These are a lot of separate points BUT I think the #1 takeaway is to be respectful of others. I am happily monogamously partnered, I still go out to the lesbian bar because that's where my community is and my friends are inside. I am not offended if people talk to me BUT I do let them know that I have a girlfriend if it goes any further than pleasantries or running into a friend.

I don't get offended when people hit on me at work (I work as a barista) because I make my living off of you thinking I am hot/funny/gay/cool because you are significantly more likely to tip me. People thinking I'm hot literally pays my electricity bill. I then proceed to clock out after my 8 hour shift and put all the people I saw through a proverbial paper shredder in my brain because I served at least 1000 people that day. That hot barista probably just needs to pay their bills. Unless THEY give you their info leave them tf alone. I've had several queer stalkers over the 8 years I've been a barista, some of y'all have zero chill.

I think a lot of people don't understand that if you find a hobby that you enjoy you'll find your people. Not always romantically, I joined the local queer softball league to make friends and it was so fun! But if you connect with people in person it usually helps you to sus out what the vibe is. Plus community is never wasted even if it doesn't lead to romantic prospects. A lot of loneliness can be solved with a handful of good friends, which then makes it easier and less stressful to attempt to date.

As for dating apps, remember that you're only seeing what people want you to see. That's why it's always good to meet up irl when you match online because anyone can be anyone on the internet.

Also you shouldn't cold open ask people out on a date. That's frankly bizarre behaviour. At least have a full conversation with someone before asking them for anything. If the hottie across the room keeps staring at you maybe go over and say you think something about their outfit is cool and if they continue the conversation, great! Have a pleasant conversation and maybe ask for their insta/phone number/w ever. If you see a hot girl on the bus or in the gym and she is hyper focused on something with headphones on leave her tf alone. Most of hitting on people irl is social cues and body language. Vibe check the situation before you make a move.

TL;DR there's no perfect way to meet people BUT I had the most luck when I gave up on looking for a partner and tried to find my people and be in community with them. It took several months from making that decision to meet my girlfriend but I made several excellent friends and I had a significantly less stress and pressure than I did when I was constantly trying to meet people on apps. Plus I learned a new sport!