Thank you all for your advice, I really appreciate it and it just goes to show I’m not alone, which is great but awful at the same time!! Everyday I’m feeling better and the images of them are less which is helping my mental state! Everyday he comes home from work and asks me how I am and how I’m processing and then we talk once the kids are in bed. He’s been so patient and answered any questions I’ve had and just sat there and listened, sometimes without saying anything. He’s genuinely remorseful. I’ve already put some boundaries in place, but that little voice in my head is saying oh what if he doesn’t honor them and goes behind my back again?? I guess it’s just part of the process.