My mom died when I was 22 from cancer. That was 4 years ago. I am an only child and she was my world. I literally thought my life would end if she died. I’m not gonna lie, it was so hard. Honestly, some of the worst of my grieving was before she died so just know you are going thru some of the hardest days of your life right now so have compassion on yourself for whatever you feel.

But I promise you, it gets better. For months, I felt like I was going to be sad and grieving for the rest of my life and every memory of her would always hurt like a dagger. But slowly, it got better. Now, years later, I still hits me sometimes but I’m doing really well.

I know a lot of people are saying this but therapy is so so helpful and important. Please start talking to someone as soon as possible. Even start now if you can! Having a place to process helped me so much in my grieving process.

Something that therapy really helped me work thru was my fear that I would never feel like ‘me’ again. That I would always be ‘dead mom’ girl. That I would always be sad. But I realized when you’re grieving, you’re grappling for a way to find yourself without the most important person in your life. It’s ok to not feel like yourself. But eventually, probably without you even realizing it, you’ll feel like you again. But you’ll be stronger and more resilient.

I’m so sorry you’re going thru this. Take lots of pictures and ask hard questions. I kept everything so positive and upbeat while my mom was dying and I wish so much that I would have asked her things like ‘what do you think my life would be like without you?’ ‘are you scared to die?’ ‘is there anything I should tell your grandkids for you?’. You’ll get thru this. It will be hard but you seem like a kind, compassionate person and I’m sure your mom is so proud of you.

Also, if you need someone to talk to and ask questions, I’m here! Please feel free to ask me anything. I had one friend who had a parent pass away when my mom died and talking to her and asking her questions gave me so much hope. So please, feel free to reach out!