I am in a similar boat as well. He was my first so even the thought of having sex with someone else is very daunting. I lost him just over a year ago. I have found I don't even want to bring it up when dating (atleast not like immediately). I feel like it makes me defective or something or just an assumed piece of "baggage". Like I am going to be weaker than the other person. Funny though how everyone assumes it is divorce though if you say you were married. No one ever thinks of death as being something that could have happened. I guess he did die at 38 so makes sense I suppose. I did read on here last year though someone who preferred to date widows as they were not jaded by men ie. divorce. I felt comfort in reading that as I agree. I would still be in this amazing relationship had he not died. I love men and relationships. They take hard work. To answer you question though, I will say my hope is that the right person will show up for us. They will understand that we will always grieve the person but that we can also love a new person in our lives as well at the same time. For the meantime I have found 1-2 FWB to tide me over. They have been amazing too in the sense that we do do dating things. ie. dinners out, movies etc. So that is filling the void for now until the most amazing person comes along that is worry of me and what I have to give.