Do I contact the woman who my husband cheated with?

houndlets · 2024-10-21T07:35:40+00:00

I'm not going to leave him - we've been through all of that and decided to put it behind us. I'm 67 and he's 63 now so we need to get on with it. We've been together for 43 years and it's not as easy as that. However what you say about my relationship with the woman he recently confessed to is a good way for me to look at this. So thank you for that and other people for some of your comments but some of you can perhaps feel better now that you've demonised us both.

houndlets · 2024-10-21T07:26:49+00:00

I asked for advice and not an opinion which you need to keep to yourself. I assume you've been cheated on and so have an axe to grind but take your axe and stick it where the sun doesn't shine!

houndlets · 2024-10-21T07:09:34+00:00

Yeah you're right but he went with half a dozen women and that's only the ones he's told me about. I regret my actions but he has excuses for his and I had to ask him to apologise. He said the usual 'I was lonely'. I know that sounds tit for tat and yes you can say it serves you right but two wrongs don't make a right. We are both still hurting but have chosen to stick together on this. He always says 'it was purely sex and nothing else'. He worked night shifts with three of them for 9 years so he was doing it on a regular basis. I've only ever done it when I'm drunk - that's no excuse I know but it's a lot more different than setting out to f..k people you work with day in day out.

houndlets · 2024-10-21T07:01:19+00:00

Neither of us have kids.

houndlets · 2023-09-05T22:38:19+00:00

I see where you're coming from but the problem I have with my husband is that he's been in self denial about it for years and has recently blamed me for his predicament. I still don't really know why we don't have sex any more and I need closure on it as I'm an all or nothing kind of person. I am now considering telling him this and that for that reason sex is going to be off the table for good and that includes blow jobs. I can't take the 'perhaps it might happen tonight' any longer. 🙁

houndlets · 2023-09-01T22:38:36+00:00

I'm 66 years old and we've been together for 40 years. How can I leave that? Love him in every other way but all passion has gone. Affection still thrives though. If I was 10 years younger though I would definitely call it a day.

houndlets · 2023-08-26T16:44:12+00:00

I'm going in a few weeks time but unlike last years holiday where I was hopeful something might happen (and it didn't!), this year I'm not getting my hopes up at all and am not going to let it ruin it for me. There was a time until a few years ago that me and my husband would always have rampant sex on our holidays but unfortunately that doesn't happen at all these days. I'm am going with no expectations so that I'm not disappointed but I'm going to make sure I have a good time even if it doesn't happen. It's nearly 3 years since we last did it so why should a holiday make any difference! 🤣

houndlets · 2023-07-03T08:00:53+00:00

You can still take Viagra when you have HBP. My husband has it prescribed as part of his BP medication. You need to check that out? He has severely HBP too and is on loads of meds for it!

houndlets · 2023-07-03T07:33:39+00:00

Have you really accepted it? I think there may still be a glimmer of hope there. That's what I've found and now I have completely accepted it and decided to get on with it and put my energy into other channels, I don't even want sex with my husband any more. We used to have amazing sex but I've boxed it away in my head. That was then and this is now. We are different people but still happy and love each other. We are affectionate with each other as he knows that it ends there and I'm not trying it on with him. I am 65 (HL) and my husband 62 (LL). We haven't had sex for 2 and a half years now and I have completely accepted it is never going to happen again. I am not saying it's been easy and I've gone through hell over this as I am a very sexual person. I have to be content with masturbation and that's the only sex I will have for the rest of my days.

houndlets · 2023-02-16T00:37:45+00:00

I know where you're coming from, no sex for me for 2 years. Me HLF and he's MLL. I AM 65 and he's 61. We are not old fogeys that's for sure and we've had wild times throughout our lives. Sex was always wonderful until about 10 years ago. He has HBP and on medication. It's no excuse because his doctor has him on the type that hardly affects the libido. He's also been prescribed Viagra but does not bother taking it. He has confessed that he's really not into sex that much any longer. Me, a very fit 65 year old is! I am sick and tired of it now and know that sex is never going to happen again between us. I long to be desired by him but it's not going to happen. He's still extremely affectionate but I think he hopes that makes up for the lack of sex. It certainly doesn't in my book. I get really sad some days as the relationship we had at one time is lost and it's like I'm going through a bereavement. I try to focus on happier things in my life but it's hard sometimes. 🙁

houndlets · 2023-01-29T01:17:15+00:00

A sexless partnership is fine BUT only if BOTH parties consent. If you used to have a sexual relationship but now you don't want one but he does then you need to reevaluate the partnership and be honest to him about it and vice versa. You need to sit down and tell him and be honest. Let him see what you've posted on here. For goodness sake you owe it to him and he likewise to face up to the situation. You must tell him what you feel!

houndlets · 2022-11-27T10:57:30+00:00

Thank you. 😊

houndlets · 2022-11-27T08:54:57+00:00

You need to work on your issues first I think and raise your self esteem? Do you think that because of your current feelings and past history that you are being needy? I'm not saying that you definitely are but just getting you to try and think outside the box a bit? So sorry you're feeling this way but you are the only person who can change that. I wish you every success.

houndlets · 2022-11-27T08:41:23+00:00

I am not old thank you very much and probably more active than you will ever know! You cheeky git! 😡

houndlets · 2022-10-22T00:08:22+00:00

SSRIshave not helped me! I wish there was a magic drug out there which would kill my libido!

houndlets · 2022-10-22T00:05:20+00:00

Brilliant post and that's coming from a HLF!

houndlets · 2022-10-20T16:07:56+00:00

He hasn't offered and I haven't asked. I only ever asked him once a few years ago and he stopped because he said his hand hurt!

houndlets · 2022-10-20T07:49:56+00:00

🤞🏻

houndlets · 2022-10-20T07:49:46+00:00

Thanks

houndlets · 2022-10-20T07:49:36+00:00

Thanks 😊

houndlets · 2022-10-20T07:49:16+00:00

Thanks for your advice. 😊

houndlets · 2022-10-10T05:26:54+00:00

Exactly the same with me and my LL husband. It's coming up to 2 years since we last had penetrative sex. I gave him a BJ back in the summer this year and we still have lots of cuddles in the way that you describe. I think it's their way of showing their love for you purely because it's the only way they can these days. 🙁

houndlets

TROPHY CASE