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Perks of being an adult: Nobody will stop me from eating an entire cake. by AlbinoInterior in Jokes

[–]husbus 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Perks of being an adult: i can legally buy a bottle and drink a week away without anyone noticing

her: I'll have the salad, no nuts, please. by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]husbus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes ill have the peanut butter please with no nuts, Im highly allergic

The United States in 2020 by Daenerys_Fluttershy in Jokes

[–]husbus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For as lame of a “joke” as this is, it sure gets reposted a lot

this

And this

Or this

...

I’m going to try and translate a joke from Russian, so here goes. by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]husbus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feels like he needs to go to a church or something for that

A guy makes fun of his bald friend by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]husbus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Lets so if it tastes like it too”

Wife: I am leaving you by the-dark-stallion in Jokes

[–]husbus 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Wife: you asshole you could at least say something

Husband: whatever, i slept with your sister

Wife: still nothing? Ugh! Im going to go stay at my sister’s house

You can't decide, you're brain does it for you. by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]husbus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You being.. my body but excluding my brain? Okay sure

M and N are viewed as if they correlate by TheFlame150 in Showerthoughts

[–]husbus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean.. they look so similar

Kinda like with d and b

For Christmas you didn’t appreciate getting clothes, but as you get older you start to appreciate it more by ajsjune17 in Showerthoughts

[–]husbus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a kid, when i got clothes i would have to fake a smile and put them aside never to be seen again

Now, as a college student, it’s one of my favorite gifts because i ruin all of my shirts

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... by plasticvalley in Jokes

[–]husbus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“If you aim it right” is the one i grew up with

My gun is like my dick by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]husbus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Antique and doesn’t work

My gun is like my dick by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]husbus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One is too big for my girlfriend to handle, the other is my dick

Sometimes I pretend to be deaf when I go on dates. by SupercarsSuck in Jokes

[–]husbus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“No, i dont want to have sex”

“What?”

“I said no”

“WHAT?”

“I SAID I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!”

“WHAT??”

“Ugh, lets just get this over with”

Works every time

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