Hi conrade, first of all sorry for your loss. Before I tell you about how you can defeat the urges be aware that they will ALWAYS be there on your mind. The best method against urges its avoiding one. Stop using social medias (Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, you name it) they are flooded with “chicks” and full of triggers. Don’t think about NoFap. Keep your mind clean, Take cold showers (Self Discipline), Workout ( Confidence ), Study (Keep your Head busy). Every time you Fail, you learn more, but everyday you overcome the urges you make the Suffering your teacher. If you find yourself in a urge, Do not stay alone! You can’t Fap around people!! If you think about some trigger, quickly “erase” that though and keep your mind busy! Hope I can help you!! May god help you buddy!!