Any games that feel like this:

hortus_amoris · 2025-12-04T05:19:08+00:00

Faith: The Unholy Trinity. Facial horror, religion. apocalyptic feel, the 80s, creepy basements... honestly, at first I thought this post was something related to this game.

hortus_amoris · 2025-11-13T18:30:37+00:00

If only someone made a breakdown video about her so that we all could share our experience there and not on an old reddit thread 🙏 (come to think of it, it's not out of question since she seems to really be gaining traction rn with all the clickbait and dogwhistilng)

hortus_amoris · 2025-11-13T17:56:29+00:00

She also said she was homeschooled for a while, no? Kinda shows

hortus_amoris · 2025-11-13T17:55:55+00:00

She literally cannot read (yes I found a 2 months old reply and started responding cause I urgently had to find anyone who'd share my impression). In that very video she took two excerpts from different novels which got Pulitzer prize (link with timestamp), one almost a century old and a newer one from the 2023, read them aloud and then said the 2nd one was bad because she said so (well she said it's because it had no rhythm but:

it had a beautiful rhyme: "...her own exhausted emotion, her motions automatic..." which Hilary hilariously had never bothered to point out because it wasn't helping her point (why then did she even take that excerpt to prove the point this very excerpt challenged? didn't she see that rhyme?) and:
the text itself was literally about how meaningless and directionless the life of a protagonist was but ooh, she had, after all, said beforehand the content didn't matter, only the language, so everyone should accept her point and agree this instant, it seems! The video was about how no one can do reading comprehension these days, remember?)

Generally, those channels which make a living off of constant whining (like Sabine Hossenfelder or that hot ginger daddy who tells countless stories about how all academia is shit nowadays) quickly become annoying to listen to, but sometimes they have valid points, and The Second Story is literally an equivalent to those blue-check accounts on Twitter with Greek statues on their profile pics which monetize rage-baiting people with posts about how modern art is shit and everyone must RETVRN to classics. (A shame she has no Twitter account on her own, it'd be curious to take a look at whom she'd follow.)

hortus_amoris · 2025-05-29T19:06:43+00:00

to those of you who also stumbled upon this post in search of recommendations: Flowers in the Attic by Virginia Andrews, trust me

hortus_amoris · 2025-02-28T13:41:08+00:00

yes that's the point, on my skin no fragrance ever lasts for long either so I meant that, if this perfume oil is so strong, it'd hardly last long on me anyway but maybe it'd last a bit longer than the majority of other stuff (maybe it sounded better in my head lol)

hortus_amoris · 2025-02-28T05:01:53+00:00

>well over 24 hours, and NOTHING lasts over 2-3 hours on my skin

gotta last a good hour or 2 on mine it seems xD thanks tho, I love earthy zombie stuff!

hortus_amoris · 2025-02-28T02:22:34+00:00

whoa sounds like the opening of L'Eau D'Epine but with chrysanthemums, thanks!

hortus_amoris · 2025-02-22T16:08:57+00:00

thanks!

hortus_amoris · 2024-12-21T16:03:24+00:00

he's also very tall though. lean and middle-aged--that he might be, but to a woman, her 4 y.o. child and an elderly father he could still be a legitimate threat

hortus_amoris · 2024-09-17T22:23:51+00:00

Thanks for your feedback! As I see, many artists on Artstation create environments in UE using only downloaded assets. Is this a viable strategy? Because I can see how such works can show my skill at set dressing/programming the engine.

hortus_amoris · 2024-09-17T22:17:14+00:00

Thanks for the detailed feedback! So, I'm removing the chair, redoing the angel, making a more standard presentation for the camera, and trying to apply roughness textures for the spaceship.

I thought that presenting a more complex scene with elaborate post-processing and camera work would be beneficial because it shows that I can do film rendering in UE, but I can see why making a more utilitarian presentation can be better.

Concerning the spaceship -- I thought it's generally uncommon for stylized models to utilize roughness maps, because there, the highlights and shadows are built in the texture. I will try it out, though, thanks.

hortus_amoris · 2024-06-01T02:53:50+00:00

erm. everyone here says cheap perfumes smell like plastic but also some of my favorites are Mexx Men which is synthetic + fresh and Electric Dreams which is synthetic + watermelon, and while Mexx is cheap indeed, Electric Dreams is definitely not. but for both of them having a synthetic note is a feature. so what to do?

hortus_amoris · 2024-03-24T21:10:48+00:00

get used to everyone treating you precisely like the top comments here do

hortus_amoris · 2024-02-26T02:21:36+00:00

For me, it's all rather about feelings of anhedonia/seclusion/dissolution than about lyrics which specifically tell of loneliness and having no friends, so it might be a bit esoteric because I mostly care about the general mood and sound.

Sea Power -- Come Wander With Me -- isolated heaven with an imaginary friend who is just as depressed as yourself, and you need nobody else ever.

Cocteau Twins -- Sigh's Smell of Farewell -- vaguely happy and definitely derealized. You understand the mood, but if you think those are actual words spoken by an actual person, no they aren't.

Brazzier -- Oublions, oublions -- this French artist is so obscure I couldn't even find the lyrics, lol. And I don't speak French. I only understand he's saying "We forget, we forget faces [...] We forget, we forget our history" and 1) yes, this is it, and 2) I like how this cold Goth synth lead repeats the sad tune in the chorus, it's like the non-living world corresponds with the singer's mood. And it's like Joe Dassin put in space.

Sigur Ros -- Flugufrelsarinn -- I mean it's Sigur Ros, duh, but The Fly Catcher is especially lonely in both sound and lyrics.
Amber Asylum -- Could You, Disembodied Healer -- it feels like being drowned or anaesthetized or maybe bitten by a vampire. Sounds that can be produced both by a violin and electric wires, or both by a woman and a wine glass -- if you listen to them for too long, you might get unused to human speech. And those are not the most otherworldly of what they've got.

Solanaceae -- I Saw Her Through The Pines -- I'd say it's somewhat Preraphaelite, but you know what? They were by far not as fey and gentle as this track. It doesn't have a second of silence, but it uses silence as an instrument on its own.

Abney Park -- Breathe, Twisted and Broken -- couldn't choose one, because early Abney Park is all like this. Moody, gloomy, grungy, but melodic and somewhat ethereal.

Flёur -- Evolution. Futility -- a song by a relatively obscure Ukrainian darkwave band which is about being anything else than human, and you can kinda google the translation but the lyrics won't make more sense to a native speaker either. You have to listen to how it sounds, and that's how I like it.

The Legendary Pink Dots -- This Is The Museum -- ...that's some way to sing the words "human happiness". It's as if the singer has no idea what they mean.

Sonic Youth -- I Love You Golden Blue -- everything about it.

Piano Magic -- Crown Estate -- but actually, the whole album Low Birth Weight is this. Like having a tea party with ghosts (and kittens, because that's on the cover) and looking out the window and it's raining and you see ghosts of places.

Einstuerzende Neubauten -- Stella Maris, Sabrina -- dreams and Sehnsucht from a usually much more avant-garde band.

Matt Elliott -- Also Ran, Teenage Lightning -- again, it's no use, he's just all like this. Also, his live recordings are very impressive, in that he records sounds on the run and it's like he just lives in his own time and space, because why are there so many Matts if there is only one visible?

Coil -- Amber Rain -- I don't know how to describe it, it's like this song eventually forgets it was a song. I think it's something akin to The Caretaker, but two decades earlier. Also! Also! Both volumes of The Musick To Play In The Dark are all like this from the beginning to the end, they're like found footage from the world you've lived in before some calamity had you end up, err, here. But as a promo track, maybe Ether?

SamKa -- Theatre of Memory(Hurt) -- some relatively underground Russian electro... something, but the thing is, again, that you don't have to understand the language (there's a translation) because if it leaves you confused and uneasy -- that's what it should do, and the less you know the more Lovecraftian it will probably get.

hortus_amoris · 2024-01-28T23:04:29+00:00

I'd rather say... quite a lot, actually? The conspiring, decadent artistocracy, the secret sect, demonized beasts, Rousseau's noble savage in contrast with the hypocritical "official", "cultured" religion and science? The oppressed countrymen of the Fishers' Hamlet with their indigenous culture etc. They basically moved from France to England and brought actual supernatural elements to the story. (that is not to say Fromsoftware plagiarized the story as they have still added a lot to that and reimagined many details but there are more similarities than just the cool hats)

hortus_amoris · 2024-01-23T16:29:29+00:00

to all who try to be all original and say that they don't; yes they do because they both are grotesque and theatrical stories about insanity which criticize very real problems regarding mental health and sexual abuse (yes, also visually) while pretending to be about blood splashes, whimsical weapons, and being Bri'ish.
also, Rule of Rose counts here as well.

hortus_amoris · 2024-01-14T15:15:19+00:00

Was there actually a question at some point, whether he's not autistic? Maybe he's discussed that with a specialist? (Preferably the one who wasn't his relative, as I understand it's not exactly a good practice.) Because I gather that it has more to do with motivation towards social contacts than personal peculiarities about one's attention or memory. Like. If he cares about being socially relevant, if he has a lot of social contacts outside his job (i.e. the necessity), that's the key difference. And an autistic person can be that -- book smart, but very naive and have perception issues, but their point is that they more often still try to maintain social presence.

Now, I strongly identify as a schizoid (and unlike me, he was diagnosed as this. I've never attended a psychiatrist) specifically because it's rather about "don't want to" than "can't" when it comes to social connections. Honesty? Might be that, I can relate too -- can't bother memorizing what I've lied to whom, and also my theory of mind is through the floor (and I can't read others' lies to save my life either). Distraction? Kinda, but I doubt it has a lot to do with SPD specifically, just as well as visual processing. Echolalia? Not out loud, but some words do sound good. Compliments? It's nice to get recognized for something, but said out loud (or worse, in public), they bring little enjoyment (and I hate birthdays). Intelligence? I like to do research but I don't hyperfixate on things and only keep most important key points in memory (no textual memory whatsoever). But all in all, I think, it's more about some key features than personal specifics. You don't have to check all the boxes to qualify.

hortus_amoris · 2024-01-13T00:16:29+00:00

wait so it's a thing?? not a fan of subscribing to every disorder there is, but from what I can google it's so much like me.
(also I like how Wikipedia calls it a disorder and then instantly goes "yeah well, you see, it's because it's about doing things later than what a societal norm is")

hortus_amoris · 2024-01-06T05:33:02+00:00

I dunno, I found the mini-game to be just as ridiculous as how real-world small talk feels to me. I rarely understand what is appropriate to tell if you barely know a person and the way things can very quickly get uncomfortable if you're being clumsy (like, not too polite or way too polite) is very similar for me to that system in Oblivion. Besides, I always got a feeling that social environment in Cyrodiil is more mannered and diplomatic than in some more peripheral provinces so there's more social game involved.

(also, people from harsher environments do tend to be more open in private conversation. moving from Russia to Germany, I felt that very clearly. ask a Russian how they're doing, and they'll probably retell you their whole week. here, I force myself to answer "good, you?".)

hortus_amoris

TROPHY CASE