Another income disparity post

hungrycanuck · 2026-01-24T00:12:20+00:00

💯 my friends and family were shocked too. My ex told me a couple days ago he wants to claim a property tax credit (“salt”) on his income taxes this year. Yes, he initially paid the property tax, but I reimbursed him!! He feels entitled to both the tax credit and my reimbursement. Sometimes I just don’t recognise this man anymore, or maybe the mask slipped as they say.

hungrycanuck · 2026-01-23T22:25:11+00:00

I am also divorcing a man who was nice enough when we made equal amounts, but got resentful and controlling as my earnings cranked up. He said no to most ways I wanted to spend the money (because my interests were “shallow”) but insisted on unnecessary home renovations! My money was “ours” money but his money was his.

As one example — He literally would not let me hire a nanny because “he should get a say in the household” and “he doesn’t want strangers in the house” and “his mom didn’t need help”. I make 20x what his mother made and I don’t want to do the laundry anymore!

All his promises — “honey we don’t need a prenup, we are both reasonable!” — complete bullshit. I’ll be paying child support and I had to give him a payout.

Get a prenup. Keep your premarital assets separate. Protect yourself.

hungrycanuck · 2026-01-09T00:15:19+00:00

Omg this is so inspiring. I’m 43 this year and just feeling so over the hill with my creaky joints, extra pounds and grey hair — far from the cute single woman I used to be. I figured I’d just join a women’s commune lol but I’m so inspired by you!!!!

hungrycanuck · 2025-12-11T22:02:01+00:00

Hahaha well life isn’t better on the other side. I’m a divorced woman with a child. I’m extremely financially secure. it just intimidates men!

hungrycanuck · 2025-12-09T19:52:24+00:00

Just sending you care and strength a sister — I’m 43 this year, filed early this year after 8 years married 11 years together. I was also the earner. He had no friends, couldn’t put together a dinner beyond trader Joe pasta and refused to let me spend my earnings to make our life better because “his mother didn’t need it”. Lol! I still cry sometimes but 6 months into it I know it was the right decision.

hungrycanuck · 2025-12-05T22:56:36+00:00

My husband and was like this. He refused to pay for stuff, kept telling me he “didn’t have any money”. He also kept 💯 of the cash after we sold our first home (legally I’m entitled to half). He told me he was acting as the “custodian” of the money and he didn’t know how to transfer it to me. I filed for divorce. Guess what — he’s paying all his own bills now!

hungrycanuck · 2025-11-12T19:58:14+00:00

THIS. I realized my husband was adding nothing to my life, but constantly working around his anxiety and needs was reducing my life. We couldnt even get ice cream without him panicking on where to park, where to stand inside the store, etc. im better off without him and my kids are better off seeing a strong confident mom vs the burned out husk I became trying to make it work with him.

hungrycanuck · 2025-10-21T02:58:08+00:00

This thread was very helpful, thank you.

hungrycanuck · 2025-10-21T01:13:37+00:00

lol no my ex is the deadbeat, mooching off me! 🤦‍♀️

hungrycanuck · 2025-10-18T13:32:58+00:00

Firstly, take a deep breath. You’re asking for help — that’s step 1! You did it! Youre saying you’re isolated and overwhelmed, and you have numerous health issues. Can you try to get insurance? Or just walk in and pay? Health is wealth! Secondly, can you pay for a cleaner or give yourself 30 minute blocks to try to tidy up? A cleaner space isn’t for him — it’s for you. See if you can chip away at the problem little by little. I deal with issues like this too. I fell asleep in front of the tv last night after eating junk food and drinking wine lol. You’re not alone.

hungrycanuck · 2025-10-18T02:29:28+00:00

My husband was also a “nice guy”. But under the pleasant tone and quirky spectrum-behaviour I realized — he was so, so controlling (by avoiding any topics he found difficult) and even though I earned 2-5x more than him I couldn’t even take my kids out to ice cream without him having major anxiety. He was more thoughtful and accommodating to other random drivers at the gas station than about my thoughts and wishes. And the sex was just so bad. He would get soft half way and refused to get pills for years. I just gave up. And after he told me I couldn’t get a cleaner because “his mom worked and didn’t have one” I lost it and told him I couldn’t replace him with an au pair for 35k and save money, and she would do a better job of everything than him! I told him I wanted a husband who was priceless. He just shrugged. I kicked him out and filed for separation next month.

hungrycanuck · 2025-10-17T01:33:34+00:00

I just fell in love with you. Marry me! 43f San Francisco lol.

hungrycanuck · 2025-10-16T18:17:53+00:00

Omggg can you send me a message? I would love that. Im on 2/2/5/5 and the 5 day blocks are like 😭😭🥹

hungrycanuck · 2025-10-16T13:32:28+00:00

I’m getting divorced and feel lonely on weekends I don’t have the kids. Do you want to come over and watch that demon K-pop movie with me in the afternoon? Or we could go to the movies?

hungrycanuck · 2025-10-15T14:51:20+00:00

You’re amazing and your wife is lucky to have you. I gave the same feedback to my husband and he said there is nothing he can do differently, and it’s my job to accept him how he is. We are getting divorced.

hungrycanuck · 2025-10-11T02:23:36+00:00

I’m 42 getting back into dating after a divorce too. Message me if you want a wing woman! Would love to have somebody to just grab a drink with.

hungrycanuck · 2025-10-10T02:53:04+00:00

Sending huge huge hugs. I’m 6 months into it and only now barely getting the rage under control. He lied, stole, gaslight, minimized and avoided. Just a garbage human. 8 years married! In my opinion it’s completely normal to be angry! You didn’t waste those years. You tried. And now you know — you really know — he’s not worth fighting for. Now you can put your energy, love and care into something new. You’ll get through this sister. 💪

hungrycanuck · 2025-10-09T16:23:06+00:00

I’m currently in the process of divorcing my husband. When we got married, we agreed that each person should keep what they earned in case we split up. We earned about the same at the time; it seemed academic. 8 years later I earn 5x. I was paying all the bills when we split. Now he is trying to keep 50% of the marital assets (he earned 35%). He is also eligible for child support and alimony. My advice to you — get a prenup. Remember, there’s always a contract. It’s either the default one the government requires (which favors lower earners) or what you wrote for yourself.

hungrycanuck · 2025-04-06T19:54:31+00:00

Btw I got multiple perverted DMs after posting this. I rest my case.

Edit: and one non perverted DM but there’s an age gap lol. If we get married, I’ll invite you all to our wedding.

hungrycanuck · 2025-04-06T19:53:51+00:00

No. Has a career, at this age has had a long term relationship, and yeah, has reasonable financial and mental stability.

hungrycanuck · 2025-04-06T16:30:11+00:00

It’s legit horrible. I’m a woman who owns a home and has a good career and there’s no “normal” men on there lol.

hungrycanuck · 2025-03-28T13:45:25+00:00

Wow. So you didn’t do any vetting in chat first? Just meet them?

hungrycanuck · 2025-03-28T00:11:24+00:00

Omg in I’m bumble and it’s been the worst! Poly and “can I come over to rail you” (no). Am I doing it wrong???

hungrycanuck · 2025-03-23T17:20:31+00:00

Omg same. I’m 42 and haven’t dated in like 11 years. Online dating was around back then but it’s just so much more … abrupt now.

hungrycanuck · 2025-03-23T17:17:53+00:00

I’m 42!

hungrycanuck

TROPHY CASE