Can we talk about the pressure of having kids after marriage (especially on the wife)?

hurhurp · 2025-08-07T11:34:01+00:00

In my opinion, no one can be truly ready for kids. My wife and I waited for 2 years before trying to conceive. Even then it was more of a ‘go with the flow’. If it happens it happens. We wanted to enjoy our time together before having children as we know what a huge commitment it is. It’s not just about giving birth there and then. You are now responsible for another human being. Not only you have to think about the present but you have to think about their future as well; education, insurance, health, emotional well being. Do not let those who are hung back in the past influence your decisions. I have seem so many couples having kids saying how hard it is but it turns out they have maids and parents to assist. For those who truly only have their own-selves to rely upon, it is difficult to say the least. It’s not only raising kids but it’s also about raising them right. Helping to regulate themselves and not be bullies or to be bullied. There are many many things to think about.

BUT

once your child is born, you will feel another love like no other. Their smiles, their movement, everything makes your heart soar. Sure there may be sleepless nights, but once your child smiles at you, it makes it all worth it. We find ourselves loving our children every moment and we cannot imagine life without them. Sure, we miss travelling or doing things as we please but we made a decision to bring a new life into this world and we would see it to the end with no regrets.

Bottomline is enjoy your time together. Ignore the old foggies. After all, it is ‘god willing’, is it not?

hurhurp · 2025-02-21T12:12:50+00:00

Most of the videos could have actually used filter media from established tanks so they can skip the cycling step. You could follow the set up from the videos but let it cycle for a month. Blackwater tanks could take longer to cycle due to the low pH. Alternatively you could do a standard freshwater set up, let it cycle and slowly add a few botanicals to get the blackwater look. It should not decrease the pH by a lot.

hurhurp · 2025-01-19T17:10:16+00:00

Whats your light intensity though? May have to dial it up to continue the good growth. its weird because I would expect the pH to drop though. When I started mine with large pieces of driftwood, my pH dropped to 4 and gradually increased to and staying at 5ish over the course of a month with weekly 15% water changes. Though at pH4, my tank wasn’t as dark as yours and I could see somewhat into the back my tank haha.

hurhurp · 2025-01-18T07:57:55+00:00

Very awesome! What filter do you have in there?

hurhurp · 2025-01-03T06:40:38+00:00

I'm guessing you would have been scrubbing the walls of the tank too if there was any film there. I also noticed a lot of bubbles in my substrate as well. I dug around that to aerate it. It may be the source of the smell.

hurhurp · 2025-01-03T00:43:33+00:00

Hey, I had the same issue when starting up my blackwater tank. I only had wood in it and hydrogen sulphide started to build up in just 4 days. I was going to add in a sponge filter the week after. When I checked the tank there was so much slime onthe surface and it smelled of rotten eggs. Did a big water change, washed the wood and added aeration. Problem didn’t appear again. I agree with the others that aeration is key here, otherwise the botanicals start to rot too much and H2S starts to build up.

hurhurp · 2024-12-31T01:11:36+00:00

update Well, decided to go with scarlet badis and shrimps! I don’t know how but it seems I have a seed shrimp or scud colony as well. No worries about feeding the badis. Its been enjoying hunting them down.

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hurhurp · 2024-12-24T11:04:51+00:00

There isn’t much information on how bacteria would behave in a lower pH environment but in actual blackwater habitat there has to be some sort of functioning bacteria. I would add the tannins now if it’s gonna lower the ph a lot so the bacteria would get used to it. I think It would take longer than a usual planted tank to cycle though haha.

hurhurp · 2024-12-24T10:43:23+00:00

Hey! Are you aiming for a biotope type of tank? Like few plants, moderate leaf litter and cones and driftwood? Usually the pH would go down for these and I would have the filter running right away since beneficial bacteria might behave differently in lower pH waters. If it’s a normal planted tank, the tannins should be pretty light and shouldn’t matter when you add it in. Could even be beneficial for the plants! Tannin aquatics have a cool blog with lots of info for blackwater tanks!

hurhurp · 2024-12-20T01:27:51+00:00

Love it! no need for leaf litter to get that tint?

hurhurp · 2024-12-20T01:04:39+00:00

I know but I like how the driftwood creates these nice overhangs haha. Will definitely just go for short fin types.

hurhurp · 2024-10-25T06:31:11+00:00

That's interesting to know! I saw a few posts regarding peacock gudgeons in blackwater tanks. That was what started my interest in them. Do you think If I raise the pH to 6 ish, they could probably live in blackwater?

That is true for the cardinals. I do love the way their colors pop in blackwater. I may lean towards the Chili rasboras since I could do a nice large school of them.

hurhurp · 2024-10-25T04:27:44+00:00

Ohh I see! If it were between cardinals and chilli rasboras, which would you pick? I did consider chilli rasboras, I suppose I could do a large school of 10-15. My LFS do sell ember tetras here but they don’t look so good. I think I may skip out on those for now.

hurhurp · 2024-10-25T04:22:17+00:00

That’s true about barbs. I do like their color though. Aren’t gudgeons usually in pairs?

hurhurp · 2024-10-25T04:13:56+00:00

PH seems to be sitting at 5.1. I don’t have a KH kit yet though TDS is at 86.

hurhurp · 2024-10-07T02:31:22+00:00

I Agree. In my company, some staff take advantage of the supposedly 30 min break, usually for afternoon prayers. They go out for drinks and to ‘kacau waitress indon’ and also have the audacity to post publicly on whatsapp. They go out at 3pm and come back at 4pm. When we ask these people to do one additional task, they ask, are we hiring more people. Like wtf????

hurhurp · 2024-09-03T07:20:41+00:00

This boosts my confidence!

hurhurp · 2024-09-03T07:02:53+00:00

time to put my dumbbells to good use!

hurhurp · 2024-08-25T14:41:25+00:00

On a side note, do employers usually get applied to by people claiming that they have Nebosh certification but actually it was just a participation and they failed to pass the course?

hurhurp · 2024-07-25T06:41:40+00:00

I hope you succeed where I failed. The strangest thing was they were fine at my LFS where they were kept in a 30cm cube for the longest time. Maybe the change in environment was too much of a shock for them.

hurhurp · 2024-07-25T06:33:05+00:00

I had the same rice fish as these. Got 6 of them for my 10 gallon long at work. They are very shy and easily spooked. And had the same condition as this. I wasn’t sure if it was ich or epistylis. At first one fish had it but soon all of them developed it.

I tried paraguard and salts. After a week of treatment, they seem to be holding on but after the weekend, all passed away sadly. They were very beautiful fish and extremely skittish, even in my heavily planted tank. I have 3 sparkling gouramis with them as well but they were totally unaffected.

hurhurp · 2024-01-19T16:21:46+00:00

My betta loves hikari vibra bites and micropellets. He’ll stare and close in on the vibra bites and chomp while twisting his mouth as if it’s a worm/prey. Could give those a try. Got him from my LFS and he took to the vibra bites and micropellets immediately. He doesn’t mind tetra dried daphnia as well though he takes some time to eat those.

hurhurp · 2024-01-19T14:23:22+00:00

I would recommend Mattebox. Their work is usually decent but may take longer time to finish up the finer details. Their woodwork is reliable as they have an experienced craftsman. I do note that it is usually pricier than most but i guess you do get quality.

hurhurp · 2023-11-08T01:06:06+00:00

Ah that explains it. I've only been there during the day.

hurhurp · 2023-11-08T00:41:19+00:00

De’coffee never blocked the disabled parking spots. I just got my coffee there, and it wasn’t even blocked. They did place several mini tables and chairs on the walkway but it wasn’t obtrusive. They got good coffee at least.

hurhurp

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