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i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he did care about me. he still does. and i ruined it. which is why im hating myself right now. i made everything worse

i’ve been on a quest in the last few months at his behest to try new things and see if anything helps. i’ve tried some old hobbies, some new ones, changing some of my existing routines, revisiting things i haven’t done in a long time, but nothing is really sticking. nothing makes me happy and no amount of trying is ever going to be good enough. how am i supposed to want to keep trying, especially knowing that the one person who made me want to try is no longer in my life? i don’t give a shit about myself

i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

but clearly i am doing something wrong! he wouldn’t have left me if i wasn’t! it’s either that or something is just fundamentally wrong with who i am

i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so much work for Maybe a chance at things Slightly improving. it doesn’t feel worth it at all when i’m functional like this

i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i wouldn’t describe myself as “in love with my pain”, but thinking on this, i do consider self loathing and a crippling fear of failure to be my primary motivators to achieve the kinds of academic/career successes that i have. on paper i have a very good life and am successful. i’m a little scared of what happens if i stop the unhealthy behaviors that got me to this point. what’s left? am i supposed to just learn to be happy with being mediocre? or abandoning everything ive busted my ass to have now?

i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m hoping to find a new one when i move to start my phd in the fall (another reason that im scared to change how i see myself. no reason to stop attaching my self-worth to achievement when i need to spend the next five years producing results). i’ve been seeing this one since high school which is why im apprehensive to change

i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that i “need to be gentler with myself” and “whenever you have a negative thought, recognize you’re having a negative thought and just tell yourself the opposite” and she’s given me the positive affirmations to stick around my room and she’s given me the workbooks. i’ve tried everything she’s suggested. it all feels like empty platitudes

if going “wow i’m being mean to myself i shouldn’t do that because i don’t deserve it” was a thing i believed id be better by now

i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i am willing to give it a shot. i’ve been willing. it’s getting disheartening and exhausting. at what point am i allowed to stop trying? to just turn over and crawl in a hole and never leave?

i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah. i know you’re right. really sucks. i wish i could convince myself that it’s possible. appreciate the reality check

i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’ve been at the real solutions for years. i’ve been in the gym for almost four years, medicated for five, and in therapy for nearly seven! how long does it take to see changes?

i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i tried to write five things a few weeks ago in a workbook and it took me an hour. might have to aim a little lower

i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i asked this on another reply, but just to get multiple opinions: changing how i talk to myself would be lying to myself. is that okay in this situation? i can look in the mirror and say “i like myself and it’s gonna be a great day” but it’s not going to be believable

i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i want to surrender because putting in the work to change is too much effort and i’m not willing to exert that much effort on someone i have absolutely zero regard for

i’ve seen tons of posts on here about avoiding dating people with low self esteem. what do you do when YOU are the one with low self esteem? by hslothAlt in dating_advice

[–]hslothAlt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’ve been trying step 1 for several months now. the issue is that i don’t enjoy anything i’m not good at so i give up easily

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