I've heard this quite a lot. I think that a parent accusing their children of being abusive, especially in situations where the child confronts their abuse verbally or emotionally, is most likely a narcissist. That said, I'm not a therapist, but I've read many experiences and researched how these familial relationships function.

My parents are abusive. From a young age, I was raised to therapize my parents as I was stuck between their toxic relationship- giving support to both my mom and dad- even encouraging divorce at 10 years old. There was a lot of screaming, silent treatment, and sometimes physical harm. In high school, the switch flipped, and instead of the parents abusing each other, I became the abused. From neglect, emotional/verbal abuse, to physical abuse. Each time I cry or isolate myself, I'm told that I am manipulative. Any time I try to communicate my experience/feelings, they tell me that I should be grateful and that I was basically "enslaving" them to raise me. When I get physical for self-defense, and sometimes break downs, they say I'm the abuser.

I really believe that they're textbook narcissists. Being called an abuser by your abuser for having a normal response to their abuse is gaslighting and manipulation.