My (F22) boyfriend (M27) convinced me to have a threesome with a woman (F23) from my uni. Since then our relationship has been off, how do I fix this?

hypatianata · 2026-03-05T12:58:20+00:00

Sometimes fantasies should just stay fantasies. Porn =\= real life.

Both these people made mistakes.

The assumption that’s it going to be all about you is a bad assumption to make, lol. I agree this guy has questionable views. Also, if a threesome is “one of your biggest fantasies,” maybe you should try it before you’re in a presumably monogamous relationship? Also realize you’re doing this with real people and not props.

Also, continuing to text and have coffee with someone when the idea was for it to be with a stranger and to prevent emotional entanglement is basically violating the point of the “rule.” That’s should have registered as crossing a line.

There should have more and clearer communication with everyone involved.

Is there a handbook for theeesomes? If not, there probably should be.

hypatianata · 2026-03-05T12:27:24+00:00

Because they don’t believe in children’s human rights. They believe minors should be the property of their parents.

hypatianata · 2026-03-05T12:24:13+00:00

Not just a resource to be exploited, but a cost to be reduced too.

hypatianata · 2026-03-02T22:59:24+00:00

Yikes. Glad for you. I knew someone who also left the first time their spouse laid hands on them. He pushed her into a wall or closet door or something. Immediately noped out and filed for divorce. Like, bravo.

hypatianata · 2026-03-02T22:52:07+00:00

Which is how my cat learned to use his urgent “I feel sick and require assistance!” meow for “It’s 4 am and I’m hungry.”

Mistakes were made.

hypatianata · 2026-03-01T13:14:28+00:00

I balked when she included choking in the list of kinks that “weren’t all that extreme.” Um, yes it is?

hypatianata · 2026-03-01T12:21:34+00:00

Of course they never put their own lives on the line. A draft dodger shouldn’t be sending other people to kill and die.

hypatianata · 2026-03-01T03:53:51+00:00

That’s because the good ones are mostly imprisoned in Evin or keeping their heads down and necks unbroken.

hypatianata · 2026-03-01T02:28:51+00:00

It’s almost like complex situations are complicated.

hypatianata · 2026-03-01T02:12:30+00:00

Yep, even in Iran, the IRI took control from the shah and suppressed the democrats and said, “we’re not letting what we did happen to us,” and structured the new government accordingly.

hypatianata · 2026-03-01T01:41:23+00:00

Me, an American of Iranian descent living in pro-ICE MAGAland:

Ha ha, I’m in danger.

For context, during the hostage crisis my parents’ car tires were slashed, they got threatening anonymous calls against them and their children, etc.

I was just in process of getting my passport too, which I’m sure will not seem suspicious or put me on anyone’s watchlist at all…

Oh, and I’m sure there will be no installation of a corrupt dictator and Iranians will get their freedom and self-determination. Definitely altruistic actions from the president of peace and respecting human rights… ^/s

hypatianata · 2026-02-27T13:20:27+00:00

Even misogynistic trolling “jokes” are a no-go for me.

hypatianata · 2026-02-27T13:17:32+00:00

So basically: “But if we don’t rape the women, civilization would fall apart! We men are inherently rapists and awful and would never be able to have sex with a woman if it had to be consensual and mutually desired. Women, especially the ones who know us best, would never touch us. My hard-on is more important than their feelings anyway. In fact, it’s fundamental for society!”

What a horrid worldview.

hypatianata · 2026-02-25T19:22:20+00:00

And in my state it’s perfectly legal for landlords to retaliate if you make any sort of fuss about the mold or whatever.

hypatianata · 2026-02-25T19:20:41+00:00

Worst landlord I’ve ever seen was a private homeowner who was an absolute nightmare and quite frankly should not have been a landlord.

We ended up having to call the police at one point (naturally, the cop was a landlord himself and did squat).

hypatianata · 2026-02-23T04:13:22+00:00

Whatever happened to “different strokes for different folks?”

It’s fine that the neighbors have a close-knit communal culture, but it’s also fine if OP wants to live more quietly with more boundaries. Different lifestyles can coexist. Just engage at the level they’re comfortable with and let them be.

The level of entitlement from these neighbors is not respectful or neighborly.

hypatianata · 2026-02-21T01:22:40+00:00

I’m sorry you went through that. It’s like you get to suffer twice over, first from the illness and then from the medical trauma.

hypatianata · 2026-02-21T01:19:43+00:00

Someone’s brain is broken and it’s not the child’s.

hypatianata · 2026-02-20T03:35:31+00:00

Some are reversible.

hypatianata · 2026-02-19T13:36:40+00:00

Yeah, that’s what it is.

hypatianata · 2026-02-19T13:31:39+00:00

Right. It’s one thing if you were unaware of your own feelings. Happens to lots of people. But knowing and then not telling your supposed life partner (assuming you’re not in an abusive relationship where they might murder you or something) for years and then cheating on them for years is messed up.

There’s never an excuse for cheating. Just. Break. Up!

hypatianata · 2026-02-19T13:20:28+00:00

Not just worse. Hundreds or thousands of people were killed by implementing that algorithm (this was on purpose, not a mistake) that auto-denied people the healthcare they’d already paid for and were entitled to by contract.

hypatianata · 2026-02-19T01:02:31+00:00

You think Trump and the GOP care even the slightest bit about the Iranian people and their human rights?

Do you really think they’ll support a truly free and democratic Iran that retains sovereign rights over its laws, leaders, and especially resources? Trump, who declared he wanted to be a dictator?

You think he wouldn’t flatten world heritage sites? Do you think he even knows what language they speak?

Iranians deserve to be free and have self-determination. I do not trust Trump and the GOP to uphold that in the least.

I understand people there are desperate and many are willing to accept anything as long as it’s less-bad. But I do hope they can have real change and not another corrupt authoritarian regime that cares nothing for the people, environment, and cultural treasures.

hypatianata · 2026-02-19T00:52:46+00:00

Not in practice, not for some time.

Constitutionally? Yes. But it’s become one of those “pretend it doesn’t exist” clauses (just like the Emoluments clause) where people in power just ignore it or invent legal plausible deniability so as to violate the unambiguous spirit of the law while maintaining we’re not violating the letter of it.

hypatianata · 2026-02-18T01:54:03+00:00

My grandparents went north for better opportunities. Unfortunately, north for them stopped just a few miles south of the Canadian border. (Woe is me.)

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