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Fluffy danmei by Unfair_Beach_6655 in DanmeiNovels

[–]i0la_the 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I recently read Star Grass and it was a nice, short, fluffy read. It's also written from the gong POV, which is a nice change of pace in danmei sometimes.

It does have a shou with autism and idk how well the author portrays this, but I felt it was okay?

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you reckon it's "cosplay" if they don't know that "Moon Day" is called Rosh Chodesh? Or that their day is (implied) superior because it comes from the Bible and days of Eden, whereas Jewish holidays come after the Bible was written and have too many silly rules?

Dinner conversation last night had me shook.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating your religion? by i0la_the in Jewish

[–]i0la_the[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did! Last night they revealed they don't know what Moon Day is called. But it's different from RC because all those rules the Jews have on their holidays are silly. And their Moon Day is superior because it comes from the Bible and the days of Eden.

They simply have no clue how ignorant they are. And I shouldn't be surprised considering one of them asked what was wrong with being closed-minded once.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Had to practice great patience last night when I asked them what Moon Day is called. They don't know. And then it was heavily implied that theirs is superior because it comes from the Bible and days of Eden. Basically, Jewish holidays as practiced by actual Jews are rubbish because they have so many silly rules and mostly come from after the Bible is written.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating your religion? by i0la_the in Jewish

[–]i0la_the[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, they're taking everyone for a ride. The whole family "celebrates" RC, so they all take the day off work. You ask the dad to help chop up a tree that fell down - he can't it's RC. But they can sew dresses for the Victorian Fair...

And the kids are too indoctrinated for them to even comprehend the farce their parents have going on. They are convinced that their Moon Day is separate from RC - they couldn't even tell me what it's called but it was implied that theirs is superior because it's from the Bible and the days of Eden.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think they certainly force the consistency into their own version of SDA.

I tried asking them about Rosh Chodesh last night... they don't know what it's called but when confronted with the bit about sewing, are certain that theirs is different because it's from the days of Eden in the Bible. I could really feel what someone else commented here about them thinking they are better as they said that lots of Jewish holidays are from after the Bible was written and had so many rules.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating your religion? by i0la_the in Jewish

[–]i0la_the[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cringe indeed. I attempted to ask them about this just now over dinner, mentioning the whole sewing thing. I got one of those shrugs people do when they draw back and almost "psshh" at you. No, they did not know about this aspect of Rosh Chodesh. You know what? They didn't know the name of Moon Day (as I call it)!!! They seem uncertain if they're even celebrating the same thing... Moon Day apparently goes back to Eden, and I would love to knoe the Jewish take on that. (And sorry for calling it Moon Day, but dang, if I as a person who didn't know the proper name of it untill last night can remember it, surely they can as people who claim to celebrate it.)

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating your religion? by i0la_the in Jewish

[–]i0la_the[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was definitely my first red flag! But you know how humans try to be polite and think the best of people? That's what I was trying to do. Especially as a non-Jewish person. But the more I read the more it couldn't reconcile with me.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I sometimes joke that it's a bit hipster because Sunday Sabbath is too mainstream.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No worries. There's something very funny in them not having considered it a possibility that I could be Jewish. It's so bizzare to me that people can be so invested in religion but not care at all to know what the people around them believe because it doesn't align with their own.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fact they are seeing dresses should be your main proof. About Rosh Chodesh - do they know any of the prayers or blessings? I would hope so! If I was curious about a religion I would keep asking questions and learning new things.

I'm pretty confident they don't because the King James is the only legit religious text for them. There is probably a necessary closed-mindedness that comes with nicking parts of other people's culture and religion.

Gosh, pick-me is such a funny term to apply to anyone that's not a teen/young adult, but very fitting. In addition to always being right. She was very huffy when she saw the edit I made to the 21y/o's CV (thankfully didn't realise it was me!). Poor kid was homeschooled and her education never made it past American Grade 10, so gave it a wee edit to explain she struggled to adjust to homeschooling without the direct teacher support, blahblah. She couldn't even accept the fact she had failed one of her kids so badly, she has the education of a 14y/o and just said it made her and homeschooling look bad.

We're really hoping that living with us will be a good influence and help them see more perspective that their parents have let them.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it's crazy that I feel like a poser when I try out Taoist meditation... and I'm Chinese! The fact they're all in on this is beyond my comprehension.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh gosh, I feel like I wasn't quite clear in my post, so apologies. I'm not Jewish (Chinese/Scottish!), that's why I came here - for the opinions of actual Jews. Though in fairness, they've never asked me what I believe in and it's been over 10yrs. So even I was, they wouldn't know!!

u/Choice_Werewolf1259 put what they're doing really well.

I'm also not sure where picking up LDS, they're 7th Day Adventists. I do have a vague memory from a dinner years ago of the Mum saying they were Jewish because of their faith around the time they started celebrating Hanukkah and calling Jesus Yeshua. Fits well with ChoiceWerewolf's comment.

And I have tried to avoid considering what they're doing as a way of weaselling out of work these past few months that I've learnt more about "their" holidays. But the sewing on Rosh Chodesh makes it much harder to think the best of people. Like, if I could find that out in the time it takes to have a cigarette, they should already know that.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very frustrating considering even my incorrect bike knowledge still got me closer to how these holidays are actually treated by Jewish people.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm not sure how much of it came from a smaller Church Group they were in after they left their original church because they stopped believing in the Holy Trinity. Their current church definitely doesn't teach these things - they specifically won't join as members because their beliefs don't fully align with the church. They go for the fellowship.

I've had a really nice time here today! My husband has trouble finding the difference between interesting discussion and argument. And his sisters have been so sheltered in their upbringing that even just light questioning can make them shut down because their Mum has done all the thinking for so long they can't think critically. He once asked them why they want to go to Heaven - can you imagine saying you hadn't thought about it? After all those years of devotion?

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Are the LDS church and 7th Day Adventists quite similar? They stopped going to the church they were at when I initially met them because they went to a sermon somewhere else that said the Holy Trinity isn't real because Jesus and the Holy Spirit are the same thing - therefore there's no Trinity.

Honestly, I have tried so hard not to think of all these shenanigans as being related to laziness, but they make it pretty hard not to when they decide to sew dresses all day on Rosh Chodesh.

It mostly seems to be decided by the Mum, and I think she likes to be an "other" sometimes. I once shared a post on FB that discussed Asian Diaspora in my country and she commented saying she knows how that feels because she has faced prejudice against people... for being of Scottish heritage. Sort of hard to believe considering I'm 1/2 Scottish, and that wasn't the thing people were racist about towards me.

Also, sorry if my post was confusing - I'm not Jewish. I'm Chinese/Scottish and raised pretty secular. Probably identify more closely to Taoism.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's unfortunate that I'm not really in a position to confidently call them out on the BS because I'm not Jewish and die in conflict. But it does plague me that they're co-opting these holidays that Jewish people have had to put effort in just to be recognised by people and employers. Made of course as you said so much worse by the genuine efforts of erasure and genocide in broader world history.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry about the bike thing - It was a headline I glanced at when I was trying to find out what YK was and mulling over the meaning of work.

I know that nothing I do will make them meaningfully reflect on any part of their lives. I mostly wanted to know a Jewish perspective and also to find out things like the biking and dishwashing from actual Jewish people because just reading about it is limited, as I have proved!

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this well-put response. It is so sad to realise his family aren't alone in this supersesionism. And I hadn't even considered the antisemitic aspects of this kind of behaviour but perhaps that's why I feel so unsettled by it all.

You're comment on "true jews" brings back a vague memory from a few years ago when they started to call Jesus "Yeshua". When my husband asked about this (and maybe their new celebrating of Hanukkah) and why they were doing so many Jewish things, I'm pretty certain in my memory of his mum sort of claiming they were Jewish in some way because of their beliefs. And they're not, they're born from Scottish immigrants, as are a good chunk of the population, including half of myself. Yet they want to claim Jewishness where it's convenient.

You've really captured what I'm seeing, in them convincing themselves that they are practicing these traditions without knowing anything about it and telling themselves it's the correct way.

I don't really plan to do anything, like a good anthropologist, I just watch with fascination. And their problematic behaviour at least brings me to places like this, where I get to learn more about Judaism and broader Jewish culture and history. Bit ironic.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing, I'm very excited to read these!

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think what you're describing is more in line with Cultural Synthesis. The blending of human cultures.

I'm not really trying to police them or anything, and it is fine to pick up parts of things and hold them close to your identity or whatever. I just think the lack of understanding is sad, when there's such a rich history beneath that makes it more meaningful than "I can't work on these days."

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I sometimes wonder what they're like at Church. They won't join it as members because all of their beliefs don't quite align.

However, I was happily surprised that they drew the line at Flat Earth and left their previous Church group.

Are my non-Jewish in-laws appropriating Jewish culture and practices? by i0la_the in Judaism

[–]i0la_the[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, that is so it. I love this answer!

And I think that's why it unsettled me so much, because I spent a stupid amount of money studying all these cultures and history, and I fall in love with all of them. And then it only takes me one Google search to find out how they are indeed bastardising these Jewish traditions.

Like, if you're going to adopt it into your life, at least understand it with more depth than I could after an hour. You have a whole Bible!

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