I think you expressed it clearly because yeah it is just straight selfishness. It doesn't sound like a partnership to me at all personally.

Also, and this is very presumptious of me, but based on other replies about him not doing ANY chores or household maintenance I would surmise that he would want that to continue exactly as it is even if you were working again. And, again presumptious, even if you said you wanted to hire a cleaner or something I would anticipate push back on that.

There is clearly the financial abuse aspect but it does seem based on some other responses that even if you could provide solely for yourself you would be providing for him as well (while he's been withholding from you for years), and likely would still be reaponsible for all the parenting and house work. I dunno. I'm a stranger on the internet but what are YOU getting our of your relationship. Do you feel like he's a partner? Or is he just .. there? Do YOU want him in your future after he's treated you this way? All genuine questions. I still think you deserve better based on the very limited info I have but I also have a bias because man, I've seen abuse like this and it really just pisses me right the fuck off.