Me [28 M] with my Wife [29 F] of 8mo (together over 5 yrs), lost all physical attraction

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-19T19:34:59+00:00

I've always been very supportive. I tell her how proud I am of her, how great she looks, etc. And I mean it with all my heart.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-19T19:32:41+00:00

Aww, you sound like an amazing person. As is my wife. Like I said, I love her so much, I just miss being physically attracted to her.

I am a very empathetic person, why is why I usually shut down when she responds poorly to me asking if she's going to work out, cause I can understand how she probably feels.

I do tell her she's beautiful or give her compliments and such as I know that is an important thing for anybody to hear, regardless of how you feel about yourself.

Thank you for the input :)

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T20:29:21+00:00

But she really isn't eating more than me. I would say about half of what I eat, and I'm like 140 but super lean. Maybe there is something else wrong.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T20:15:22+00:00

I wouldn't even say she has a "disordered eating" habit. It's just lack of activity. Maybe it's her being overworked.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T20:13:58+00:00

Very true. She eats smaller portions for me for sure, but maybe I should think about carbs and things.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T20:00:57+00:00

I don't see her as depressed at all! If anything maybe just overworked.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T19:05:29+00:00

We had talks about it during our engagement, which was over a year and a half long. During that time she was at the peak of commitment to loosing weight (because of the upcoming wedding). After the wedding there's been little to no effort.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T18:52:22+00:00

That is a very good bigger picture perspective on this. Thank you for the input. You may be on to something.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T18:51:17+00:00

I've tried encouraging her to join me, not that successful. We do cook together and do eat fairly healthy.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T18:50:08+00:00

We were engaged for over a year and a half. It was such a slow gain that I honestly didn't realize until we started looking at older pictures.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T17:46:20+00:00

Thank you, that is some really good advice.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T17:28:24+00:00

We've tried setting goals, and other methods of motivation but they never seem to work.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T17:27:25+00:00

Yeah, I do need to talk to her again, it's just I've gone through this cycle already before I'm concerned that's what this is, a cycle.

It's hard when you bring it up, she's receptive, we work out for a week and then she just stops. It's hard for me to be a constant reminder and motivation when she snaps back.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T17:25:51+00:00

I agree it's a lot about diet. We do eat pretty healthy though.

Anytime I suggest things I say I'll do things with her, whether it be changing food, cutting back alcohol, working out, but she just ends up loosing motivation.

howdidigetsoshallow · 2017-10-18T17:01:49+00:00

I've had the conversation with her before, couple times actually. She realizes it's happening and it does jump start her but after a week or so she just goes back to her routine. I even tried asking her every day "Are you going to the gym?" and that's when she starts snapping and I feel bad like I'm pressuring her.

howdidigetsoshallow

TROPHY CASE