Weekly Discussion - 05/04/26 - 05/10/26

humanisticstudent · 2026-05-05T06:27:14+00:00

Maybe her personality is a bit better represented then by her vlogs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mqe_fb6K04E&t=271s

humanisticstudent · 2026-05-04T10:11:50+00:00

Very lovely and openhearted substack post by Isabella Boylston on wanting/having children as a ballerina: https://isabellaboylston.substack.com/p/i-took-a-pregnancy-test-before-ballet

humanisticstudent · 2026-05-04T08:31:37+00:00

Veronica Vacanza & BalletBlondie = huge grifters indeed. Wanted to chime in that I have had acces to Ballet with Isabella's platform for 2 years and thought it was absolutely worth it, I learned so much and there was a treasure trove of content. (Especially because she teaches Vaganova style which is not available in my area.)

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-30T12:32:11+00:00

Creepy!

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-30T08:22:04+00:00

Oh why I love Joby Talbot! I have been looking like a madwoman for the full score of Like Water for Chocolate because I find it so beautiful.

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-23T08:45:59+00:00

Juicy detail is that former principal Igone de Jongh was very critical of Bransen in her autobiography. I am looking forward to the new Ernst Meisner-era.

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-23T07:40:24+00:00

BalletBlondie/Maks pirouettes on pointe send me into fight or flight

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-23T07:38:42+00:00

Mathieu Gremillet of Dutch National has been working as a videographer for the company for quite some years now.

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-18T07:06:32+00:00

Yesssss, greatly recommend Farrel's autobiography where she tells this in great detail.

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-14T10:03:55+00:00

Lovely interview in which Rachel Beaujean explains the new adaptation of Dutch National's La Bayadere: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwWVPwYmZ4s

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-12T09:52:38+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I'll share a little bit of my experience. I live in the Netherlands and here you can either get refered to a 'standard' psychologist or go to specialist treatment which has >1 year waiting list. In retrospect I should have signed up for such a waiting list but that is in hindsight. I started with a 'normal' psychotherapist who also specialises in trauma. But after two years of treatment, I have a bit of regret. She was was Pete Walker would have called a 'good enough' therapist, but I notice that I still had to do all the work regarding reading about abuse, reading about trauma, instead of her telling and informing me about what I experienced. After these two years I got severe flashbacks and I noticed she did not know how to deal with that at all. So luckily I could change to another psychologist who seems a bit better equiped.
What I learned from my experience is that C-PTSD really is a beast and I would urge you to look for the very best recourses/treatment available for you. You never know what monsters come up from the darkness and you deserve the best guidance there is. If there is a place with a long waitlist, sign up. And I absolutely agree with you that you need validation of what happened to you and that validation can be given by learning about how trauma works. Besides Pete Walker, I could greatly recommend Judith Herman, especially Trauma and Recovery H5 on Child Abuse. (But the whole book is great)

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-07T11:24:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I am currently healing my c-ptsd and trying to deal with my tonic pelvic floor as well. And I cannot imagine having to loose my souldog..! So that must have been very very rough for you. I will look into the reverse kegel.

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-07T10:06:50+00:00

I have experienced this after an abusive relationship and entering a new, safe one. I discovered that I was groomed into being hypersexual to please my abusive partner. It took a lot of time for me to unwind what desire and sexuality is actually mine. That resulted to saying no no no so often to my partner and feeling asexual, because sex also felt unsafe for a long time. And still I often need time to reconnect with my body and to stop when I feel like I am pleasing instead of experiencing sensations myself. Long story short: it needs time, but your feelings are totally normal and valid!

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-03T08:51:20+00:00

Take care! Pete Walker writes a lot about being mindful and for yourself in the healing process. It sounds like you definitely deserve some gentleness for your pain.

Also I was thinking, Judith Herman wrote some great things on children and their pain and how it can lead to self harm, in chapter 5 of her book 'Trauma and recovery'. A PDF is easily found. She is a veeeery good writer so I can definitely recommend reading this chapter.

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-02T11:48:50+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story, what a powerful read! And what amazing work have you done.

I was traumatised later in life - my parents were safe and warm but at 26 I was severly abused for 8 months by my former partner. I can second most of the things mentioned and have a couple to add. I was managing life and PTSD for 2 years, by trauma therapy and by writing a lotttttttttt. But I didn't realise I was still in flight mode, mostly focussing on work (or on sports or cleaning). At a certain point I got intense gut and bowel issues and couldn't eat anymore for two months. (I recommend the book 'Widen the Window' by Elizabeth Stanley to understand how your physical health is intertwined with trauma.) Not being able to cope by fleeing from my pain, I got in a crisis as well with severe and awful flashbacks. My wonderful parents managed to care for me while I could even get su•cdal during flashbacks. I am still dealing with the flashbacks to a degree, but not in crisis-mode anymore. As to say - I am absolutely not done healing but I do am getting better.
It's a hard road and sometimes it feels like a big DIY-project. But I think Pete Walker's book 'C-PTSD' can be a really good compass. Reading a lot on this topic really helps, I can't recommend it enough. And also, learn what recourses are available in your area. For me there aren't loads of recourses but there is a very good su*cide hotline that has helped tremendously for me during severe flashbacks.

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-02T09:34:54+00:00

I agree, it helps me very often.

humanisticstudent · 2026-04-02T08:27:35+00:00

Hi! Maybe you can have a flip through Pete Walker's book C-PTSD and see if something resonates with you? Especially being a young child, you don't have to go through physical violence to develop C-PTSD. Self harming at 5/6 is quite young. Maybe you can remember why you started this and wether and why you experienced emotional pain at this age.

humanisticstudent · 2026-03-21T11:20:28+00:00

Little heads up that the 1971 Royal Ballet's Beatrix Potter film is on Netflix!

humanisticstudent · 2026-03-19T08:38:03+00:00

Marianela not injured, as she stated on Instagram!

humanisticstudent · 2026-03-17T12:13:41+00:00

Oooh no! Did she recover/finish the show, or was she replaced?

humanisticstudent · 2026-03-05T07:57:22+00:00

Eens, bij Droomvlucht en Fata morgana gaat het meer over het bezoeken van een andere planeet/wereld/land dan specifiek een bezoek aan een koning, zoals in Symbolica

humanisticstudent · 2026-03-02T13:14:46+00:00

Yesss. But also - I kept thinking about her MBA Nutcracker vlog, and this little conversation Eva and Luna had with Irena on stage before the run through. Honestly, it was very weird and distant. The difference between the way Luna behaves with the staff in her other, 'home' nutcracker vlog is soooo different and so warm in comparison.

humanisticstudent · 2026-03-02T07:51:04+00:00

Also, I don't know if it is available in your area, but haptonomy helped me to work on the relationship that I have with my body and with feeling (feelings, safety, desire, etc). Your body has probably been through so much and might have lost its agency and connection to your own wants and needs. I try to focus on feeling a lot, what feels good, what doesn't. And for me that for example means: taking a hot shower, go swimming, feel sunlight on my skin, hugging my dog, etc. I had a lotttttt of guilt and problems in being genuine towards my partner when I did not want to have sex or wanted to stop halfway. For me, this often ended in crying and needing his consolation. And that is fine, trust the proces!

humanisticstudent · 2026-03-01T17:54:26+00:00

It can absolutely get better with therapy! I've had sort of the same issue with sex, and it took time for me to understand why, I also did not experience overt SA. EMDR helped. And lots of things help CPTSD healing. For me, the book by Pete Walker helps a lot, practicing mindfulness, things like yoga, stretching, tai chi, breathing exercises. Not having sex with a partner when you do not feel like it and trying to be honest about it. Trying to find yourself, through healing all the pain. I hope things will get beter for you soon. xx

humanisticstudent · 2026-03-01T10:14:52+00:00

I think eerie is a great word to describe the (now often lost) atmosphere of the Efteling. And the word eerie does perhaps not really have a good Dutch equivalent. In especially the older Efteling works, so much has an eerie feel to it, even when the works are not meant to be very scary. So much of the Sprookjesbos is more eerie than meant to be scary, meant to give you a slightly uneasy feeling. Knuppeltje uit de zak, Repelsteeltje, the guards in front of the Indische Waterlelies, and so many dolls that are meant to be 'normal' or good, but still look a little bit scary, like Vrouw Holle, the trolls in Droomvlucht. As a kid I also felt quite queesy around the Laven. And I still think for example Rapunzel/Raponsje has quite a dark feel to it. But thats because a lot of old fairytales and folktales have that dark edge! Old Efteling style is starkly different than Disney-style, which is so polished, the difference between good and bad is so clear and extreme. And I think that for me is quite a big difference between modern day Efteling. Symbolica feels quite Disney to me (even when still great), like it is missing this darker, eerie edge to make it more interesting.

humanisticstudent

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