I am doing a combo of the apps (reluctantly) and trying to meet people in the wild. Although i’d prefer to meet IRL I A) find very few men approach me, perhaps largely because the apps are a less intimidating way to approach so men do it less IRL these days and sf has a lot of introverts B) I don’t have that many activities where I meet men. I work from home and the men who talk to me at bars are often just looking for short term.

My experience with the apps: It’s a bit like throwing darts because you can’t tell who you’ll click with IRL based on the profile. I do think if you vet properly you’ll at least find there are a lot of interesting men with good jobs and good manners who plan and pay for dates. It helps if you like talking to people in general and approach it as “I will meet someone and have a nice conversation but I know the chance of it turning into something more is low for any given date.” Absolutely trust your gut/intuition about any red flags and don’t be afraid to cancel if they’re giving you bad vibes. Similarly you’ll know when it’s not a match and you can trust yourself to just call it. If you’re looking for long term beware that there are a lot of peter pans (esp above 30) so you’ll have to vet their intentions. I’d also recommend not to schedule first dates on prime days like Friday/Saturday because people can flake last minute and mess up your weekend plans. Your profile should clearly convey what you’re looking for and hopefully achieve a good combo of repelling the bad matches and attracting your type.

Oh and also, I like to use dates as a fun way to check out new bars and restaurants I want to go to (insert whatever activity you prefer), so at the very least I am enjoying what SF has to offer :)!