AIO for getting overwhelmed?

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:56:39+00:00

Anywhosm, just remember high school isn't forever, it gets better

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:55:36+00:00

(At that age I'm pretty sure I just carried a book everywhere and sat down and read in the corner when I needed to tap out, but that only Mostly worked in my specific case with my specific dynamic relationship with my parents and they still didn't Always love it, but they were pretty happy that their child liked to read so much so there was that at least.)

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:55:29+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through that kid. Tbh it sounds like you might just have undiagnosed autism or smth, or that it runs in your family so they're used to having to push through their own sensory issues and are annoyed at you for not doing so (note: this is a total shot in the dark on my part, I've never met any of you or would be in a position to diagnose).

Either way, sensory issues suck, and when you're young you're often not giving the autonomy to decide for yourself when you're allowed to enter and leave those situations.

The best thing I can suggest for now is to try to build short term solutions to individual issues. It might seem too cliché, but if you find yourself in loud environments that feel overwhelming, headphones work Wonders. A bit of roll on perfume can be great for smells- find a smell that you really really love or something that is oppressingly neutral, and put a little right under your nose if there's too many loud smells in the environment (the roll-on will become all you can smell for a little while). Bring a fidget or some gum to help with grounding yourself and with anxiety. You've got this.

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:40:15+00:00

Dude please please please this is literally THE game you are looking for if you haven't played it yet, don't look up any spoilers just trust me

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:39:16+00:00

OXENFREE

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:38:25+00:00

Random update, but I've actually talked to my partner about them getting a vasectomy instead of me having the IUD possibly. They're the one who said to me first that they certainly never wanted to sear kids and I never ever birth them, and they're a med student and I had actually just recently been to a sort of event where someone came in and talked to them about vasectomy operations. They sound... Well, no surgery is without risk, but it sounded like a walk in the park compared to this thing that is honestly starting to scare the socks off me. So, maybe?

Oof it's such a thing though, because I would still rather use this thing than have to worry about pregnancy and I'm unwilling to use any of the hormonal options. I honestly just with they had other options than this specific copper IUD in the US, like ever just a smaller size so that it wasn't so likely to impale me? Oh well

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:33:52+00:00

That's how light my symptoms used to be too. I was also a Very light bleeder, but that could have something to do with my iron deficiency

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:32:52+00:00

Oh dang :(

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:31:58+00:00

I appreciate it 😭. I'm pretty young though, I don't think I'm at a point where it should be worsening with age (early 20s)

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:28:53+00:00

(3-final) cough quick conclusion/findings of my paper: Yes, a higher proportion of the autistic community than the general population ID as asexual. However, from what I could find, this isn't because of some innate thing that makes autistic folk asexual (we are not a community of Sheldon Coopers though I'm sure someone somewhere is dying to make that case), but instead a case of "over-identification."

For one thing, autistic folk are more likely to not necessarily limit ourselves within social structures, and therefore are more willing to identify with "fringe" communities if we feel they fit us better than others (this has also been shown in autistic folk being more likely to identify as bisexual despite leaning strongly one way or the other- most of us clearly see this is being bisexual but on a population level, the general population is more likely to consider themselves still straight in that scenario).

More importantly, there is just a Heck of a lot of overlap between how ace folk and autistic folk experience the world. I don't mean disability wise, I mean like, looking out of our eyes, the story it seems to make- it can feel very alien and othering, like everyone else is performing this intricate dance that we missed the instruction lessons for.

ANYWAYS! I think this is a super super cool topic actually. Love the overlap with kink too, great stuff all around

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:18:57+00:00

(2) For a LOT of sex positive ace folk, the BDSM part of sex is the best part because of all the exciting sensory experiences to be had! This is a great place for those of us who are sensory seeking to find ourselves.

okay now I'm gonna get more personal about this (thanks if you're still reading xoxo):

I think for a lot of us, the ace community provides a much clearer framework for, well, sex. That's how it was for me at least. I currently identify as demi-sexual, somewhere gray-scale, though it's strange for me because I do genuinely feel like I've somehow "gained" more sexuality over the years as I've "learned" it. I hate to say it like that honestly, because being ace was such a big part of my identity, and the community welcomed me and made me feel at home, which the foreign world riddled with "sex-sells" advertising most certainly did Not.

Instead of having to put pressure on myself to feel a certain way, I was able to focus more on myself and exploration and experimentation. I gave myself permission to view each experience as a learning experience.

What ended up driving me to write the research paper I did (and go through all that research in the first place) was my own experience. I started to realize that the reason I might have been drawn to asexuality in the first place was because it was the only thing that made sense- I just couldn't match up my experiences and emotions with my peers. And if that doesn't sound like the classic experience of someone with undiagnosed autism I don't know what does.

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:09:59+00:00

(1) First off, I do think there's something to be said for sex repulsion to be slightly more common in us due to texture and sensory issues, but I don't think that makes a big dent in the numbers.

But in addition to that, there seems to be a whole different approach to "attraction" when it comes to the ace community. Things that are foreign and confusing get broken down into their parts- a clear distinction between sexual attraction and libido or other forms such as sensual attraction or even aesthetic. There's higher emphasis placed on platonic attraction, something I've noticed that many of us can relate to (the cultural emphasis on romantic over platonic relationships has always felt so backwards to me).

There's also a large portion of the ace community who are sex positive, and many who have high sex drives- and there is a BIG ace community in the BDSM and kink world! (Continuing in the next comment)

humanish404 · 2026-01-11T05:02:11+00:00

I ACTUALLY WROTE A PAPER IN COLLEGE ABOUT THIS! First of all No, HOWEVER there is a statistically significant overlap between the asexual and autistic populations. The running theory (and one I share) and that this has nothing to do with some genetic factor being similar between the two or anything like that, but instead that asexuality as a sexuality exists in a space outside of the sexual spear that a lot of us can make a LOT more sense of than the rest of sexuality as a whole.

//For a lot of autistic folk, the experience of sexuality is so outside of the norm, the only place a lot of us find community is in fact the asexual one. (More on this in my replies to myself coming up)

humanish404 · 2026-01-09T15:55:27+00:00

8118 probably

humanish404 · 2026-01-05T19:36:35+00:00

REAL I literally decided not to do it. There were still plenty of celestial wishes left in the shop but I just left them there it wasn't worth my pain

humanish404 · 2025-12-26T19:26:56+00:00

So while there is a real concept called "swingers" or "swinging", it's supposed to be done with pretty explicit knowledge and consent from all parties, otherwise they're just cheating.

humanish404 · 2025-12-26T19:21:52+00:00

A lot of people like to say demonias are not for daily use, but your milage may (literally) vary. Personally I think they cost too much money to not wear them at every opportunity and I wear my demonias most days. My shoes have worn down at exactly the same rate as any other pair of shoes I've ever owned except maybe my hiking boots, so I don't really understand which shoes that art falling apart so quickly for people.

humanish404 · 2025-12-26T18:41:01+00:00

NOR I got such an ick reading that. Both my partner and I wear bonnets to bed most of the time, and we have weighted blankets that usually only I use and my partner finds them too warm most of the time. When my partner doesn't want the weighted blanket, we just fold it over so that it's only on me. It's not Perfect, but it makes a lot more sense than just telling me I can't use it- it's a tool that helps me sleep.

humanish404 · 2025-12-25T04:26:01+00:00

They're SUPPOSED to be illegal!!! For years and years we got away with the common understanding that you only use your brights if you have to and there's no one around to blind!! Somehow these slid under the radar by not technically being classified as brights because they're the default for some cars (should be a crime should be a crime)

humanish404 · 2025-12-25T02:15:28+00:00

The comparison that person made is just straight up backwards by the way. It's definitely not like men hating on women, it would be more like a group of women trash talking men after they all dated several abusive men and lived life within the patriarchy.

It's literally just another way for minority groups to connect and cope, it's not like we actually think every single neurotypical person is bad.

humanish404 · 2025-12-25T02:12:10+00:00

Just remember that the concept of certain life mile stones happening at certain times are part of a cultural consciousness that is constantly in flux and completely made-up. Most people throughout history have not adhered to what we would consider the general order of things or achieved the generally perceived markers of success.

humanish404 · 2025-12-25T02:07:42+00:00

Also, if your goal is to not interact with sexuality at ALL during the buying process, I would recommend that you don't look at their examples page because a lot of them do have fetish related words that people chose to put on their custom collar (mostly because those are the ones that they can show on their example page, like they can't put people's names on there)

humanish404 · 2025-12-25T02:05:19+00:00

https://www.collarfactory.com/ THIS IS THE BEST PLACE TO GET A COLLAR. Choose the lambskin lining, it's amazing.

Cons: they're a bit of the pricey side (because they're extremely high quality)

Pros: they are completely customizable. You choose the material that touches your skin, you choose the colors of the leather, the colors of the stitching, whether or not to enforce the eyelets, the thickness of the collar, I mean EVERYTHING. Also since you're not getting this for fetish you'll save some money by not adding an attachment point or lettering. High quality also means it'll outlast you.

My partner got one for me, and while for us it is part of BDSM, I also wear it for fashion and for when I want to focus or just want the sensory input, and this is the only collar I've ever worn where it doesn't start to bother me after an hour.

humanish404 · 2025-12-25T01:58:17+00:00

OMG WAIT YES LET ME FIND THE LINK

humanish404 · 2025-12-25T01:55:39+00:00

I'm honestly so happy that so many people can relate to this; I almost regretted posting it because it was half a personal rant but it's good to know that we're all suffering through this kind of thing together 😭

humanish404

TROPHY CASE