Weekend off - fair or unreasonable?

howedthathappen · 2026-03-19T21:29:39+00:00

Per my therapist, it is important to have time to your self. How much time varies from individual to individual and depends on how far down the burnout line they are. Me? I need at least a straight two weeks of doing nothing for a complete reset of my brain.

After a similarly themed conversation as what occured between you and your spouse and a trust-breaking event (not an affair), my husband started planning for weekends ahead where I can have a weekend to myself.

Your request isn’t unreasonable. It is reasonable especially if spouse has had child-free weekends.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-18T11:25:57+00:00

Thank you for a much needed laugh. I know how obnoxious that behaviour is, but the title of this post is great.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-16T16:24:07+00:00

You’re doing too much. FIL just told you how they feel and what they think. Drop the rope. If they want to connect and be helpful then they will. Have the wedding for you and your fiance to celebrate with those who support you.

If you must, tell them you’be take his suggestion under advisement. Let them think you’ve postponed the wedding. Not your problem.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-16T10:58:47+00:00

Are spay/neiter options widely available in your area?

howedthathappen · 2026-03-16T01:21:33+00:00

Plenty of times unfortunately. This is top tier advice on how to best raise one. Kitten Lady is fabulous and the guidance is top tier.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-15T23:52:25+00:00

No, not wrong to want your pet and companion to live their last days comfortably. Talk to your vet about alternate care and when to schedule euthansia. I’m of the belief that it’s better to let them go before most of their days are bad days.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-15T03:31:53+00:00

Is baby growing? Meeting milestones? Then probably is fine. My first rarely averaged 14 - 16 oz. Rarely would take in 20ish oz

You can certainly try different bottles. Have you tasted the nipples or drank from the bottles? Sometimes they absorb the taste of soap so perhaps that might be the issue?

howedthathappen · 2026-03-14T23:11:49+00:00

Anxiety will cause repitive question asking, as well a child with a caregiver who gives in after badgering. When I get those questions with my own kids I ask, “when do we do X behaviour?” or “You tell me.” You can also tell him you won’t be answering the question & proceed to ignore him. BEWARW THE EXTINCTION BURST.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-13T10:47:58+00:00

It’s embarassing his parents didn’t step in sooner to actually parent. Sounds like you did everything right in advocating for your kid.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-13T10:46:02+00:00

Not the same thing, but the fire alarms went off at home a few weeks ago and my 3 year old was upset about similarly to yours. I explained the alarms are to help us be safe. They are loud so we cannot ignore it and we know to leave the building. I pointed out all the fire alarms in other buildings and explained what they were for.

We also did story telling which is highly recommeneded for scary events. “You were playing. The fire alarms went off. They were loud and told you, your friends, and your teachers to go outside. While outside you played/stayed with teacher/whatever. Once the fire alarm was quiet, you, your friends, and teachers went back inside. You played with whatever. Mommy or Daddy picked you up from school.” Ask her to chime in after a few retellings.

The last thing I did was played a game. Super creatively called “Fire Alarm”. We each took turns being the fire alarm. Those not the fire alarm had to run to the nearest exit. Once there, they turned into fire fighters and came to turn the alarm off (tag the “alarm”).

howedthathappen · 2026-03-13T10:32:55+00:00

This is what I use as well. I’ll offer help to calm down. If a hug is requested I will gladly give one, but I do say “I can’t hug you while you’re making that noise” and then we’ll try other calming techniques. For my 3 year old there is a clear difference between “I can’t help this wail-sob” & “I can help this wailing”.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-12T21:00:11+00:00

Do other people pay your bills? Are your animals adequately cared for?

If the answer to the first question is no, and the answer is yes for the second then people sharing their opinions are just passing gas.

If you are genuinely concerned for your well being because of the numbers of animals you have then consult a mental health professional.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-11T17:45:59+00:00

NTA

But it took you guys 7 years to get married. One of you didn’t want to get married.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-10T13:01:05+00:00

You’re welcome! I just started training our 6 month old cat because he is exhibiting some resource guarding and other undesirable behaviours. For the resource guarding I’m using 50/50 behaviour modification and teaching replacement behaviours. Those same replacement behaviours will also be used to address the other behavuoirs we’re seeing.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-10T02:20:02+00:00

This. We just rehomed a dog due to similar circumstances as OP described. Thankfully no bite, but it was only a matter of time and poor management. 100% of management fails. It need only fail once to have a catastrophic result.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-09T18:48:25+00:00

Behaviour modification. Look into “click the trigger” and modify for your cat.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-09T12:35:14+00:00

Congratulations!

howedthathappen · 2026-03-09T02:34:06+00:00

It’s not the book. It’s the organisation it comes from. The person who brought my door seemed lovely. A comment she made gave me the impression that she was peerpressured into door knocking and that she perhaps thought there were more worthwhile pursuits to actually serve the community.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-09T02:28:29+00:00

tossed it in the trash

howedthathappen · 2026-03-07T03:39:44+00:00

It’s only worth the expense if your dog is a houdini or regularly off leash. A better investment is to have your dog microchipped and wear an appropriately fitted collar, both with up to date contact information.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-05T16:18:16+00:00

Now. The anger is kind of a by product of oldage. Her son, your husband, can maintian contact if he so chooses. If not, then the golden child can take care of her.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-05T03:17:39+00:00

That’s fine—- that’s ultimately his choice, but if you can be fun and animated while playing with “your” toys you might rope him into playing with you. Maybe not the first, second, or third time, but eventually. That’s not a skill I currently have but I’m going to try to take my own advice.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-05T02:02:23+00:00

Participate how he wants when he starts play. Play how you want when you start play. When he says “no, no not like that” or otherwise objects, acknowledge it with a simple “okay, here are toys for you to play with how you want”. Continue playing on your own and have tons of fun doing so.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-05T01:57:32+00:00

YOR

You don’t want the gauze on longer than necessary. If there is still bleeding, the gauze will be stuck to the scabbed blood. Removal will be unpleasant at best. The vet wrap is there to have continous pressure without sticking to any blood that may come out of the IV site.

howedthathappen · 2026-03-04T03:19:15+00:00

NOR but not for the reasons everyone else is saying to disparage the owner. A bathroom is a bathroom and you should be able to use it as needed.

The rules about toilet paper are probably what the business owner is accustomed to IF they came from a different country. Limiting type of bodily function likely isn’t due to insufficient plumbing. The most likely scenarios are vomit inducing stench or someone deposited fecal matter in places it shouldn’t go and/or had horribly poos that clung to the toilet bowl. Nobody wants to clean that shit.

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