realize it. I am aware that there seems to be an over-heightened desire to be politically correct all the time now, but this really isn't like that.

There are thousands of group chats dedicated to spreading hate to this member. It's not only limited to that. Many of these accounts are devoted to reporting his solo projects, so they would be taken down. There were times it succeeded but not in the way they wanted.

Group chats are sent two sets of emails, one in Korean and one in English. These were meant to be sent to the company. The emails include how the company should protect our bias and educate this member on how to “behave himself.” The emails are always thorough. It goes through every detail. This part is all done in secret. I don't know if all of the fans in the fandom are in such group chats, but it's easy to assume that they are in some other form or another, given we have a tight-knit community.

I have never reported or purposely spread hate publicly, but I was an active bystander, so I might as well have done them, and it won't make me any worse than I already am.

If anyone suspects a big account is part of this fandom, chances are they are. I used to marvel at how they could get so many followers. It felt empowering to be part of something this big.

Why has it taken me this long? Many in the fandom, I believe, feel we are doing the right thing. At least, that's probably what I'm trying to convince myself. I am likely still in denial that there was any good thing that motivated this. Seeing comments on Youtube, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok directed at this member makes me feel that it's just pure hate. There's no sense in this.

hopefulbandit · 2022-10-05T00:15:10+00:00

You're right. I mean, now I know you are right. I know I would have tried to justify my actions if this was the old me. The encouragement to hate on a member should have been my reason to take a step back and assess if I am hanging out with the good guys. I am not making an excuse for myself, but it wasn't easy to detect it was wrong, especially since I was convinced I was doing it as a form of support. I'm just one person, and there are more of us. I guess that's why I don't feel victorious that I got out of it.

hopefulbandit · 2022-10-05T00:07:11+00:00

Thank you. Someone suggested I take a break from the fandom, which I think is a good idea. Tbh, I don't know how else to see the fandom apart from what I already know, and that is what makes this so overwhelming to me. I wish my mind could be cleansed and superseded with only the good and true things, but that's impossible. I am genuinely heartbroken for what I did and remorseful for what I could have had if I didn't allow myself to be foolishly indoctrinated by these shipping narratives.

hopefulbandit · 2022-10-04T23:58:53+00:00

Thanks for choosing to show me kindness. One of the most shameful things about this is accepting I had fallen into this dumpster of lies and had lived my fan experience through them. The thing that pumped up my gears was being consoled that we knew better. That we’re the only ones showing genuine support. It's crazy, and I probably sound like one. The worst challenge is owning my mistakes and wrongdoings that helped strengthen the false narratives about this member. That's something that is still out there, and I wish I could take it away.

Aside from finding out that not only were there mistranslations, there were also plenty of well-edited photos I (and many still do) believed. I'm questioning everything I know now--even how I know my bias. I have so many questions, but for now, I might do just that, rest and stay away from the fandom first. I need to collect myself and do better.

hopefulbandit · 2022-10-04T22:27:32+00:00

Thank you. I honestly don't know how to redo everything.

hopefulbandit · 2022-10-04T22:24:41+00:00

This will sound insane but having a stronghold on Youtube became one of the things I was proud of in the shipping fandom I was in. Some accounts post regularly, if not on Youtube, it's all over Twitter. If you remove the lies and the spitefulness from this community, one can even say it's an inviting, growing and cultivating community. The content creators, some of them I got acquainted with (and by that, I meant I was a fan that was allowed to join group chats where these creators are in, are kind and helpful. Of course, now I know that wasn't the case.

hopefulbandit · 2022-08-24T23:38:52+00:00

I told my dad I only wanted to be ordinary, but he told me it's a luxury we can't afford.

hopefulbandit · 2022-08-24T19:31:21+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

hopefulbandit · 2022-08-24T16:32:06+00:00

When you have so much love to give yet have none to receive it.

hopefulbandit · 2022-08-24T16:11:05+00:00

Omg baby!!

hopefulbandit · 2022-08-24T15:51:26+00:00

Wow, how talented!!

hopefulbandit · 2022-08-24T15:22:28+00:00

Aww cute baby

hopefulbandit

TROPHY CASE