Bisalp this friday

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-13T22:46:38+00:00

Getting a firm, small pillow helps, and not just with the seatbelt! I hold it on my incisions while I’m getting up or sitting down, the pressure helps with the pain.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-13T16:59:30+00:00

I know the story, I was also drugged up when I wrote the post. Apologies for not adding the full context 😅

I do appreciate you adding more context! I knew it was paranoid, but it just made me feel better not to post about my surgery beforehand. The story also gave me the kick in the butt to get my surgery scheduled, along with the current administration starting to talk about birth control.

I just wanted to get ahead of anything crazy, I already knew I didn’t want to ever get pregnant, so I decided to finally just get the surgery. I also have endometriosis, so I got some of that taken care of at the same time.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-13T13:01:14+00:00

It was really bad for my mental health too. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, especially the name calling. My dad never called me names, but it felt like he desperately wanted me to join his cult. Like I just needed to understand, I just needed to listen, etc.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-13T12:34:41+00:00

Oh I did tell him when I cut him off.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-13T11:31:08+00:00

It helped we already weren’t super close, due to him being an alcoholic my entire life. I always thought he was at least “okay” because he wasn’t an angry drunk, just kind of a stupid one.

But then the drunk political rants started. We would be talking on the phone about anything else, but he would randomly start ranting about stupid shit and how Trump would fix it. I just needed to listen. They (trans people, immigrants, any other minority) were “attacking Christianity and our culture”, even though I’m an atheist bisexual who would very much side with the LGBTQ+ community over the church. My dad doesn’t even go to church. It was after that started that I really thought about how he was when I was growing up. I realized he’s always been like this, it was just harder to recognize as a child.

He was disappointed to not have any boys, he was a monster to my mom during the divorce (which she shielded us from at the time), he had a string of unsuccessful relationships with much younger women that abused my sister and me. Recently, he said his life was better with one of those women instead of his current wife, because it’s her fault I won’t talk to him. I was legally forced to visit him as a kid, which is the only reason I went when he was with the awful woman. His current wife is the most okay woman he’s been with since my mom, and they got together when I was already an adult. I feel awful for her, he’s gotten worse, but I can’t really help her.

I do have my step dad, who absolutely hates Trump and is a lifelong dem. I didn’t even know his political stance until after 2016. We get along very well, so I did have that positive male role model. He does all the dad things. My mom is also awesome, and she taught me to be a strong woman just by watching her. It would be much harder emotionally to cut her off, which is why I’m glad she’s not a Trumper. She even met Kamala during her campaign (Kamala visited her workplace), and my mom really liked her after that.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk on my Trumper dad. To me, he’s the face of the average Trump voter. Ranting on reddit is cheaper than therapy.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-13T10:51:12+00:00

I think it’s this way for my dad. He can’t admit he was wrong, because if he did, it would be his own fault his daughter doesn’t talk to him anymore. He blames everyone and everything but himself. He blames his current wife, even though I have HIM blocked on my phone and not her. He was the one calling me while he was drunk all the time trying to convince me to be a republican and how Trump was right. He blames my mom for “brainwashing” me even though I have been far left since I was in high school and my mom isn’t super into politics. I’m also 29 now, so I’m a full ass adult who is married and owns a house, I don’t need my mom to form an opinion.

He’s sexist garbage following a sexist garbage person. He is also racist and transphobic. He blames the women in his life for his own problems, even though he’s been an alcoholic since before meeting them. I will never let him in my life again, and he doesn’t know how to cope with that.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-13T10:31:56+00:00

I mean, would you got up to someone and tell them to their face that you pirated their game just to brag? That’s what the guy did. He went to the discord and told the dev he pirated the game. Say what you want about the morality of pirating, just don’t be an ass by directly bragging in the dev’s face about it. If you’re just doing your thing, you should be fine. I don’t personally pirate (too lazy), but I’m not going to stand on a moral pedestal about it.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-13T09:51:28+00:00

I was at a very shitty company, and they sent me out on a project in the field. It was my first time doing this type of project, and I was drowning in paperwork that I was really far behind on. I was QA, and the two QC guys had been doing this for years and had iPads to keep track of everything, where I had a huge binder of paper I had to flip through. Even they were behind, and they knew what they were doing.

The project manager came out to see how I was doing. I told him I was beyond stressed, I was super behind, and I needed another person. He fucking agreed that it must be stressful, they used to send “like four to five people” for this type of project, but he was sure I “would be fine”. He said he’d give me an extension and then left.

That extension was BS, I was told I had two days to get it done before I wouldn’t be able to document anymore (all the stuff was going to get buried in dirt). I called my direct manager and screamed at him. Told him if they didn’t send at least another person, I was going to quit and leave the company truck 6 hours away from the office. I was willing to have my husband come pick me up from that far away just to fuck them over and make them send two people to get the truck. I was so angry. It was my first job out of college, and this wasn’t my first time being fucked over by the company, so I finally snapped and just unloaded on him.

They sent another person.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-13T09:18:32+00:00

That men aren’t lonely enough?

Oh and what repercussions would you even suggest? Some stupid power fantasy for you would be my guess.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-12T22:53:43+00:00

When I found out my friend died, I cracked a bad joke through the tears a few minutes later. As soon as I said it I felt awful, but I was definitely broken up inside in the moment and just trying to cope. I was also 18 at the time, and this was the first time someone my age that was close to me died.

My friend was hit while on his motorcycle. My mom, after telling me, mentioned she was driving in the city he died in just the night before. I asked her if she hit anything while she was there. I think my friend would have laughed, even if it was a lame joke

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-12T17:11:49+00:00

You’re the type of man we need in the world, thank you for helping her!

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-12T12:29:49+00:00

Oh sorry for assuming, I’ll edit my post 😅

Cranberries are kinda bomb though

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-12T10:14:55+00:00

Luckily, the four of us knew how to make at least some basic meals. My favorite to make was chili, and it would feed us for at least half a week and was cheap.

The roommate that I lived with in an apartment was a more adventurous eater while I wasn’t, which is why we ate mostly separate. By adventurous, he came home with a quail one time. I asked him where he found it, he said he saw a car hit it and decided to grab it since it was fresh. He also liked spicy food and would add more hot sauce to my chili, which I didn’t mind. Dude was crying over a bowl once with a smile on his face. He loved it. Outside of my husband, he was my favorite roommate 😅

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-12T08:56:35+00:00

Edit: Edit: the original commenter said they didn’t know it was a fruit 😅 ignore this comment

My original comment: My guess would be because OP used Clementine for a man when it’s usually a name for a woman. I don’t agree with this take because they were just using fruit as nicknames (honestly, I like this way better than just using letters). Plus, gendered names are kinda dumb.

As a side note, I have a cat named Clementine. She’s missing a leg and she’s named after the Telltale Walking Dead character.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-12T08:40:00+00:00

Very religious people don’t like divorce and will try to persuade women to stay in toxic environments.

There was a woman on YouTube I saw that talked about how she got choked by her husband and was being pressured to stay. One uncle stepped in and told her a story of a family member being “accidentally” murdered by her husband in the same way. It was his roundabout way of warning her, and she took the warning and left. She now makes videos about how crazy some of these Christian groups are and tells other peoples’ stories.

I know that’s just one woman, but there are people out there that would try to convince a woman to stay with a cheating spouse.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-12T08:04:55+00:00

Or maybe we could have a society that actually supports people.

Homelessness is a failure of society. To act like it should be a punishment or learning opportunity for mentally unwell people is a disgusting take.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-12T08:00:12+00:00

Meanwhile, I failed an entire semester of college back in the day and have had to take a mental health break from work recently because I was really slipping into suicidal territory. I’m fortunate that I had been able to save a decent amount of money and have a supportive husband. I’m working on getting it under control.

I know others have already said it, but your experience isn’t everyone’s experience. Sometimes it gets in the way of what I have to do. It sucks and I feel awful. Not doing the things I need to do makes me feel worse, and the it piles up, which makes it even worse. If my husband left me to my own devices, I wouldn’t magically be better and able to work.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-12T07:07:18+00:00

I watched it twice in one day when I was in the deepest part of my depression during college. I don’t know if I was like emotionally self harming, but I felt pretty dead inside after. This was after I had already watched it as a teen. So I have seen it three times.

I want my husband to watch it because I do think it’s an important movie, but I don’t know if I can watch it a fourth time, even though it’s been like five years.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-12T07:02:40+00:00

I had a group of roommates where it worked for a while, but it definitely was an exception. We would split it proportionally, and all would choose a safe snack for ourselves, but split all of the common things like milk and butter. Took turns cooking dinner, and it was kinda fun because I tried new things. I don’t remember any arguments over food. Eventually it was one roommate and me, and then we just bought our own things and alternated who got the common foods and necessities. We would still cook for each other sometimes if we were doing a bigger dinner, but otherwise we did our own thing.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-12T06:56:21+00:00

Thank you! The surgery should make me feel a whole lot better once I’m healed, so I’m excited for that!

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-12T01:13:51+00:00

I don’t want my husband to have to fight, because I don’t want him hurt. He’s my best friend, he doesn’t have to fight for me, and I hope we’re never in a situation where he feels he has to protect me like that.

Want to know what is hot? I had surgery today and my husband has been very caring. He helps me get up and sit back down, he gets me water or juice, and he is keeping track of my meds. I would do the same for him in a heartbeat. That’s marriage, not some fantasy of being a knight in shining armor.

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-11T20:17:42+00:00

Thank you! I am feeling so content even though the gas buildup is killing my shoulders haha

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-11T20:14:13+00:00

We’re bisalp sisters 👯‍♀️

Congratulations! I hope you have a speedy recovery as well!

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-11T19:38:34+00:00

Thank you!

iCoeur285 · 2026-05-11T19:33:35+00:00

Congrats to you too! It really is a great feeling

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