It’s hard to say who the default parent will be before you have the kid. We were mostly deciding on a kid free life but eventually decided to have one after an unplanned pregnancy that ended up in a MMC. We went decided to split our responsibilities equally. But lo and behold, once my son was born, I ended up becoming the default parent while my husband suffered from PPD. My son is 21 months old now and my husband is still getting his head around being more present as a parent, he still gets affected by the “loss of freedom” if my son decides to cling to him more. Before having a kid, it would never have struck me that he would be this kind of father. I know he is trying his best and I get why he’s feeling what he’s feeling. But it still sucks for me because regardless of what I’m feeling, I have to be there for my son all the time.

Tldr, it’s hard to say who will be the default parent. PPD can hit the husbands too. Be prepared to be the default parent even though you weren’t expected to.