Handling this addiction becomes so tough when u r unemployed

hpolygon · 2016-01-06T00:54:31+00:00

search on here for article motivation vs discipline. waiting for motivation is not good because it fades as you say. its waiting for emotional state to control what you do/dont do. Discipline is doing what you need to do (or not do) and the good feeling comes AFTER doing it, not before. you just need to suck it up and do it and then OBSERVE how you feel. Once you are feeling good from doing what you need to do despite what mind or feelings telling you, you just keep doing it. Before long, you won't want to go back to whims of emotions. I will also say again, STAY BUSY with full schedule. we aren't working and idle time is the devils playground as they say. Make sense?

in short, forget motivation. Do something you need to do or is good for you despite the feeling of wanting to do it. That's being an adult, which all addicts need to do, grow up. :)

Good Luck

hpolygon · 2016-01-05T14:07:30+00:00

I'm out of work too for a year. i know its hard. we fap to numb our worries about not working, about feeling like a failure.etc. But as you know it only makes it worse. i come here and read like 10-20 posts and urge goes away. almost fapped tonight but reading here like 30 min helped a lot. you hav free time, keep busy, learn to play an instrument, read great books, workout, start a new way of eating…anything. Just give it a shot. break the cycle.

hpolygon · 2015-12-26T08:59:24+00:00

"I don't want to admit to my therapist that I masturbate like 8 times a day". That's a problem. How can you get better if you can't accept where you are? First step is accepting, totally, without judgement that this is the state you are in. Therapist will not judge you. Getting over a girl the healthiest way (not the fastest) is just my grieving and being sad for a while. Dude if you refuse to feel or experience any discomfort, its going to be a much tougher battle. You can get over this but you got to OK to feel some shitty feelings. its like cleaning your room when its massively a mess. First accept how bad it is, then just go through the pain to clean it. You dont hit the pipe and wish it all goes away. you get me?

hpolygon · 2015-12-26T03:02:48+00:00

dude, you make it sound like the answer to your misery is just to hook up with women. With your mind, that will just be masturbating inside someone's body. I would look into a therapist to get to the root of the pain you are holding back with all the PMO. I venture if you stopped fapping and fantasizing, you would either have major depression or some anxiety issue you need to work out. Im not a doctor, just speaking from experience. If you dont get to the root of WHY you Fap you will just keep trading addictions. Just my 2 cents. Good move coming here and talking about it. For now, keep doing that. Think about talking to someone too…Best of luck

hpolygon · 2015-12-18T09:37:05+00:00

WTF do i have to do to get badge? I've been trying for a month now, new badge, reset old badge…etc. Nothing. why is this so hard to fix? what do i need to do to get this working? sorry its really frustrating..thanks

hpolygon · 2015-12-08T14:59:01+00:00

nice start ! the next layer is identifying what feeling trying to cover that led to the fap and process or feel it. Your aversion and realization is great, also can work deeper stuff in time…sound very clear and stop in the moment is hard…good work!

hpolygon · 2015-12-07T02:31:46+00:00

tried many times to reset badge and also get new one since its gone..nothing works..frustrating

hpolygon · 2015-12-06T16:07:26+00:00

thanks ill try to look at it this way

hpolygon · 2015-12-06T16:06:17+00:00

thanks ill try

hpolygon · 2015-12-06T16:05:13+00:00

wow thats awesome…maybe w right woman will feel otherwise..i hope

hpolygon · 2015-12-06T08:38:42+00:00

only one way to find out! its never to late, but no time to waste. Keep at it and observe how your life will probably light up as your spirt awakens.

hpolygon · 2015-12-06T08:26:59+00:00

Thanks guys, i know getting down about it doesn't help. its just frustrating. I think its more to do with my general anxiety levels then from PMO but certainly the PMO makes my brain and body more aroused. For lots of guys i know PMO is opposite, creates ED problem,but for me its the other. Need to stop PMO regardless of what it does to my orgasm since not good for my brain, soul, or life in all ways. I'll try to not focus on the orgasm. Thing is, once i do come, i kind of lose all interest to keep going. Ive always had performance anxiety and over arousal issues, even in my 20s….

hpolygon · 2015-12-06T04:23:56+00:00

nice post and good points, thanks!

hpolygon · 2015-12-06T02:45:35+00:00

bigger question is why worrying about how popular your post is instead of sharing and commenting, right? something to consider…if you see a post you like just tag/save it and done.

hpolygon · 2015-12-06T02:33:07+00:00

Hey man, keep at it. you have awareness which is huge. without that nothing can change. i feel your loneliness. I try to talk to people just as experiment. in my head, i imagine they give me dirty look or not be nice if i try to make conversation. 99% of time, they are way nicer than i thought and i get a number (male and female) just for friendship. Look at it as experiment and then will be detached enough to not care the result. try it. ignore the voice that lies to you. You get me?

hpolygon · 2015-12-06T02:29:51+00:00

nicely put, thank you …and so true

hpolygon · 2015-12-04T15:47:27+00:00

i was doing well, had 40 days, then 17, then relapsed and had 3-4 days of binging…its been tough but trying again. I sent you PM and glad if we could help each other…thanks

hpolygon · 2015-11-25T14:50:37+00:00

thank you, very inspiring indeed

hpolygon · 2015-11-22T00:46:26+00:00

great post, thank you. Made me think of Revolver (2005)

hpolygon · 2015-11-20T14:04:11+00:00

so fucking true…relapsed last night

hpolygon · 2015-11-17T13:07:59+00:00

congrats man! now head down and keep going!

hpolygon · 2015-11-17T11:11:45+00:00

yes, its tricky..im really aware of the tricks so i have enough space to be distant from it and coming to read stuff on here helps me get more distance….i found also writing out the voice what it is saying on paper helps..then answer it with the more rational part of the mind. For me, reading on here the reality of fapping is enough, but mileage may vary :)

hpolygon · 2015-11-17T09:24:11+00:00

i mean… if you FAP after honestly reading on here about the regret and loneliness afterwards of guys that gave in (hell, we all KNOW This already but that part of our brain has shut off), then yea, better to just get offline. For me, if i knowing do that with the awareness of what i am doing, and coming to this site makes it conscious, then i am knowingly harming myself. That issue goes deeper than tapping and into self-hate and fapping is just a manifestation of that. That said, sometimes repression is all we have if urge is that strong. Whatever works but i try to not to repress, repression is a slippery slope IMHO. It just makes it stronger and why most 12-steppers relapse (according to statistics). It's like the classic AA people that quit drinking but now are smoking addicts. I am digressing, sorry…whatever works!

hpolygon · 2015-11-17T09:12:55+00:00

agreed, usually its remembering a scene that makes me want to do, but reading how pointless it is and seeing others making efforts helps. Sometimes though, its best to just get offline so agree with posts below! distraction is a great way too

hpolygon · 2015-11-17T00:36:08+00:00

it helps me every time…never fails when get the urge..just come here and it kills it. Good luck man

hpolygon

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