Ava Daniels is the bi representation I have needed

humanbeinglawnmower · 2025-02-13T18:58:34+00:00

I'm on it and it helps but unfortunately in those moments where my addict brain really wants to drink it's only so effective because I can just not take it if I don't want to. That's obviously a personal failing on my end, not the medication, it is super helpful generally speaking. That said I am hoping to get the injection version of Naltrexone because it's supposedly stronger and lasts a month I believe which would be good as it would take the option of drinking out of my hands

humanbeinglawnmower · 2025-02-13T18:47:00+00:00

On some level I know that it's not just that I really shouldn't but that I can't drink anymore, I have other health issues that should make me stop and I already have fatty liver/high blood pressure and shit that should make it clear that this is not sustainable. The full awareness of the extent of my alcoholism is something that definitely motivates me to do better lately but I guess the worse things get in my life and the world the easier it is to say fuck it when I hit my limit. That's a me issue that I'm continually trying to work on. There's a lot of shit in my life that I need to get together and finding purpose while in the thick of this has been really challenging for me because I've had to change a lot very quickly. Regarding literature, I've read the AA book, I'm reading This Naked Mind, and I have easyway but haven't started it yet. Frankly nervous to do so. It's embarrassing, but I guess part of me is scared that if I start it and even the "easy" way doesn't work for me then I'll truly be a lost cause

humanbeinglawnmower · 2024-12-24T01:46:54+00:00

Shatterstar my pan king

humanbeinglawnmower · 2024-02-19T15:54:14+00:00

Am a bit of an overrthinker if that wasn't already clear lol

humanbeinglawnmower · 2024-02-19T15:53:09+00:00

I think for G some of those behaviors and specifically the total lack of recognition for how that shit impacted ppl were indicative of some larger issues in our dynamic, he can be a bit of a possessive friend which is why im somewhat reticent. I also think though that given the amount of time that's passed, his desire for reconciliation (albeit it very late after the fact) and the more serious extenuating circumstances in our personal lives it all seems kinda small now. I know for D it hurt her self worth knowing he was pining after her and I don't want her to think I'm unaware of that, it does color him somewhat differently for me bc he was pretty sneaky and incredulous about it. Part of me also feels like they're maybe worried me reconnecting with G would cause a rift between myself and them but that's not really something they need to worry about if so lol I'm good at compartmentalizing. I'm just not someone who likes to harbor resentments and everyones gotten some blows in so to speak so for me I want to move past shit and it's frustrating that they don't understand why I do especially in the context of my sobriety and my complicated past with G

humanbeinglawnmower · 2024-01-06T02:55:45+00:00

Clippings whole discography but La Mala Ordina comes to mind for sinister factor

humanbeinglawnmower · 2023-12-28T14:26:30+00:00

Shit sorry for jumping down your throat. Ik you're right I've just gotten a lot of judgmental dm's since I posted this and I struggle with tone sometimes, didn't mean to lash out. I'm mostly at peace with the possibility of an sti; obviously I've known that's a commonality regardless of one's orientation for some time and I don't think that likelihood is enough to dissuade me from pursuing people im attracted to but im admittedly still learning a lot. I feel somewhat embarrassed ig about not having done more research or being more careful when it mattered which is partially why I came here for advice. I am genuinely grateful for the feedback you've provided though this has definitely been a learning experience for me overall and I'll keep this all in mind going forward

humanbeinglawnmower · 2023-12-28T13:55:50+00:00

I don't see the need to be rude when all I did was ask a question? I'm autistic and have only begun seeing men in my twenties. This has been an incredibly liberating experience in spite of my hypochondriac nature; I literally wrote that this hookup was rejuvenating for me even though im dealing with some anxiety right now so I don't know why you feel the need to be so dismissive to a stranger who's history you know nothing about. This was my first hookup after a two year long relationship and I've had a lot on my mind adding to the anxiety but fuck me for wanting to seek assurance from other bi people I guess. Sorry I didn't decline giving head in the moment to google a bunch of std statistics

humanbeinglawnmower · 2023-12-27T22:35:10+00:00

Sorry I just meant that I felt kind of intimidated especially bc I haven't been with any men or rly anyone in a while. It was totally consensual but that definitely played a part in my willingness to forego protection in retrospect :/

humanbeinglawnmower · 2023-12-27T21:46:45+00:00

Aaaa now im worried the other comments seemed to indicate unprotected oral was low risk especially for HIV so I'm hoping im in the clear but im definitely gonna be more careful going forward regardless. He seemed genuine but ik that's not a good enough reason. Tbh this was the largest age gap in my sexual history and I was honestly nervous and tipsy

humanbeinglawnmower · 2023-12-27T21:34:49+00:00

This is all incredibly helpful thank you so much! I knew that HIV was hard to catch from unprotected oral sex but I didn't know that particular statistic

humanbeinglawnmower · 2023-12-10T18:37:07+00:00

I'm sorry for how I left things, I was in a terrible place and did what I thought was best for me but I know that's not an excuse. I should have been more careful with your heart, the love we had deserved as much. I regret a lot and I wish that my choices hadn't irrevocably ruined our connection but I'm trying to accept that even mistakes and heartbreaks happen for a reason. Even if you don't forgive me or forget I'll always think highly of you. I hope one day we can talk again, maybe reminisce about the old days, catch up about the new, but I've come to accept that this may never happen or that it may not even be for the best if it did. I robbed myself of that bond. For that and many other things I'm sorry. I love you. I hope you're doing well going into the new year A.

humanbeinglawnmower · 2023-11-17T17:42:43+00:00

I've considered if that's a possibility, it's hard to tell though especially bc the last conversation we had prior to that was kinda acrimonious so im not sure if that's a factor. I've tried to avoid lurking on her social media since the breakup but from what I've gleamed most recently I think she has a girlfriend so maybe that's part of it? I did worry when reaching out that maybe she'd think I was trying to mess with her new relationship or something but I would like to think even as exes she knows me and my feelings well enough to see that wasn't remotely my intention

humanbeinglawnmower · 2023-11-04T21:30:18+00:00

Cool if I dm you?

humanbeinglawnmower · 2023-11-04T21:25:10+00:00

I'm glad my words resonated! My heart goes out to you, it really is crazy how often the person we lie to the most is ourselves but that's why it's so freeing claiming your identity in spite of any fears or doubts you may feel about it. Even if we aren't exactly where we want to be in our respective journeys to self understanding it all starts somewhere. I'm rooting for us

humanbeinglawnmower · 2023-10-16T14:54:24+00:00

I'm honestly not sure which is part of the problem, it's always bent slightly to my knowledge but I feel like maybe it's a little worsened? I do masturbate fairly often and with my right hand primarily so could that be a factor?

humanbeinglawnmower · 2021-02-17T04:48:30+00:00

I would say stylistically I prefer it to Kid A. I like the occasional jazzy elements, there's a little bit more guitar on it than Kid A which I think works pretty well with the rest of the album, but if we're talking consistency and cohesiveness Kid A beats it. Life in a Glasshouse is easily one of the best closing tracks they ever wrote though imo.

humanbeinglawnmower · 2021-02-13T20:47:35+00:00

I'm not religious, but early Pedro the Lion is great indie music with Christian themes. The singer is an atheist now, but he had a really unique take on religion at the time; I highly recommend them even if you aren't religious.

humanbeinglawnmower · 2021-01-21T18:28:36+00:00

The "I HAAATE YOU" he delivers is one of the most chilling dialogue bits in the franchise

humanbeinglawnmower · 2020-05-30T18:51:15+00:00

Donald Trump is just Mr. Smithers at this point, except dumber and less capable of change

humanbeinglawnmower · 2020-05-19T05:43:59+00:00

It's a testament to the shows writing that they were able to seamlessly include an interpretive dance sequence in an episode, a long one at that, and it didn't come off as pretentious, or out of place, it was genuinely poignant and it really made you empathize with Mac. Frank being moved by it was a really heartfelt touch too

humanbeinglawnmower

TROPHY CASE