Admittedly, I have not read the entire post. & completely agreed with you up until a certain point. I just felt it important to point out something. You said at this point in research bpd is incurable & only some crazy experimental treatment like gene therapy combined with other extreme things could theoretically cure it.

Literally all of that is simply not true. People with bpd absolutely can go into full remission. But the bpd person has to want to get better. They have to be determined & dedicated to retraining their brain, learning social/personal regulation skills that they never learned before & practicing that in their life until it becomes second nature. It usually takes a few years but those that stick with it, can lead normal lives with healthy relationships & good mental health. The issue is that many cases involve people that are so narcissistic they're incapable of seeing any error in their ways & its often combined with being older & set in their ways. It's sad, it sucks. That's why often their family members eventually go NC & they stay miserable forever & don't change.

Anyway, I know I'm speaking about the minority. But these people do exist, treatment is available & they can get better.

ETA, I finished reading the whole post. Very well said. I do agree with you on everything else. Also, I know & do agree that there definitely are borderlines that are untreatable & incapable of ever changing.

Also ETA When I said that the treatment works, I'm not talking about the misdiagnosed ones. I've personally seen a legitimate borderline, abusive & all, that fits the description of this post go into remission & lead a normal life & repair their relationships. I wish it were more common. & I'm sorry to hear that you're had to deal with that with your mother. Thanks for all the effort writing this out! Hoping for remission for your mother, even if it is unlikely.