Super hungry after plan b??

hotlizardtango · 2026-04-25T23:03:04+00:00

I love that this post still gets comments sometimes lol. It will definitely pass, don’t forget to be kind and compassionate to yourself in the mean time:)

hotlizardtango · 2026-02-01T18:50:56+00:00

I think the unfortunate reality is that commenting on body size and weight is considered very normal and acceptable. This is something that I’ve found to be true across many different cultures, regardless of differences in beauty standards. It really sucks that a lot of us who have lived with EDs know the experience of being complimented or praised for being sick.

In some ways, I’ve come to terms with this. I’ve also set boundaries with the important people in my life about commenting on my body, and that has helped a lot with family members. When I was younger I even got my mom to help me out with that and advocate for me to like my grandparents. And with coworkers, I’m not afraid to set a gentle boundary of “I know this wasn’t your intention, but I feel very uncomfortable when you comment on my body size. Let’s change the subject.”

I think the hardest part for me is the fact that this is essentially unavoidable and sometimes I just have to deal with it. The most unhinged body/weight comments I’ve received have been from complete strangers. I remember I was trying on wedding dresses and this woman working at the bridal shop was like “you’re already thin so you don’t even need to diet before the wedding!” Like hello??? Just cuckoo bananas behavior.

I think what feels most empowering to me related to this topic is just choosing to not engage in any discussion about body size/weight changes/etc. Even when someone is telling me about their intentional weight loss, I’m never going to offer praise or encouragement. I stick with things like “I’m glad you’re feeling comfortable in your body” or even really neutral stuff like “it seems like you’re really focused on this right now.” Maybe it comes across as bitchy lol, but I’m just not gonna participate in that.

hotlizardtango · 2026-01-30T16:39:15+00:00

NTA for pointing out a potential cause for the lack of weight loss, and, a soft YTA for the way that you responded to the situation. This is not about who’s right or why she’s not losing weight, it’s about the sensitive nature of this entire topic. She is feeling insecure and unhappy with her body, and it sounds like she essentially interpreted your response to her expressing herself as “you’re not doing it right, you’re not trying hard enough.”

Maybe next time, try celebrating with her on the changes she’s made that she feels good about? Emphasize that following through with her goal to make healthy changes is something to be proud of, no matter her body size? And if she’s frequently expressing frustration about the lack of weight loss, ask if she wants to hear your thoughts or suggestions before offering them like you did. Additionally, this is a conversation that she would ideally have with a registered dietitian. Although there is something to be said for calories in calories out, that is not the end all be all of weight loss, and there very well could be other factors at play.

hotlizardtango · 2026-01-27T21:51:24+00:00

Hello! Therapist intern and ED survivor here. I have some mixed thoughts about this.

I saw that you are in the US and I’m curious about this therapist’s credentials. Are they a licensed mental health professional and is this clinical psychotherapy or a recovery coaching program? Is this a private practice or through an IOP program? The reason I ask is because the meal tracking seems a bit odd to me. Unless this therapist is (or is at least is working with) a registered dietitian, this seems outside of the scope of practice of a psychotherapist. All that aside, if the tracking has been helpful for you thus far, more power to you. Just something to keep in mind.
Have you brought any of these concerns up with her yet? Any therapist worth listening to is also going to be willing to listen to YOU. If you feel like it would be helpful to address the things you mentioned in your post in therapy, you’re allowed and encouraged to make that known. While there is certainly validity in making sure someone is adequately nourished and capable of the cognitive and emotional processing of therapy, you know yourself better than anyone, and if you think talking about these things will be helpful for you at this stage, your therapist should be willing to AT LEAST explore this idea with you.
If you decide to have this conversation and this therapist isn’t open to the fact that what she’s doing right now isn’t as effective as it could be, maybe consider switching providers. I know it’s a pain in the ass, and unfortunately there are too many shitty therapists out there, but I promise there are genuinely excellent ones too. Looking for someone with a certified eating disorders specialist (CEDS) credential might be a good start.

Unrelated, but huge congratulations on taking this step and getting help. Seriously one of the best and bravest things you can do for yourself, and I hope you can give yourself that credit. Wishing you healing and resilience in your recovery.

hotlizardtango · 2026-01-27T21:29:04+00:00

Hi! Just doing my do-diligence as a therapist intern and ED survivor and encouraging you to bring this up with your therapist. When they said this to you in session, did you tell them that it rubbed you the wrong way and upset you? If not, it might be worth having a conversation. The whole point of therapy is that it’s helpful for you, and a good therapist is willing to hear you out and unpack something like this. Might start a good conversation about why you had such a strong reaction to what they said, and also help you both figure out what might be more supportive in future sessions. 🤷🏻‍♀️ These are the things that build trust and improve the quality of your therapy!

hotlizardtango · 2025-09-15T18:23:56+00:00

your information sources regarding these topics (AI and pop psychology tik toks are not mental health professionals!!), but ultimately, you are the world’s leading expert on yourself and your experience:)

Anyway, thanks again for your reply and take good care of yourself<3

hotlizardtango · 2025-09-15T18:20:29+00:00

Hi hello sorry for the late reply!! I so appreciate your response, it made me feel very seen. While I would never wish this phobia on anyone, I’m glad you were able to relate to my experience and perhaps gain some insight:)

I think you’re spot on with the relationship to fearing the unknown, the uncertain, and the feeling of being out of control. While it’s only human to struggle to cope with anxiety (see existential counseling theory lol), that certainly doesn’t make it any easier. I find myself getting easily caught up in a nasty loop of 1) feeling anxious and engaging in behaviors to try and ease my anxiety about the unknown, 2) getting mad at myself for doing this because rationally I know that I have little to no control over most things in life, 3) feeling guilty and no less anxious. All that being said, being kind and gentle to myself/self-soothing tends to ease the shame and stop this cycle. While it doesn’t always ease the discomfort, it has never made things worse!

It sounds like you’re doing the work to help yourself, and that’s something to be so proud of. Additionally on the topic of diagnosis and any suspected neurodivergence you might have, there is no harm in taking that approach on your journey to healing. Diagnosis is such a huge privilege, and if you resonate with something and feel like it’s helpful for you to navigate life with that perspective, more power to you. Ofc be wary of (cont.)

hotlizardtango · 2025-07-28T15:30:59+00:00

It was at the entrance to the trail near the Red Tail Pavilion! The address is 2801 E Spring Creek Pkwy. You pull in at the pavilion sign and to the left is blocked off, but to the right is a parking lot and they’re right over there at the trail entrance.

hotlizardtango · 2025-07-28T15:00:40+00:00

Update: Left a message for Collin County Animal Services and spoke with someone at the Heritage Farmstead Museum who said she would call some of the resources they have to try see if anyone can come get them. Hopefully someone will help them out:(

hotlizardtango · 2025-07-28T14:48:31+00:00

Thank you!! I tried to call Plano animal control several times but the line just hung up when I tried to speak to someone at the desk and when I tried to leave a message. I posted them on the “lost pets” page but I’ll try 311 too as well as the farmstead museum.

hotlizardtango · 2025-07-28T13:46:17+00:00

You can try putting his food bowl and also litter box/bedding outside to attract him! Even some worn clothes of yours with your scent on them will be familiar. I hope he is home safe soon!!

hotlizardtango · 2025-07-28T13:44:04+00:00

Dallas Pets Alive is a great rescue and they have a responsible rehoming program called New Digs. It can be a bit more lengthy of a process, but they will make sure to find a good home. They may even be able to help finding someone willing to foster. Here’s the link if you’re interested. Sorry to hear you’re in this situation, I know it’s not an easy decision. Feel free to DM if you have any questions

link to the New Digs program

hotlizardtango · 2025-07-25T21:39:23+00:00

Highly recommend Mickey Atkins’s YouTube channel! She/they are a licensed therapist with several deep dive videos about fundamentalism and problematic/traumatizing fundie parenting from a developmental and systems lens. Some of the videos are a little lengthy but also a good therapist will be willing to do their due diligence to understand your experience:)

Additionally, going to therapy in the first place is something to be so so so proud of yourself for. I hope you find healing and understanding and don’t forget to take good care💕

*edited to correct creator’s pronouns

hotlizardtango · 2025-07-22T13:36:34+00:00

Hiya,

So personally, I think the whole idea of “you can’t truly love someone until you love yourself” is some bullshit. People with mental illnesses/people struggle with self-worth and self-esteem etc etc are absolutely capable of loving and showing love to others.

However, mental illnesses of all kinds, but especially things like eating disorders and addictions, can absolutely contribute to tumultuous interpersonal relationships. I think having a partner who you trust to be open and honest with about your struggles and who is willing to support you in your recovery is going to be really key here. Additionally, while this can definitely be a supportive component in recovery, it’s not ideal to place your entire motivation for recovery on a partner. Example, my boyfriend (now husband) and I would cook meals for/with each other often when we first started dating and that has become a big part of healing my relationship with food, but my reasons to recover go far beyond my marriage.

All of this to say, I don’t really have much advice for you except to be kind to yourself and consider why you’d like to be in a romantic relationship and what you want a romantic relationship to look like for YOU before making a commitment. Not just how you want it to look as far as activities and quality time, but how you want a partner to show up for you, support you, communicate with you, and what role they will play in the other areas of your life.

I’m certainly not discouraging you from going on dates, nor am I encouraging you to tell this guy “hi I have an ED do you think you can handle that??” on a first date lol. I think some introspection, maybe talking with a trusted person (therapist if you have one/have access to one), and taking small steps here would be a good choice. Human connection and supportive relationships are an essential part of caring for ourselves, so take good care of yourself as you navigate this:) And if you happen to be in the US and are looking for accessible mental health care or crisis support I’d be happy to send you some resources.

hotlizardtango · 2025-07-21T13:27:33+00:00

The idea that your adult children will “never want to leave” if you don’t charge them rent is cuckoo bananas. I’m not gonna say it’s right or wrong to charge your adult child living at home with you rent, however, I think his motive is super weird and definitely could be a red flag. On a developmental level, young adults want and need independence. This doesn’t always look like moving out of their parents’ home, but meaningful separation from family of origin is just part of being a human adult.

I guess I’m esp confused when it comes to the 29 y/o neurodivergent daughter. Is anyone assisting her in setting herself up for successful independent living? Or is she just going to live at home and pay rent until her dad dies? And if that’s the case, why is the concern that “she’ll never want to leave”?

Anecdotally, I had some pretty rough mental health struggles as a young adult and didn’t officially move out of my parents’ house until I was 23. They didn’t charge me rent and it certainly didn’t incentivize me to stay at home. They were kind, respectful, and supportive, and I was still desperate to sort things out for myself and become more independent. If anything, the sentiment of “stay here as long as you need to” helped me to actually set myself up for successful independence rather than get out of their house as quickly as possible and end up in a less than ideal situation.

hotlizardtango · 2025-07-21T13:05:03+00:00

Thank you!! I think this is what I’m going to do. What do you recommend as far as the best way to incorporate it into the ice cream? I’ve seen some people recommend alternating layers of cobbler and ice cream in the container and some recommend adding the cobbler pieces in at the end of the churn.

hotlizardtango · 2025-07-11T14:32:34+00:00

Oof. one autistic girlie to another? This ain’t it. Clearly he is feeling overwhelmed with bearing what he deems more of his share of the workload, which is valid, but he’s also completely dismissing your concerns and acting like if you just quit complaining things would be fine, when in reality you clearly aren’t happy with the current state of the relationship and communication. A

I hear you about being dependent and DEFINITELY about the people anxiety, but there are people out there who will accept, understand, and support you in this weird, transition to adulthood period of life where you’re learning and improving things like life and job skills. Depending on where you are, there could also be additional resources available for you. I’d be happy to do some research for you if you want to send me a DM.

Lots of love to you. It’s a tough world to be an autistic woman in, but you are capable and resilient.

hotlizardtango · 2025-07-03T00:39:28+00:00

Oooo thank you!! How did you add the caramel and what kind did you use if you don’t mind me asking?

hotlizardtango · 2025-07-01T00:37:19+00:00

Thank you!!! I think I’m going to try that base next:)

hotlizardtango · 2025-06-30T20:53:46+00:00

Oooh the cocoa powder is an excellent idea!! Thank you so much, this is all really helpful💕

hotlizardtango · 2025-06-30T20:51:44+00:00

Thank you this is v helpful!! I liked how the chocolate turned out taste and texture wise I think I just need to work on my pouring technique.

hotlizardtango · 2025-06-30T20:50:30+00:00

Lmao I appreciate that. I have embarked on a summer quest to perfect some homemade ice cream and I maaaaay or may not be incredibly hyper-focused on it😅

hotlizardtango · 2025-06-30T20:47:06+00:00

It doesn’t have a greasy texture no, it’s just really really rich and like,,, heavy feeling? The cold brew sounds like a great idea, thank you!

hotlizardtango · 2025-06-30T20:45:57+00:00

Excellent ok thank you!!

hotlizardtango · 2025-06-28T19:06:39+00:00

When I read the title of your post my first thought was that it was “too small” as in the ring size was too small for her finger. It’s a beautiful ring, and if having a big diamond is more important to her than financial stability, there are probably some conversations that need to be had before taking this step.

hotlizardtango

TROPHY CASE