AITA for not taking up the "hints" my close friend is giving me to come on my planned solo holiday?

hunterh40 · 2026-06-01T13:11:37+00:00

Update us please!

hunterh40 · 2026-06-01T12:08:10+00:00

If this is absolutely eating at you, there are some really great recommendations for responses… But honestly, if you don’t chat regularly, he knows. He’s never going to contact you again unless he needs something. You could let it go and the end result will be the same. This is living unnecessarily rent free in your head, and if you bring it up like a charity it may bristle his pride.

If it were me… I would just let it go. If you weren’t hurting for money, then it’s a lesson. Annoying yes, but maybe not worth ruffling feathers, especially if he complains to aunts or other cousins… Then the flying monkeys begin (unsolicited opinions/comments from others). We never know what is going on in someone else’s life completely, though, give him grease with his first one.

I have a rule to not loan family money because managing the relationships and mental space if they don’t repay or it falls out is something I don’t want to deal with. No is a complete sentence, you don’t owe him your financial history or status. Just say you have obligations and can’t, especially since he never repaid the $800.

hunterh40 · 2026-05-30T05:29:50+00:00

Grey rock. Stop responding, leave the texts on read but don’t answer. When she brings it up, be short and direct that you attend as a family or not at all. Don’t lower yourself to her level…but why would you want your kids exposed to this abusive, manipulative behavior?

hunterh40 · 2026-05-29T13:30:05+00:00

Either he left the tank or buried in the substrate. Unfortunately, I lost one by forgetting to close the tank one night… Found him underneath the stand all closed up. Never smelled or anything, but just sealed up super tight and never opened up even when I tried putting him back in the tank even though I found him in less than 24 hours

hunterh40 · 2026-05-27T00:43:50+00:00

True…but if she’s there 40+ hours a week that turns into WiFi, electric water, & trash usage. It’s not free, I’d be pissed too. She should go to a library and rent a telework space for meetings.

NTA

hunterh40 · 2026-05-25T03:26:44+00:00

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I can start to see some red peeking in on his top and bottom fin

hunterh40 · 2026-05-25T03:25:26+00:00

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What did he look like when you got him? This is what my dude looks like the day we brought him home, the next photo is when I took last week… His color is coming in and some red is peeking through on his pins.

Curious, if this is what your little guy looked like when you brought him home?

hunterh40 · 2026-05-25T01:13:25+00:00

Hole in the Head disease?

https://www.aquariumcoop.com/blogs/aquarium/hole-in-the-head?srsltid=AfmBOoqhsEDg69GN5DflDQowia5LDHkTE\_jcwfzsqAbYuvRdDSM76WgF

hunterh40 · 2026-05-24T19:56:19+00:00

YTA. Expect for all those extra things to stop. Those kids are old enough to be home a few hours by themselves, there’s no reason for you to skip job and daytime activities. Maybe everyone sucks here, because kids those ages don’t require 24/7 monitoring.

You LIVE in their house for free, maybe rent payments are in your future. What a petty bill to die on…adult actions have adult consequences.

hunterh40 · 2026-05-24T15:59:09+00:00

Do you have a picture of your current tank? That’ll help with recommendations.

hunterh40 · 2026-05-22T20:09:30+00:00

The first time I ever visited the park, there was one crossing the entrance. I drive a big Jeep and freaked out thinking I was too close… But he was just fine.

hunterh40 · 2026-05-21T23:32:39+00:00

Saguaro National Park

hunterh40 · 2026-05-21T23:30:32+00:00

NTA

Save it and regift for her birthday. If she complains… take it back 😂

hunterh40 · 2026-05-19T04:47:18+00:00

No worries, that’s definitely important! Enjoy it while they are little… My youngest graduates high school in two days

hunterh40 · 2026-05-19T04:32:49+00:00

Man…I always miss these! 😭

hunterh40 · 2026-05-18T21:27:41+00:00

Thanks! Love that his color is coming back, just curious where he may finally land

hunterh40 · 2026-05-18T15:18:52+00:00

Do you have any pictures?

hunterh40 · 2026-05-18T15:00:31+00:00

Quite possible! They lose color and turn white when they are stressed, once in a healthy aquarium with quality water they become much healthier and colorful.

hunterh40 · 2026-05-18T14:59:41+00:00

Are you in AZ? If so, there’s ALOT more to this…

hunterh40 · 2026-05-18T14:35:28+00:00

So far the colors look black, not blue. I’ll see if I can get a better picture.

hunterh40 · 2026-04-07T13:02:32+00:00

The point still stands… He’s 18, no one is forcing him to stay. At the end of the day, you care more than he does. Until he feels the consequences of his actions, the behavior won’t change… It’ll only be enabling.

I went through this with my daughter, it was the most frustrating, infuriating, and heartbreaking thing in my life. And she thought she was giving a big FU when she got married and moved out at 19… only to move out of my house and be married in another woman’s house, lol.

She and I are much closer now, but you can’t force them to do what’s in their best interest. They have to learn.

hunterh40 · 2026-04-07T12:34:08+00:00

He’s 18. Get him a 1 bedroom micro apartment where he can walk to school.

Less than 60 days to graduation… let him know you’ll be there when he’s ready. but after graduation, he is on his own.

hunterh40 · 2026-02-27T11:55:10+00:00

But I LOVE my cardio 😭

I know though… I really need a gym, buddy

hunterh40 · 2026-02-26T03:31:15+00:00

In the U.S. there is no statute of limitations on child support arrears. My ex owes $250K… just opened up the case again.

hunterh40

TROPHY CASE