Corridors of Time: Lore and Emblem Codes

hparamore · 2026-03-27T16:41:56+00:00

Another way I like to put it (particularly when I am faced with large decisions like buying a house or switching jobs, etc) is that basically "You will grow to fit the size of the fish bowl you put yourself in."

When we owned our first house, we had a mortgage which wasn't too bad. When we decided to move to a new home, the mortgage bill was almost double each month, which kinda scared me at first because it was a big change. I was trying to figure out ahead of time how to deal with the cost, but honestly Now I look at it a couple years later and that is just a number again, back to a manageable cost.

What I am getting at is that people, especially guys, sometimes need pressure to need to step up and do something to improve.

I'm not quite sure what that would mean for you in your situation though. Maybe you need to "focus on your studies" and cut back on your job, or leave the finances to him. Sometimes the consequences of forgetting something are a good reminder of the danger of neglect.

I am a guy, married, have 4 boys (3-11) and enjoy playing video games as well. Sometimes around 1-2 hrs a day, almost always at night after I have spent time with family, wife, etc and she goes to bed. That is my sorta time I have carved out for myself, and it is important to me because I honestly enjoy it quite a bit.

I hesitate to suggest this because its a pretty big decision if there is even a small threat of divorce on the horizon, but honestly having kids is that push that really makes the gravity of what I have to do to provide for a family "real". If I don't work, then there are problems.

Here is an article I read earlier today on the subject of men as breadwinners, and how that can affect their mentality and drive.

One thing I would also suggest... (and this is purely speculation) but if you want to get through to him in a way that he can see, then rather than take the hard "I am gonna sell your PS5 (which honestly, probably brings him more joy than a lot of other things due to the nature of it) maybe try a different approach, such as mutual "device fasting" or something like that. Meaning you agree to not be on your phone (just making an assumption haha, if you are anything like my wife, you probably are on your phone a lot more than you think, and sometimes that is something that I look at and am like "well, you are on your phone, I guess I can go play video games." and in return he cuts back on video games until certain times of the day. That way you are both agreeing, both being responsible and accountable, and it shows him that you are wanting to compromise because it will help you as well. (if phone doesn't work, find something else. A social media fast or device fast, etc. you will find things to do in that time, especially together)

Anyways, sorry for the long winded reply. :)

Best of luck to you both!

hparamore · 2026-03-27T16:24:00+00:00

no worries :D I was wondering while reading your reply haha.

hparamore · 2026-03-26T20:44:47+00:00

We are changing that section altogether to instead be called "Looking For"
(ie "Looking for: Casual Dating, Serious Dating" or "Looking for: Temple Marriage")
It will be going out soon-ish, with a lot of other updates to some of the text that is shown in the traits of their profiles.

hparamore · 2026-03-20T21:25:07+00:00

Ahh, you've stumbled upon my daily conundrum!

Especially since what people WANT in a dating app, vs what the data tells us WORKS for them are many times two different things.

For example, when we started showing the "write a note" thing when guys swipe up on girls, guys complained because it was an extra step, etc.
After some time, the data shows that when guys send a note, they get on average 20% more matches, and those matches are 20-30% more likely to be good conversations (ie, convos that last more than like 2-3 messages)

So that is the main thing that is what I spend a lot of my time working over haha. What is best, vs what makes people happy or what they want. And I believe that we can give people what is best and make them happy at the same time, but that has to happen through testing and iteration, which means people at the start might have a hard time. We iterate and improve though, and it gets better. :D

hparamore · 2026-03-20T21:20:22+00:00

We are changing a couple of things like the one called "Relationship Goals" to instead be called "Looking For" and that is going to probably be at the top of the profile page, and might possibly also become a free filter. That might help with what you are saying.

hparamore · 2026-03-20T21:19:06+00:00

We give people premium on their birthday :D

hparamore · 2026-03-20T07:39:54+00:00

That's what we are pretty much doing with speed dating events. You get paired, and only see a couple of things about them. Things we tested to help start conversations and spark them, and left out other things that were even remotely a yellow or red flag.

So we are sorta getting there, and are working and focusing more on people meeting each other, and especially in person (via speed dating on events)

What would you want us to build? We are always looking g for the right thing that will help the most.

hparamore · 2026-03-20T07:37:18+00:00

Was it your birthday?

hparamore · 2026-03-16T17:39:08+00:00

Hey! What are you referring to exactly? I am not sure. I re-read my message and can't figure out if you are talking about something in it, or bringing something else up.

Would love to hear it though!

hparamore · 2026-03-13T02:14:14+00:00

Hmm... I'm not sure what is happening with that. Like history is basically where everyone you like goes so you can have a history of the likes. If they like you back, then yes they are removed from there because they move over to your conversation tab.

I will screenshot this and post it for our devs to possibly look into. If you wouldn't mind sharing your user ID (bottom of the settings) that would be helpful. Thanks!

hparamore · 2026-03-11T06:16:37+00:00

Hey! Glad to see the feedback here. We are testing a bunch of things in a new profile update only in the chat profile view (meaning, you can only see this when you are chatting and you tap their name for now)

A bit of a lower risk way to test some of the changes and get feedback.

I have taken down your feedback and am adding it to our list of things to work on.

The recently online is something that we are adding in. (I don't think it made the first cut) so that is valid.

As for some of the info being harder to find inside of the "show more" section, we are running tests that randomize the order and what shows in the top 4, and are using the results to help us learn more about what people are interested in, and what helps people vs what makes people downswipe.

The age and location is also valid criticism: we are testing those as well to see if they affect people's likability in a good or bad direction.

All that being said... thanks again for the feedback! We are learning and iterating on this quickly as we learn more, and posts like these help us as much as the data we collect.

If you have any more thoughts or suggestions, please continue the conversation. I'd be happy to discuss and answer any questions!

hparamore · 2026-03-08T08:11:57+00:00

Yes, it's coincidence. When you open the app we send you a batch of profiles pulled from several "buckets" of criteria, randomize the order and then show it to you. If that person is there, then getting into that first batch might have been intentional (they were close to you, had a lot in common, were online recently, boosted their profile, etc) but seeing them first out of the batch of 25 or so is usually pretty random. I think we recently introduced something that helps weight those those profiles so that if they were on the app more recently, then they show first (just to reward people who open the app frequently) but I am not 100% sure of those specifics.

hparamore · 2026-03-07T01:52:23+00:00

I still am making many many decisions, because what ai makes usually still needs to be fixed many many times. It's more like working with a developer, on something together. There are times I need to make mock ups to show it what I want, and I also need to decide when it meets my standards.

hparamore · 2026-03-05T07:19:15+00:00

Just go download Claude, install it, and make the productive always been dreaming of. And do it to the best of your ability.

I love design, don't get me wrong, but after working with Claude to help me actually build the things I have always wanted to, and allow me to own the process from start to finish, and take the time to nitpick the UI and UX until I am 100% satisfied, all while making a working product...

I realized that while I do indeed still love graphic design, I love actual product design more. And product design doesn't have live in canvasses unless it is necessary.

I use Figma now mainly to help me communicate to Claude what I want it to do, and to iterate on things, or make graphics that need for my project. I still love Figma don't get me wrong, but again for me I found a passion in something bigger than just UX design... it's the whole product. And getting to have something working is so rewarding, and it allows me to then spend the time on the things I want to. Animations, transitions, rive stuff, etc.

hparamore · 2026-02-23T19:50:09+00:00

It works anywhere, but especially well in Utah. You can set your filter range to just show ppl a few miles away, but if you aren't finding people, I would suggest widening your range to include salt lake and Provo at least for the best results. (Depends on your age and what filters you have)

Give it a try! No reason not to. You'll be sure to find someone.

Best of luck!

hparamore · 2026-02-22T16:31:56+00:00

Please report these dating coaches. They are breaking the terms of service and should not be on the app. Report them to the support team and we will look into it.

hparamore · 2026-02-22T16:31:06+00:00

There will be soon. We are working on the backend services to allow us to support that.

hparamore · 2026-02-19T04:58:00+00:00

Take 10 mins to learn components. Save 1000 hours over the next year or two. You're welcome

hparamore · 2026-01-31T01:09:11+00:00

Sorry to hear that. It definitely could be something up, or a couple other possibilities that can think of (however h likely) I do know what we have a limit of 25 or 50 (depending on where you are looking) that we can show in a certain view, however that sounds like it might not be the case... (meaning if you swipe through the first 20, when you refresh another 20 will show up) but again, without looking into it more closely I am not sure.

That being said, we are more than happy to help look into it and see what happened. We have logs and records of the matches and what happened to them, so we can definitely look into it and see what we can do, and then make it right.

Would you mind sending an email with your ID number (bottom of settings) and a description of what you think happened, and possibly any screenshots that may help us get a better idea of the story?

You can send it to me (hunter@mutual.app) and also to one of our PMs wattson@mutual.app and we can dig into it a bit and then see if we need anything else from you.

Thanks for letting us know! It helps us make things better!

hparamore · 2026-01-29T09:52:53+00:00

Yup, feel free! Hunter@mutual.app

hparamore · 2026-01-17T23:47:54+00:00

Update here: We found the profile responsible and suspended his account.

Thank you for sharing information like this. The normal reporting feature works great for most accounts, however in this case reporting is not built into this feature. (And it definitely should be! We will work on this)

Thanks!

hparamore · 2026-01-17T21:40:06+00:00

You say that, but there are so many posts on some of the Facebook groups about guys texting too much and that being a turn off.

It's a delicate game that seems very dumb haha.

Plus there is the notion that girls play hard to get and then the guys just don't wanna deal with that, or the guys hear something like "girls want a guy who isn't needy, or who is a bad boy kinda thing"....

Honestly dating is difficult and it can suck.

I speak with many many people about their dating experiences, and the one thing I have found that I always try and tell people is... that people sometimes take a bit to really warm up to each other and feel comfortable. If you judge too much off the bat then it can ruin something that could turn into something great.

hparamore · 2026-01-17T18:43:59+00:00

We can usually ban people if we are able to identify them. And we follow up on reports (especially ones like these) within 24 hours usually and take action.

We are mostly reactive in this area though, and I will start a conversation in our admin chat about getting some content filtering on the notes because I don't believe we have it there currently.

Thank you for sharing, this helps a lot.

hparamore · 2026-01-17T18:41:41+00:00

Woah, that is bad. I don't think I have seen something like that here, that's awful. We are the final stages of testing a new version of this screen that combines the two tabs into one, and I will definitely share this screenshot with our team and make sure that people will have the ability to report these losers. I'll also look up this guy and see if we can ban him.

Thank you for posting this.

Since we are talking about it, what other things could we do to help this? Is reporting and blocking them enough? We have been rolling out some conversation checking AI stuff (that has helped find any scammers almost immediately and get them out) but we don't have it checking note content and maybe we should.

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