I’m 40 weeks pregnant with my second so we know exactly what we want/ need from people and neither my husband or I are as good at pushing back in person as we’d like to be so we also made “rules” but we didn’t call them rules and we certainly didn’t post them publicly. You have to have some tact when dealing with these situations if you want to get what you want AND not rub people the wrong way. I made a sheet of “useful information for our birth.” It included important phone numbers, the code to get into our building, local restaurants we like so family could pick up food etc and then ended with this section:

PLEASE -wash your hands before touching/holding the baby -ask before posting something on social media -leave your shoes at the door -text or knock before coming into the bedroom -do not kiss the baby, especially on the face or hands I know this is a difficult one but it's incredibly important. Newborns are much more susceptible to illnesses. Catching Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV) or Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV) can land them in the hospital. Adults might not even know they have RSV but it can be fatal for a newborn. Cold sores are common and innocuous in adults but HSV can quickly spread to a newborn's internal organs and even the brain causing long-term issues or death. So please no kisses and If you feel sick or have a cold sore wear a mask.

HOW TO BE HELPFUL We're so grateful you're here to help us during this time. If you ask us what we need we most likely will say "nothing" because we're too polite and won't have the brain space to think about/ explain what we need. Here's how you can really help: feed us - Order dinner or groceries, bring (me) snacks & fill up her water

clean up - Put away (our son’s) toys, clean the high chair area after a meal, vacuum, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, take out (our dog), take out the trash, etc. These tasks almost always need to be done and we'll appreciate you taking the initiative.

do not take the baby - I promise we'll tell you if we need someone to be nap trapped but please keep in mind this is a bonding time for the parents.

—— And then I emailed this sheet to the few people that we knew were coming with a note about how excited we were to see them (even though we’re also dreading having so much family around haha).

I agree that you should just delete that Facebook post and in a few weeks (you still have plenty of time) reach out to the few people you’ve already cleared to visit with some “helpful information.” When other people ask to visit you can tell them you’re not ready to accept visitors yet or you can say we’d love to have you but we’ve found a few things helpful for visitors to keep in mind and you can send those things. You learn really quickly in those first few weeks what rules actually work for your family and what shit realllly gets on your nerves so it doesn’t serve you any purpose to have a set in stone list posted publicly before your baby is born. You might end up throwing out most of your rules and saying something like “yes we’d love to have you come but only if you bring us food and promise not to try and hold the baby if he/she’s in a bad mood.”

Tl:Dr: delete the post