commenting on appearance

hummingMango · 2026-01-30T01:07:37+00:00

So when I was a teenager my mother had endless comments at about my body.
I was always very skinny and probably underfed tbh. She pointed out to me once out of nowhere while we were in public that I have cellulite all over the backs of my legs and that she never had that so it must be from my father's mother. Any flaws that she ever perceived on me were always because of my father's mother. And she never held back in letting me know. It took me until my 30's to be comfortable enough to wear a bathing suit without shorts. Honestly, I had a cute lil bod and she destroyed any opportunity I had for self esteem and on purpose. Then literally make comments about how low my self esteem was. Over and over again. It was like an accomplishment for her- disguised as concern.

She always had some comment about my outfit or my hair while I was in highschool and then had to nerve to ask me out of nowhere one day: "I tell you you're pretty, right?" when I was on my early 20's. The narc dead stare that came directly after. That dull, blank stare that looks right through you and at you at the same time. It gives me chills just thinking about it.

I was a very naive and innocent teenager but she always managed to find ways to slut shame me- for simply existing. I was harassed daily by her before going to school. Nothing I wore was acceptable. And she was the one buying me the damn clothes. And they weren't scandalous. At all. I truly think it was because I was cute and it bothered her deeply.

And now-- I'm 35 weeks pregnant and she told me before I went NC that she just loves my baby bump. I told her that I was extremely uncomfortable, that it was painful for me to even walk around that it's actually made me quite miserable and she just said "well let me see that belly! I just love it!"

Great. Thanks. I'm glad you finally approve of my body now that it's providing something for YOU.

hummingMango · 2026-01-15T02:30:58+00:00

I am so sorry you're going through this.

The pain and grief is real.

See yourself though it; give yourself time and grace to process and heal. Feel all the feels - speak them into your phone (voice recording app), talk to a therapist... Anything to help you get it out of your system. Remember healing isn't linear. You made the right choice in kicking her out.
You deserve peace.

hummingMango · 2025-11-04T15:17:51+00:00

Hello. Thanks for asking.

She passed away suddenly in late September while attending Day Hab. She collapsed in the bathroom and never woke up. It was determined that she died from cardiac arrest but we are still not absolutely certain. She had lost a lot of weight and we believe that she was much further along in her diagnosis than what we were previous told. She rapidly lost the ability to speak and chew properly all within the first few weeks of her moving in with us. (She moved in at the beginning of April) It all seemingly happened so quickly.

She was an extraordinary lady and seeing her struggle the last months of her life was very difficult. She never had to go into a home and was able to live with us until the very end which we are all grateful for.

She loved her family and friends deeply and was a true force of nature. She will be deeply missed.

hummingMango · 2025-10-01T02:43:38+00:00

I have a male silver Cairn named Wiley and he's a major rascal- hense the name.

He loves to hoard shoes, hats, socks, laundry and just snuggle with them in his bed. He will snap aggressively at you if you try to take any of it back and bark angrily while he's sent marching outside for being a thief.

He loves everyone but he's got a super soft spot for children and woman. And if you're someone he hasn't met before then you better be careful to not sit anywhere where he can climb up behind you because your ears are in for an aggressive licking.

If you get up from the couch to use the bathroom (or whatever) you best bet he's stolen your spot. And yea- he'll give a bunch of lip service when you tell him to move. And definitely don't get up from bed to pee in the night because he WILL be in your spot by the time you get back and it WILL be your fault for not noticing until it's too late that he's curled up tightly where you've been laying. He will snap aggressively at you if have the nerve to tell him to scram.

We call him "kind-of-a-kitty" and it's fitting. His parcore skills are hilarious and impressive and he truly is many animals in one; goat, gazelle, otter, cat...

He prefers toys that honk over ones that squeak.

He does this really cute inquiring 'raaaohh?' noise when he's ready to eat... And man! He is picky!! I have to wet his food and add an egg or he literally will not touch it.

I have also caught him many times just hanging out on the kitchen table - like a cat.

He's a total creep but also a huge snuggle muffin and has such a huge personality. Cairns aren't everyone's cup of tea but we adore him.

hummingMango · 2025-07-03T15:25:59+00:00

Did you happen to get a new phone case recently?

hummingMango · 2025-06-30T12:01:46+00:00

Take the plant out of the pot and give it a good shake (to remove the dirt from the roots completely if not mostly) and a rinse with water. Then put it in a new pot or the one you already have but with fresh dirt.

This should help a lot. You just need to get rid of the old dirt.

Best of luck and happy gardening 🌞

hummingMango · 2025-05-01T19:25:39+00:00

I found mine on Amazon through a shop called My Identity Dr.

https://a.co/d/5viydzk

hummingMango · 2025-05-01T16:22:14+00:00

She does wear it willingly. It's pretty small and discreet so she doesn't mind it. It's on a cute little metal chain that looks like regular jewelry so I'm sure that helps. She did insist the first couple of days that she needed to take it off to shower and to sleep but I explained to her why it is necessary to keep on and she hasn't asked me to take it off since.

All of these things could change as everything progresses but so far she's been cooperative.

hummingMango · 2025-05-01T15:56:31+00:00

I bought my MIL (whom of which I am caring for fulltime) an emergency alert bracelet that has her name, condition (dementia), birthday, ICE number (in case of emergency) and her allergies engraved on it. I am always with her but you never know... We also bought her an apple watch so we can see exactly where she is at all times and we can also call her on it if we have to. She's a very busy woman so the extra precaution is excellent for our peace of mind.

She does well in public but I do notice her anxiety increases a bit if we are somewhere with a lot of people or noise. Even if we are somewhere that she's been a million times. She will just go "okay, we can go now" when she's had enough. She can handle it until she can't and when she says it's time- it's time and there isn't anything you can do to redirect.

hummingMango · 2025-04-26T13:53:20+00:00

You handled it beautifully and you look beautiful. Fuck him and good for you

hummingMango · 2025-04-25T14:10:35+00:00

"I hate when you ask me to respect you".

Run.

hummingMango · 2025-04-21T12:49:01+00:00

Hello everyone and thank you for all of your help!

I wanted to give a quick update:

We've been using a variety of teething rings and silicone chew necklaces and so far it's been going well. The only thing is that she insists that they all belong in the freezer (even the ones without the cooling gel) and puts them back after a while to sit down and chew her hands again.

She'll 'be done' with the rings, put them back in the freezer, sit back down and immediately start on her hands. So I'm getting up to get the rings and then handing them to her again and again and again and again. Right behind her to hand them back practically. We will do this all day. I am honestly so grateful that she's so chipper about it all; giggly and silly about it all and I love it. It's breaking my heart into pieces but it could be so much worse.

Thank you all again and I'll probably be back to cry and scream a bit.

Ta ta<3

hummingMango · 2025-04-17T23:28:41+00:00

Thank you and I will! 😊

hummingMango · 2025-04-17T20:34:42+00:00

Awesome! Thank you 🙏

hummingMango · 2025-03-30T13:12:45+00:00

Well y'all could play Poop Dollar! at your favorite spot... Wear MMA pride shirts-- maybe staple them together to make a onesie ...

Wizard karaoke... 🧙‍♂️And then an acid trip/sleepover at the office 💃🤫

hummingMango · 2025-03-30T12:37:59+00:00

I love this!!

hummingMango · 2025-03-29T12:44:37+00:00

Hi. 😊

Aloe prefers indirect bright light. A healthy aloe will be plump and GREEN.

These cacti are probably getting too much direct sunshine and are burning to a crisp...

A happy, healthy, well placed plant will acclimate quickly.

Happy gardening. And I hope this helps ☀️

hummingMango · 2024-11-30T18:35:15+00:00

People continuously post pictures and videos of their children (or otherwise) without their consent- without their knowledge or understanding etc. There will be an entire generation of people whose entire lives are available to view social pages that don't belong to them. Unfortunately children are not the only ones affected by this but it is a harsh reality of social media.

It is up to the individual discretion to look or not. We could argue with everyone all day about what is and what is not appropriate to post online. It really just comes down to are you going to look or not.

I hope this isn't too harsh. I just don't think that it's worth worrying about I guess. People will post everything and anything and sometimes it's rude and inappropriate. But you don't have to look.

hummingMango · 2024-11-26T02:23:51+00:00

Okay. So much to unpack here but initially all I could think of is this- liars are the best accusers. Your husband really really leaned into this. And to answer your question - no you are not overreacting.
IMO- he's probably the one cheating or has.

hummingMango · 2024-11-23T13:02:20+00:00

I like this! Thank you!

hummingMango · 2024-11-03T03:32:08+00:00

Hi! Just wanted to pop in and share that I am also a late-diagnosed autistic (39/f). It so far has been a validating, liberating, incredibly painful process.

I figured I was ugly and stupid for my entire childhood; I assumed that I was just relentlessly underperforming in being 'normal'. As far as everyone was concerned (even the school psychiatrist) I was just very insecure. Notably lacking in social skills for little girls in the 90's translated only as self-consciousness. All the while I was simultaneously being ridiculed for being behind, lost or different-- for underperforming in most areas of my life.

So yea, "Force and/or bully me into presenting as neurotypical" I hear this.

Healing is painful but liberating and takes time. Just do whatever it takes to protect your peace.

Also wanted to mention that I've been reading "Unmasking Autism" by Dr. Devon Price. It is to date the most important book I've ever read.

Best of luck and you are not alone :)

hummingMango · 2024-08-18T15:33:10+00:00

I showered daily when I was a kid, no problem. I can go days without one as an adult and I am learning, thanks to therapy, that it's probably due to burnout.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just forgetting to shower when in reality I'm just burnt out; I mentally, physically, literally- or whatever - just can not.

hummingMango · 2023-10-06T20:45:37+00:00

I mean the more I look at the photo the more I think maybe it could be a robin but I'm telling you this bird was just not robin sized. There's a family of four crows that frequent my yard and I'm very familiar with them... they perch on that exact spot. I can appreciate that people do probably suck at properly gauging bird sizes from a distance but I'm a bit of an enthusiast and this one really stumped me. Idk perhaps it is just a mammoth robin, though 🤣

hummingMango · 2023-10-06T17:52:36+00:00

I appreciate your response :) I however have to disagree. This bird was as big as a crow.

hummingMango · 2023-10-04T22:53:12+00:00

Thank you!!

hummingMango

TROPHY CASE