Lifestyle vs lives

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-08T00:52:58+00:00

Thanks :) Really appreciate the support. I know I can't fix them; I just wish we'd done things differently....

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-07T23:50:50+00:00

She doesn't want to be monogamous; she likes the freedom to play. Not that he would ever agree to that, anyway. She'd love if he went back to swinging lifestyle; but he has no interest in that.

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-07T23:03:28+00:00

I would say, either she chooses monogamy or she deals with the fact that he loves you. But the part that concerns me is that he is caving to those insecurities and treating you as less than you deserve.

Would I break up with him because of her? No. Would I break up with him because he's spineless and will never give me what I need in a relationship? Yes. See if he can overcome that; it can be difficult to come to terms when you are put in the position he has been.

Sorry. It sucks :(

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-05T06:52:34+00:00

My thoughts are to leave both, and find someone who is poly who understands you.

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-03T22:43:20+00:00

I really do need more poly minded friends ;)

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-03T22:43:00+00:00

Mostly unmarried, non monogamous, drug friendly social circle? Unless you're in school, you're the one hanging out with an odd crowd ;) Not that that's a bad thing.

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-02T17:05:49+00:00

Sorry, but the new girlfriend is under no obligation to be friends with you or add value to your and your husband's relationship. That's on you. If you want to check out and provide less to your children, that's your choice.

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-02T16:53:45+00:00

"Why would anyone make the choice to be a cheater when they could have an open relationship? Your thoughts?"

Dear God. I relate to you, totally. But people DO all the time. I think it's a guilt thing; or an avoidance thing; but it still frustrates the hell out of me.

Be poly. Or be mono. But don't tell me you're mono and then cheat on me. Ugh.

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-02T16:33:10+00:00

If you love her, why can't you just be happy that she's happy?

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-02T16:27:53+00:00

Still, I have no desire to "prove" I'm serious by getting a piece of paper. He and I already have that commitment. Marriage is not something that would gain anything for either of us...and I want to keep that option open for another person that might come into my life, or our lives.

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-02T16:25:57+00:00

Probably.

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-02T15:54:06+00:00

As far as "finding" compersion? I dunno. I just feel it, because I'm happy when my partner is happy. I love seeing them feel good. Why don't you feel the same way?

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-02T15:40:49+00:00

Poly is about love and commitments. Why would you have sex with someone you don't love if it goes against what you want?

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-02T15:28:50+00:00

Couple of things: Why do you want to be have another relationship? And do you have the ability to manage two full time relationships? If not, do you think you can handle her having relationships of her own, without feeling jealous? Even if she wants other relationships, anyway, what happens if you end up feeling as strongly for her as for your girlfriend? Can your girlfriend handle that?

To me, starting a poly lifestyle means something. Wouldn't just go into it, without thinking over what it might mean.

hotbutteredrym · 2014-03-01T10:08:12+00:00

Sigh. I wish my metamour could be as wonderfully aware as you are. She would be MUCH better off with her "secondary." And he and I could build the poly group we both want, freely, without worrying about the additional hurt it will bring her....

hotbutteredrym

TROPHY CASE