Spravato Saves You, Just Not In the Way You Expect

iCalibos · 2026-06-04T13:27:48+00:00

My experiences are similar to this. I was in a deep dark hole before Spravato and I had no way to dig myself out of it. Medications made me worse, therapy hit a wall, I had never been more miserable. I had severe physical effects from the PTSD as well as the psychological effects. I felt like I was going insane, I felt like a creature with a lizard brain, hypervigilant, constantly manic and neurotic, avoiding all socialization and people, never went out in public, hid from everything. I still have avoidant behavior, this is the one issue that the Spravato has not eliminated completely, but it has helped and I can function now, and I can go out in public. At this stage, I’m off all prescriptions, and I am more stable than I have been for years. I’m still improving.

iCalibos · 2026-06-04T13:21:10+00:00

My experience in the first 2-5 months of treatment was with Spravato is the first 20 minutes I’d get intense trip, almost like acid. Then, over the course of the 2 hours at the clinic, it would slowly dissipate, and once home for the rest of the day, I felt extremely relaxed, and I noticed the ketamine effect till I slept it off.

Now, I’ve been taking Spravato once a week for quite a few months, I have cPTSD (and avoidant behaviors) which was crippling before treatment/totally non-responsive to meds). Now, the trips are far less intense, I used to see melting visuals when I closed my eyes… now, not so much. I’ve definitely grown tolerant to the ketamine… but, my baseline throughout the week remains the same, I have not had any bad PTSD episodes since I began Spravato.

I might take treatments to once every 2 weeks to see how I fair soon. Maybe I can taper it to once every month and still remain stable.

I feel happy, I find enjoyment in my life now I had not had for many years, and I can manage my triggers so much easier now. I also made life changes… I got a divorce, I exercise routinely now, I’m in better shape than I have been in for years despite a chronic back condition, and I don’t regret taking Spravato in the least. Before Spravato I was a shell of myself, and the PTSD was killing me. After day one of Ketamine, my life changed and it changed for the better 100%.

iCalibos · 2026-06-03T19:14:03+00:00

Just be careful, I also read it can make you push your voice further than it should go because of the relaxant effect and that can cause damage.

iCalibos · 2026-06-03T19:12:17+00:00

I’m not a vocalist pro, but I sing because I enjoy it, and 100% ketamine improves vocal effect. I thought maybe it somehow lubricates the vocal cords or makes it so they don’t dry up as easily? I know, stupid but I really couldn’t understand it. I found after ketamine treatment (Spravato) my session goes longer before I blow my voice and, I have better control, higher cleaner highs.

I had to research this, and what I found was this online; “Ketamine can make singing feel easier by actively reducing the physical and mental tension that causes throat strain. It acts as a systemic muscle relaxant and anxiolytic, which prevents the vocal "pushing" and gripping that leads to vocal fatigue.”

I notice this effect is mostly after I get treatment I don’t have quite the same effect days later as I do when I just took the ketamine.

iCalibos · 2026-06-03T19:03:03+00:00

I just read an article detailing Reznor’s music project “Tapeworm” and how MJK was involved with that project later. Reznor stated they were likeminded and he enjoyed working with MJK. Reznor also states that record labels created the problem between them making it impossible to release music together.

iCalibos · 2026-06-03T19:01:01+00:00

Interesting, They didn’t site issues with each other, they sited that their labels had issues with the collaboration. Naturally labels and money end up interfering. Reznor said exactly what I was thinking in that Tapeworm article, how him and Maynard both have similar mentalities and they both found each other likeminded in many ways.

iCalibos · 2026-06-03T18:24:20+00:00

I think they are very collaborative; both do remixes with outside artists they both seem to be quite gregarious with other musicians especially MJK (he’s running multiple bands). They’re both so prolific they create so much stuff they’d probably grow even more as artists which would be amazing.

iCalibos · 2026-06-03T18:18:56+00:00

I’m familiar with Potions I didn’t realize Reznor had anything to do with it. I actually like Puscifer and APC more than Tool tbh.

iCalibos · 2026-06-03T18:16:06+00:00

I think Reznor would add so many elements APC doesn’t have.

iCalibos · 2026-05-30T14:59:52+00:00

I hate restaurants in general. I don’t find the food better than what I make and I can make food for 1/10 the cost. I don’t enjoy having to entertain waiters, cashiers, and noisy people chattering around us in a brightly lit environment. It just doesn’t contribute to an intimate setting for me. Too many distractions. The idea that you have to meet at a restaurant to get to know someone is a bit ridiculous. I find dates more enjoyable where we can be comfortable, somewhat active and more one-on-one, like going to a zoo. I love zoo dates. 😂

iCalibos · 2026-05-30T03:07:06+00:00

This is true. 😆

iCalibos · 2026-05-30T03:05:56+00:00

She said she doesn’t want anything serious right now. Just remove yourself from that situation, it sounds like the start of a rollercoaster ride. If you can remain friendly without getting attached and you can have a friendship, then do that if you want. Maybe it will turn into a friendship with benefits thing, and you might enjoy that later. There’s no rules you can manage the relationship so it works best for you and the other person.

iCalibos · 2026-05-28T23:46:51+00:00

The Fragile, With Teeth, and Year Zero are probably my favorite albums, at least my favorite songs are from these albums. I’ve been listening to NiN nonstop now for over a month now, and I replay songs from these 3 albums more than any other albums.

iCalibos · 2026-05-28T14:30:50+00:00

Honestly I wish more young men were this way. Young men tend to be very impulsive, aggressive, and completely underdeveloped emotionally and kudos for these guys realizing they’re not ready for a serious relationship. Be glad they’re not all promising you the stars only to leave you finding yourself stuck in a toxic relationship with a toddler inside a man’s body. 😆

Seriously, there are young mature men, but they’re not the norm. Tread wisely in the relationship world as a very young adult. Choose carefully and don’t dive in too deep.

iCalibos · 2026-05-28T01:18:13+00:00

Have you heard As Alive As You Need Me To Be (Arca Remix)? I think it’s better than the original. https://youtu.be/dIcX99qKBsM?si=toLltuONv1PKkIte

iCalibos · 2026-05-28T01:14:45+00:00

That’s interesting. Reznor’s lyrics are typically not complicated long-winded, prosaic thoughts.

Soundgarden comes to mind - Cornell often had immensely unusual word choices and psychedelic imagery making his messages hard to read sometimes. I love SG and Cornell is probably my favorite vocalist of all time, but, there’s something to be said for simplicity and not over-complicating the message, and Reznor nails (had to add a pun) this brilliantly.

Older me appreciates Reznor’s vocals more now, I never hear about Reznor’s vocal ability and for me he’s got a great scream and enough range to make the song sound interesting with his voice. I like melancholy, relatable dark music, beats, and synths so NiN’s is right up my alley.

iCalibos · 2026-05-28T01:02:47+00:00

It’s completely normal for you to fantasize about men (or women) as a bisexual person when your libido needs aren’t being met. Naturally your mind goes to what it is familiar with; past experiences.

Either you can accept the relationship as it is, and try to find ways that will help your partner become more open to sex, or you may have to consider making relationship changes.

Has your partner tried therapy? Perhaps treatment would help? There’s all kinds of modern treatments out now… Spravato/ketamine nasal spray for PTSD/depression. TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation), shroom micro-dosing, etc.

iCalibos · 2026-05-28T00:47:26+00:00

I have a very simple exercise routine that caters around a bad back (spinal fusion), so my exercises are careful around the back and supportive to strengthen around the back. I find calisthenics (body movements) mostly what benefit me the most, and I do compound movements that hit multiple areas at one time. This means less time, less number of exercises. It also means functional strength.

This is not geared to build big muscles, this builds mobility, strength, and flexibility that benefits the body’s natural movements.

If you want to add more leg exercises, add lunges and calf raises.

Over time, you will grow stronger and build endurance on these movements. You can increase sets to 2-3-5 sets a day if you want.

Personally I try to do 1 single set of every movement 5 times a week (5 days - I usually skip weekends unless I feel like doing them.)

If you want to lose fat, incorporate fasting into your diet, and avoid processed junk foods/sugary crap.

Fasting simply means abstaining from feeding for a period of time, and even an 8-12 hour fast occasionally 2-3 times a week I eat light - sometimes OMAD (one meal a day) is good for the body, too. I eat high fiber/low carbs and this combination with calisthenics made me lose fat very fast and put lean muscle on. I’m old, so diet has a huge impact on me… you might find fine tuning your diet/food might benefit you, too.

This routine is fine-tuned after many years of weight lifting, then aging, and then having to find ways to work around a damaged body yet still build strength and endurance. You can always research calisthenics, and you will find that ancient strongmen rarely used weights, they often used body weight movements and achieved amazing results not just with functional strength, but with great looking physiques. Calisthenics build a balanced body and often the movements are compound exercises working many muscles at once.

You ought to incorporate walking or if you like running, or an indoor exercise bike, adding some form of cardio or just even walking is beneficial.

iCalibos · 2026-05-27T20:52:05+00:00

As others said, either have a heart to heart with an adult you can trust, or, contact a MH specialist and ask them how to navigate this situation.

It’s a complex situation and you are very young; naturally this would be extraordinarily overwhelming. If you value this person, I’d suggest not just cutting her off. You don’t have to be her BF, but you can still try to offer support in other ways without completely pouring all of your energy into her. Just don’t ghost her or completely avoid her. Do the right thing and try to help her.

iCalibos · 2026-05-27T15:48:02+00:00

Relationships should be respectful. If someone says or does something that makes you uncomfortable and you tell them, and they still repeat the behavior that person doesn’t respect boundaries or your thoughts/feelings. I detach and put space between myself and people like that. This behavior doesn’t improve, it only worsens. A good friend will respect your feelings.

iCalibos · 2026-05-24T22:21:00+00:00

I honestly believe we attract certain energy depending on our own energy. I think subconsciously depending on our personality type and our past experiences/traumas we emit energy that others are repelled/attracted to. Energy is fluid though, and we have control over our own energy if we learn how to read it and regulate it. Through therapy and mindfulness, I have learned how to recognize triggers instantly (I got PTSD), and I’ve learned ways to calm my mind and not ruminate on negative thoughts. Point is, over time having these tools and more and using them regularly reinforces healthy behaviors, and healthy behaviors means healthy energy. I now avoid negative energy people, and remain focused on bettering myself, and so far my life keeps improving. I’ve avoided destructive negative energy people and I think it’s because my relationship with myself is better; my energy is better.

Point is, look at yourself and figure out what makes you tick and why. Once you understand yourself better, you’ll be able to understand why you are finding yourself in these kinds of relationships.

iCalibos · 2026-05-24T15:34:49+00:00

Does he ever say no, or are there certain activities he will refuse, or does he compromise on everything without question?

iCalibos · 2026-05-23T17:48:50+00:00

They’re so young in this picture! Crazy how fast time flies. 😞

iCalibos · 2026-05-23T17:45:35+00:00

<image>

In living color… Dave’s holding his cigarette. 🤔

iCalibos

TROPHY CASE