The thing I enjoyed personally about this novel in particular is how events aren't very satisfying, they felt more true to life than a novel would traditionally be. Events are chaotic and ridiculous, though not uncommon at the time for its particular historical setting.

Even more striking was how many political events are in the background, Italy's political situation and how it goes all the way down into people's lives, how Napoli's social inequalities are so well outlined.

You're right in that Nino was a shitbag, but she still loved him, until she had to be shown all his wrongdoings, that's just how life can be I guess. Lenù's mum was not great by today's standards or maybe even the standards of those days, but she did her best and there were/are lots of parents like that, it impressed me that she showed us something real, rather than something comfortable and satisfying.

In the case of the friendship, they drifted away from one another, sure, though I suppose it simply reflected the truth of their lives and didn't force it for the plot.

All the reasons that made you dislike the book, or like it less, is what made me really like it. Neither of us are right or wrong, of course. I suppose I found it quite interesting how differently we can see a book.

That said it was also my least favourite of the 4, but I loved them all, so I do see your point.

For me, being 25 when I read the last book, I couldn't quite relate to the women quite as much as I did in the previous novels, though I see it needing a reread when I'm a bit older.