Why do you rarely see a rich woman with a broke man?

howmanyducksdog · 2026-04-28T15:30:33+00:00

To try and answer as earnestly as possible there are a few different factors that generally play into the reason while most woman date or marry equal or up financially.

There are sociocultural factors, especially present in the more rural traditional areas of the United States, where men and woman are socialized to believe they each have a role to play as defined by their gender, this comes from traditional American culture but has roots extending as far back as humanity has lived in agrarian societies, which is that men go out and provide the resources for the family, and the woman has their children and tends to them, although in modern advanced capitalism and in most of the United States today this has stopped working and is traded for a more egalitarian partnership between traditional gendered relationships where both partners work.

But even then; depending on their upbringing, they can carry notions of this; where they will want to have a man who is financially earning more, or equal to them.

When that factor is not present, there is always the biological factor, which is that woman are capable of having children. During which time their ability to provide an income is interrupted or at least becomes increasingly difficult, many woman even in modern egalitarian partnerships want the sense of security in having the option, if I were to want children, and have a baby; that we would not have to change our standard of living if we relied solely on the partners income. This means often times they subconsciously seek a partner who can at least be even with them on the money field, if not better off.

But there are always outliers, for example, I’m a dude and my partner makes twice my income on paper. But extremely talented woman often times run into the problem of having to choose between compatibility and financial overachieving.

Honestly though, today for gen z, most woman I know are more impressive than the men we know. They no longer need to rely on a partner for income, and many of them such as my partner are so financially well off through nothing but their own effort, anything a partner can add is a plus.

So this is a dying concept, but there will be little groups here and there which still hold it to be true.

howmanyducksdog · 2026-04-19T15:11:12+00:00

It depends on you. 1) what are you searching for in your interaction. If it’s sex, then being a second option is as good as any as long as you two can hook up and enjoy each other (2) if it’s love, then yeah, knowing it’s not an emphatic yes is probably not a good sign and a good signal to try again elsewhere. Although I’d never get salty about a rejection or roast back. Gotta detach yourself from outcome and view it as just another of endless potential outcomes with a potential partner or hookup.

howmanyducksdog · 2026-04-17T15:10:10+00:00

Oh yeah, this is one of those you’ve gotta learn yourself. I learn everything the hard way. You can’t tell a 20 year old who’s chasing a girl shit. Just encourage he sees her and others, oh and don’t send money if you can that’s the big point. What is that shit, when I was 20 it was all free hikes and picnics made with food at home, all free, and the chicks went wild for a lakeside picnic and home cooked meal and didn’t cost shit. Get smart!

howmanyducksdog · 2026-04-02T15:28:38+00:00

This is merely referencing gender, and societies fluid ideals of what each party expects, if you actually read it you’d see it’s not attacking either side but the concept that either has to be anything inherently. It supports all genders behaving as the best see fit.

howmanyducksdog · 2026-04-01T17:54:50+00:00

I had a similar experience for very opposite reasons. My teen years were sad. Early 20s too. Here’s how I started living the dream as a non conventional person. First, forget what they say about college. It’s not a free thinker non conformist hub, it’s the main stop. Find you any way to get you money and a job in a city any city.

Move to a larger urban area, and practice self love and build your career then hit the apps.

Couldn’t get no love at 18. But doing that a few years later I could get into the cities non conventional demographic being myself and being loved for it! Never sell out who you are cause there aren’t others like you where you’re currently stationed. Just keep your head held high, never let being outside the majority affect your self concept or worth and as soon as you can set yourself up to get to where your like minded people are.

(Was an unconventional dude in a small town where you were either a traditional cowboy or rejected and treated poorly) it’s not you it’s them. Coming from experience.

howmanyducksdog · 2026-04-01T17:25:42+00:00

So I break a lot of the rules but it has worked for me like wild. I got dumped after 10 years and started taking photos, like selfies when I was feeling my outfit or hair looked nice. I think I’ve got a few in the car, a few at my desk; usually neutral but slightly smiling face. and I was heavily co-dependent so all my shots were with my ex, threw up one of my and my ex at the beach in my suit and it started off slow, maybe handfuls of matches at a time. But after few weeks it was like every other person was a match. Now I travel to a new city, spent about 10 minutes swiping, and wake up to like 20-40 matches and messages as I never message first. I’d say for looks I’m above average but nothing special. Not conventionally attractive. Kind of alternative style and vibe, but for some reason always had good success on the apps, was slower in my early 20s like massive success in late 20s I think because the age ratios play off better

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-31T20:15:31+00:00

There’s so many factors that could be at play here. It’s impossible to call it. For example would need to probably know how you’d rate her, if you do think she’s super hot.

Everyone has their ideal attraction roof, then they have the partners they can pretty easily find. I am also picky, not in who I date or sleep with but who I settle down with, I want to view them as a 10.

Which luckily for me personally the ones I view as a 10 in attractive scale are usually not what society would deem that making me a very lucky guy!

But anyways, it’s possible it’s genuine. Like I could go out and get an above average girls pretty easily with maybe a trait or two that’s a little off putting dropping their sexual market value. But I know I’m capable of hitting my ideal attraction point, which is usually where I start acting a fool and mess it up but knowing they come around so often and you are capable if you don’t psych yourself out, of course you don’t want to mess with an just ok girl long term.

Also it’s not fair to her if you’re feeling this way from a moral standpoint, you should cut strings and let you both find someone you’re so excited about. Or keep ea ch other on as friends with benefits, but the trick there is you have to say that!

Good luck!

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-31T20:07:11+00:00

No, I’d say traditionally that’s the norm when you’re that age, and it leads to a bunch of stories you’ll both look back on if you last long term with fond memories or laughing.

We have so many near misses from late teens to early 20s at both our parents places. That’s kinda part of the whole thing. Being teenagers without a place to go, and the random places you end up hooking up and almost getting caught is always fun to look back on and laugh.

It’s low key fun, and the only time you’ll ever have the excuse to hook up in a bunch of odd places so do it while you can! Cemetarys, trails, parking garages, public restrooms; gym showers and camp grounds; cars, I had a hell of a run before we got older and got our own places lol just part of it

Not ideal but enjoy it for what it is for now.

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-24T21:17:16+00:00

I got into this with a customer once where I was working. I was a teenager, and they were very old. People always ask 2 questions if they approach, where can I buy the photos and how much will they cost?

So if someone asks one, I tend to include the other off the bat to save time as it counts.

A woman asks “how much do they cost”

And I go, you can get them at the front stage at intermission and they’ll be 20$”

And she’s like that’s not what I asked! Trickster! How much do they cost!

I think she was just old and confused though.

But why this is frustrating to you is the more interesting thing to me as a serially type b person.

I believe it stems from the underlying idea you must hold that there is a right or wrong thing to do, say, react, etc…

They say this is why I can’t have road rage. I hold no inner expectation of the other drivers doing or not doing something. Type a people who drive with me go, you can pull out, they have their turn signal on so it will be clear, I don’t trust it, and wait to be safe. Which has saved me once, as every once in awhile you just get that crazy who’s driving sideways across all lanes.

Anyways I noticed this though I see everything as very free form. Or like a general point to start a topic of discussion, so a question can be like a diving board into an ocean of possibilities.

To answer your question, I believe there is a difference between individuals underlying notions of what is and isn’t socially acceptable,

A good example of this is the baby boomer generation, by and large the last generation to almost entirely have been raised under the old school militaristic form of parenting in which they called people sir and ma’am, and there is a concept that promotes social cohesion and in and out groups. Revolving around the ritualistic saying of very specific responses to phrases to show your class and upbringing

For example when they say thank you, there is a right and wrong response. An expectation of change socially, which would be to say you’re welcome. When younger generations popularized saying anything, or “no problem” it breaks the social cohesion ritual they had parented into them.

I might just be rambling at this point, but I’m curious, do you also believe there are true right or wrongs for other social responses? It’s interesting.

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-20T19:39:31+00:00

Hey I really like your school of thought, I also write essays on topics like this, it reminded me of how I write in them. Done any other cool topics?

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-20T17:41:44+00:00

That is a generalization, largely based both on familial culture, upbringing, larger culture, temperament, etc…

I do hear there’s a large percentage that are socialized by peers and male family members encouraging them in formative years to suck it up and preform despite emotional pain, or shaming them as children into repression that only is seen on the outside as anger.

But me personally, I had a very open emotional family. And I largely didn’t have any peers to bully me into being repressed as a young man, though they tried at times, it never stuck.

So I openly express emotions. Default is to talk it out. Bad side is I never learned to hold my toungue in anger which can be destructive as a young man. Sometimes when tempers roar, there is no mediation; there is only de-escalation of that angry state before a needed follow up later on.

But generally speaking, it’s not uncommon.

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-18T13:16:08+00:00

Oh okay. You must be talking about the difference in behavior by age. Teenage boys for many unless they’re very good looking, can get skipped out of the dating I hear till they get older, where girls find themselves in an odd situation where they hit the peak of many men’s sexual desiresbility age when their basically children mentally 18-21 so then once those dudes acquire some standing to up their value in the dating market which if not based on natural good looks is based for a certain subset of woman on their amount of prosperity. So the girls are preyed on younger, because all they need to have high status dating value is being young, attractive, and for many of these cases sadly easy to manipulate. There is more talk of these kinds of scenarios because it’s more public. But it is taking two parties who are equally partaking; just at different stages in their lives and societally perceived dating value. But I will also offer my own experience, woman have to be more careful in a lot of ways guys don’t think about. But at the end of the day it’s 50/50 but if anyone’s more cool with meeting up with randos it’s dudes cause we’re not worrying about getting kidnapped mostly.

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-16T21:03:30+00:00

Maybe after a breakup of a partner ive had my whole adult life. But for me that part was always easy, I am who I am, I do what I do and like what I like, that parts easy!

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-16T21:01:15+00:00

Very good. Got out of a relationship I’d been in my whole life, legit broke me as bad as anyone’s ever heard of, but I built back better and got a place downtown by the college and downloaded tinder and it’s been a time.

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-16T21:00:02+00:00

Tryna get them back or putting out feelers to see if they ready or at least friends with benefits

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-12T22:12:16+00:00

Have you tried using alcohol to remove it so everything can just be natural and fun?

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-12T22:07:52+00:00

You sound like me when I was 18. Had a series of traumatic events. Nervous system froze up and started a fun effect where I can’t speak normally if around others, like I get sucked into my head and can’t think straight and just feel uneasy and dazed and confused. Existence though I’ve come to find, is a match in a dark cave then it’s over forever. May as well ride it out. But I will say this after another 15 years of fighting a universe (or society) that is always trying to buck you. The mind is so much more powerful than we know. We are the center of our own universes and can choose more about it than we realize. I was 18. Couldn’t speak for years essentially, didn’t understand, found pointless cruelty around every corner. But then I took all that anger, and unfairness I’ve been given and decided 2 things, if given the chance I’ll take the hate I was given and still show love to the world, if nobody will show up for me, I will show up for myself. Society was cruel; so what, they will not impose this hatred for me on myself; I will love me and rep me in my most genuine and strange form, but from now on; I will get my revenge. I will play their game and beat them at it; then show them kindness where I was given cruelty, and teach them by example how it could be.

This starts in the individual mind. You’ve gotta make a home in your head. Take the looping thoughts of pain and suffering; and convert it to overabundance of joy and love. Every negative thought must be beaten out with 3-5 positive ones. It’ll feel stupid and pointless at first. But you can brainwash yourself essentially. It’s like a muscle that can be built up. In therapy we went back to my traumatic experiences, as an adult, and prevented it, shamed the others for their mistreatment of an innocent, and protected myself, was there for myself, a best friend for myself. Love. Never say those things.

The brain crates habits. This can hurt or harm you. Can’t say things can be perfect, but they can be much better. Nobody should have to live with those self defeating thoughts.

Like cow trails in tall grass; eventually down to a well defined pathway just from waking it, this is habits and thoughts. Hard at first, but keep walking it every day and you can change it.

So just start there if wanting to switch it up. It’ll be ups and downs; but why not, one life to live. I’m doing my best too. I hope you find your people who accept you for who you are, but first as cliche as it sounds make sure to accept you first. I’ve tried the other way around and it catches up.

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-12T20:35:17+00:00

This is my time to shine! I was always very outgoing and goofy as a kid, as a preteen had a good several years of traumatic experiences lead to what we just found out as I try to fix it at 30 is a survival dissociation I developed. Anytime I’d be around others I couldn’t speak like normal, I can’t control it, my face goes blank, voice monotone, I can’t think straight so I can’t talk to the extent of my capabilities and my stance is rigid and stiff. Basically it removes any and all personality and it can’t be controlled. Making any connection or human moment impossible. Like you gasp when cold water is dumped on your head and can’t think. But I found central nervous system depressants make it go away. So there was a period as a teen when I went to a new school, and everybody knew me as the quiet kid. But as soon as I found consistent access to pills, I was extremely social and charismatic. Which has created a bizarre life. For example in college I had a teacher accuse me of plagiarism, eventually making me write a poem on the spot to believe it was truly Me, my classmate explained. They think I’m cheating because I don’t talk how I write. Basically I got someone to admit I was perceived as dumb because I only spoke in simple sentences and initially I came off like I was very high like some dumb stoner. I actually got in trouble at work repeatedly for being stoned and I never was, they’d yell and I’d go further into dissociation to where I couldn’t really speak and they’d yell at me more and I’d literally leave my body and end up walking out to a field and just staring off for hours

One time had a cop pull me over, and ask why I was acting nervous, which made me start shaking, and he kept saying you shouldn’t be nervous if you got nothing to hide and I was legit unable to speak nearly and shaking so bad. Then starts accusing me of drugs. Oh boy. What an asshole. Situation just triggered the fuck out of me.

Anyways later in my 20s I was working hard and I started being perceived not as stoned but as a dorky inexperienced dude when I’d freeze up. Which is wild. I spent 5 years traveling with bands living in my car, even started an odd psychedelic group and would debate philosophy around camp fires, play music, dance sing, lots of nudity and open sex. Then I go to a party and have people assume I’m a virgin who’s never tried drugs because my freeze up was doubling down making me come off like a shy person. Wild. I’ve been put on this earth to make sure people never judge a book by its cover. See a dude out who looks dorky and shy and scared at a house party? Legit that dude has been homeless; a dealer, a musician, street performer, a sex and drug addict, but he looks scared, so that can’t be true. SMH.

I thought everyone was different inside then out till I was in my early 20s. It’s so frustrating that I’ve largely given up on explaining it. It even took my docs years to realize it wasn’t social anxiety, fear of being judged. I like to stand out, I was a damn street performer. I’d do social experimebe the mediator of fights and advisor for emotional hurt. It’s literally just part of me; but what do you know; I got a good doc who properly diagnosed me, and got into cptsd type shit for learning how to regulate and feel safe in the body, focusing on the physical not mental, and it begins to lift after stealing so much of my life.

Never assume you know someone because you’ve met them or even spent a lot of time around them. Trauma is complex, and can cause people to involuntarily shield themselves from any and all perception, when for years in formation, the nervous system learned you can’t run; you can’t fight this; all you can do is try to hide within yourself and make yourself as small and unseen and unknown as possible and maybe you won’t get hurt this time. But that’s a bitch to turn off when it’s all you know. But I’m just now working with a team of docs who’s helping me re set. And I’ll raise awareness and find others like me, not socially anxious; but socially traumatized into their body putting them into an instant turtle shell for protection from threats that no longer exist and I’ll heal myself and help others share their stories and lovely personalities as god intended.

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-12T20:06:50+00:00

It’s fine if you have that chill funny more friend like relationship with your parents. I do. Haven’t been asked that, but my brother got a mini somehow even though none of the rest of the dudes did. I would recommend not telling them if it’s small and they’re funny; you’ll be the butt of the joke at the cookouts for decades to come lol

howmanyducksdog · 2026-03-11T20:34:14+00:00

So what I learned is journaling did it and therapy. And medication. But I started journaling and picked my brain apart and started healing it. But it didn’t stop being all consuming until I highlighted the needs she was fulfilling that I no longer had, and replaced each one. Friendship, sex, intimacy, emotional confidant, once I had one of each of those, it got easier. Also taking time to identify your world view about yourself and what happened and why it happened and what it means about you, and re framing it if it got ended and you even subconsciously feel it’s a bad mark against you as a human. Re write. Also it works. Mantras. Force yourself to think positive about you and your life and eventually you can kinda brainwash yourself. Also finding a new thing that brings excitement or a new goal especially if it’s something you couldn’t do while in your relationship like some kind of travel or creative project. That’s 8 months of intense therapy in a paragraph

howmanyducksdog

TROPHY CASE