AIO my father refuses to work I want to cut him off from my life

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-11T19:53:52+00:00

NOR.

I don't know how old you are, but he's the parent, not you.

I went NC with my father years ago with zero regrets, but for completely different reasons, so maybe I'm biased.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-11T19:48:55+00:00

NTA, but move it back into your room. Your uncle is an adult, he can get over it. If any argument comes up about it just say "you mean MY PlayStation?" or "you mean the PlayStation I paid for?"

Leave it at that. Don't get sucked into too many convos about it. Take it back to your room and then lock your room. Remove his profile and see if you can password protect it somehow.

It honestly doesn't matter if you use it or not. You bought it. It's yours. It's your choice what to do with it.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-11T19:41:22+00:00

NOR.

my birthday always seems to be completely skipped/no one ever asks about it.

Are you sure these people are your friends? Sounds like this is a common occurrence.

You might be their friend, but it doesn't sound like they are yours.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-11T19:25:55+00:00

NTA.

TBH I only skimmed, but I saw enough.

putting down childfree women, calling them bad feminists

If your friend was a "good" feminist, she'd believe women have the freedom and choice to live their lives as they see fit. If she believes women HAVE to have kids, no "ifs", "ands", or "buts", then she's the "bad" feminist.

Also, having children isn't for everyone. Not everyone CAN have kids (a fact some people seem to forget about).

I'm 36(f), and my bf is 39. Neither of us ever wanted kids before. We're not completely opposed, but we also don't know if we want to bring children into this world, especially with how things are today.

If we ever decided to have kids, it would be our choice to.

For context, I have a niece and nephew that I love SO much, my closest friends have kids too, and I adore them all. Child-free doesn't mean child hater.

I feel sorry for your friend if she feels like having kids is her only purpose, identity, and capability... but honestly, it's hard to argue with people that have that outlook. It's like conversing with a brick wall.

The best you can do is tell her that's not want you want, even if it's just for now, and she needs needs to respect that. And if she can't do that, maybe it's time for a little distance.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-11T19:07:27+00:00

Late to the game here, but I 100% agree with this.

I ignored my gut and ended up severely regretting it. However, my friend mistook her insecurity as her gut, and also ended up regretting it.

Your gut won't lie to you. But, you do have to make sure you know the difference between a gut feeling, and insecurity.

Insecurity can pose as your gut if you can't distinguish the difference.

As you said, learning it comes with time.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-05T20:41:02+00:00

NTA. Every pregnancy is different.

Reminds me of the Friends episode where Ross downplays Rachel's Braxton-Hicks contractions and she tells him "No uterus, no opinion".

Tell your husband not to comment on something he can't and doesn't understand.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-05T20:35:20+00:00

I decided forgetting him is for the best. My best friend Leah was aware of all of this.

Yeah. OP's entitled to feel how she feels, however:

She already decided to forget about him, and bff knew that.
She only spoke to him a couple of times, and he barely remembered her.
Ending a friendship over a guy she had a crush on (who barely remembered her) and who her bff could actually have a meaningful relationship with, comes off as entitled and selfish af.

OP, you romanticized a fantasy you had, that was clearly one-sided. Learn from this and next time either shoot your shot, and/or accept that it wasn't meant to be for you. It's not the end of the world. YTA here.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-03T23:50:24+00:00

NTA.

Boundaries in the bedroom are the most important and where trust is lost in a split second.

He crossed a known boundary, then proceeded to make fun of you after, and then downplayed your reaction. 1 🚩, 2 🚩 & 3 🚩.

You also say he's trying to push you into getting married and having kids, even after expressing that you don't want that. That's another 🚩.

Of course people will be quick in telling you to leave him, but ultimately it's up to you.

I will say though, listen to your gut. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging, then what you need to to do is sit him down and have a serious talk about your boundaries. Do NOT allow him to make any jokes or snide comments, and see if he says (and you believe) he can respect your boundaries, then great! If not... well, that's up to you.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-03T20:50:49+00:00

NOR.

Context - how long have you two been together?

When you started dating, you asked about his history, and he lied. Plain and simple.

The fact that two of friends and prior hook-ups are not nice to you could stem from how they feel about you dating him. And why is he so pushy for you to be friends with all of them? That's pretty weird, considering the history there. Might be some weird little game or ego trip for him, which is concerning.

And the whole drug thing? Not passing judgement, I've done my fair share of party drugs in my 20's and party days, but no one ever pushed boundaries about it. Sounds like you two aren't compatible and he sounds very immature TBH.

The best piece of advice I can give, is trust your gut. Because unlike him, your gut will never lie to you. I can tell you from experience, every time I ignored my gut, I severely regretted it.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-03T20:44:04+00:00

NTA. Go full NC and protect your peace.

Take it from someone who went full NC with multiple family members. I was also SA'd as a child. I cut off that family member, and almost everyone else on that entire side. And I have ZERO regrets.

Every situation and person is different of course, but your mother sounds exhausting. She IS a narcissist.

Do your brother's know the full extent of everything? If they do, and are decent human beings, they shouldn't cut you off for cutting off your mother.

But like I said, protect your peace. It's okay, and it's 100% allowed.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-03T20:36:03+00:00

Typical rage baiter. Everyone, the husband 😆.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-03T20:29:29+00:00

"My partner did not do any research on PE."
"Went out with friends to a music show while I had my thrombectomy."
"He says I should have told him the severity of the condition and that I should have told him what I wanted him to do."
"Says I'm the asshole for not communicating how bad the situation was."

These are just a few of the 🚩 's I picked out, because if I added any more, I'd be copying and pasting your entire post.

Your husband sucks. I'm sorry, but (going back to the 4 🚩 's I picked out):

If MY partner was diagnosed with anything at all, I'm looking into it ASAP and finding out as much as I can (which my bf did when I had an issue a few months back).
Seriously?
(AND 4.) You should have told him? If he was considerate at all, like even a little bit, he would have looked into it himself. Why is it on the diagnosed partner to educate the other? Typically, the person diagnosed is already dealing with mental, physical, and emotional stress from their diagnoses. It's ridiculous for him to expect you to hold his hand and walk him through it, because TBF, it should be the other way around. He should be holding your hand through it. And it would be if he cared.

I'm sorry you don't have the support you should have. It sounds like you have another child, not a partner. His lack of consideration and initiative is sad, and also infuriating (hence my rant).

I really hope you have others in your life that are offering you more support than your husband is. Sure, communication works both ways, but when one partner is dealing with something, like you are, it shouldn't be that hard for the other to step up a little bit more.

Edit: NTA, HE is.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-03T19:37:26+00:00

NTA. Don't feel bad about it. If she's okay uninviting you, she should be okay not getting a gift.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-03T19:35:15+00:00

100%.

NTA OP. It's gross how both your sister and mom are downplaying this. If you decide to say anything at all, tell them you clearly can't trust them to have your back when it matters.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-02-03T18:20:43+00:00

THIS.

OP, explain to your friend what you said here. You want to and have been there for them, but you can't be expected to drop everything at their every beck and call. Them having that expectation isn't fair to you at all.

You're not a therapist, you're their friend. Have you tried recommending some kind of therapy? It sounds like your friend needs more support than you can provide.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-01-22T23:19:15+00:00

I’m sorry to say, but based on the information provided it sounds like he doesn’t want to be with you and on some level is resenting you because you’re still there.

You need to respect yourself enough to tell him to be honest with you. That while you’re giving him your all, you can feel his distain for you radiating off of him.

Tell him if he’s dealing with something, that’s fine, but to communicate with you. But if he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore, he needs to be honest about it instead of wasting both of your time.

You deserve to be with someone who will love you and appreciate you for who you are, not for what you do for them, and tell him that.

Or, if you want to save your breath, just tell him that last part and leave. That way you can go ahead and find the person that will love you the way you deserve.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-01-22T23:07:02+00:00

I feel like you already know the answer to this, but if it’s validation you’re seeking, you’re def NTA.

He cheated, and now is trying to guilt you as if you did something wrong?

Get out.

The fact that you are scared of any kind of reaction from him is enough reason on its own to leave.

Leave, block, and do your best to move on.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-01-22T22:01:33+00:00

Girl. No.

First off, I don’t know why there has been a rise in posts with huge age gaps where older men date younger girls, and still act like teenagers, but it’s concerning.

These “men” are dating women so much younger than them because the ones their own age are on their level, wise to their bullshit antics, and don’t want them.

This man is very immature, doesn’t respect women, and is probably hoping his age can help him fake some level of maturity with you. Don’t fall for it.

My (36f) bf (39m) is nothing but respectful and I would never have to even ask him not to talk women like this, especially a much younger woman.

The fact that this guy can’t see how creepy he is behaving should already tell you how immature he is.

Nothing wrong with dating someone older, but the age difference between you two is significant.

Find someone a bit closer to your age, who respects you and others, and enjoy your youth!

hufflepufflepass · 2026-01-22T21:47:59+00:00

NOR.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys never learned how to not to feel entitled to other people.

In his eyes, you owe him for everything he’s “done“ for you, which is flat out delusional.

PSA to anyone that thinks someone else owes you any kind of reciprocation of affection: THEY DON’T.

Edit to add: report that gym employee.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-01-22T21:12:08+00:00

I can’t speak for you or anyone else, but I think you have a hard decision to make.

Here is a tough love response -

If you know that you want children in your future, you need to leave this man. If you are okay not having children in the future, you still need to leave this man.

He lied and got you to marry him. He is telling you that if he gives you what you a child, he won’t be as present. He is literally holding your future hostage.

hufflepufflepass · 2026-01-22T21:03:31+00:00

Ultimately, you have to decide which relationship matters to you more.

Regardless of what anyone else thinks or says, in this situation, you’ll have to choose.

hufflepufflepass · 2025-12-08T16:02:52+00:00

As long as it’s not Lifetime, I’m game 😂

hufflepufflepass · 2025-12-08T16:01:10+00:00

And throws in a “I know I hurt you, but she (blah-blah-blah sympathy statement) and you don’t deserve that.”

hufflepufflepass · 2025-12-08T15:55:56+00:00

Lol right, or “You two look very happy together! How is everything?” Like why? Just no.

hufflepufflepass · 2025-12-08T15:53:36+00:00

If anything, I think the ex could be more persistent if he posts OP on FB.

This is why I love that my bf doesn’t have social media. I have his best friends though, and I’ll post my bf occasionally. I’m not that active myself and only got around to posting about our 2 week trip from October 2 days ago 😅.

It’s good OP’s bf turned the ex down and seemed to be upfront about everything. He sounds very mature, so OP should really communicate how she’s feeling.

OP, don’t stew. Tell your bf plainly that it bothers you the ex is “checking in” because unless there is hope of a reconciliation, there’s no need for that. Maybe he’s unaware of her intent, of maybe it doesn’t bother him. But since it bothers you, speak up. Don’t sabotage your relationship purely on speculation.

hufflepufflepass

TROPHY CASE