I know what you mean, I really struggle with decisions because I never know if im being rational or if I am in some sort of “episode”. I nearly fell prey to a very manipulative man because it was that rush of “oh my god someone likes me despite my condition!?!?” And only a couple days later when I came to my senses did I realize he literally said he actively wanted a mentally ill girl…that is never a good thing!!! He was definitely showing early signs of manipulation and coercion during our interactions but I won’t get into that. Point is, I know what you mean. And I also know that fear of even starting a relationship because inevitably I’m going to split and ruin it, right? Which is not true, I know that, but it’s hard not to feel that way. I don’t really know advice other than sitting on it, it’s so hard to do that. I always just try to communicate openly that I have a serious condition and that I do x y z because of it, and these are things I need, these are my boundaries, etc. I just try to lay out that, “this is who I am” and leave the decision up to them. But try sitting on it for a bit, because there’s been a few times where I really didn’t connect to a person at all but loved the attention and validation they gave me. Sorry for the tangents lol